One the worst things that has happened to Black people in this nation, aside from slavery is how one identifies themselves. Black boys in particular struggle with knowing exactly who they are. Many Black boys find themselves not knowing who they are because there isn't a father in their life to tell them exactly who they are. Too often those absentee fathers themselves do not know who they are. Therefore, it is a vicious cycle in our community that plagues many of our youth in America.
There are a number of factors that are paramount in determining who a Black boy ultimately is. I shall attempt to address some of them here.
1) History
A child that does not know their family history is a incomplete child. While the numbers are staggering, the numbers only tell half the tale. Reportedly 70 percent of children born today are born into single parent homes. There is only 1/2 of the history available to that child. Everyone wants to know who they are. They want to know why they think and feel the way they do. Everyone can trace their history today due to research and technology. Sites such as Ancestry.com help yet they do not provide the intricate details of one's parents or the history of those parents families. On a broader scale, we have seen the damage of our people lacking the knowledge of self due to high crime rates, suicide and stress related illnesses. Slavery certainly took away the history of a people and it has been a challenge to gain that knowledge and make that knowledge not only available but accessible as well. While single parents are forced to work long hours, the time to reflect upon one's purpose and design is a second thought often ignored because of the time restraints placed upon tired parents. Many parents cannot even help their children with homework because they lack the education and know how to be a help to educators.
2) Culture
The Black people in this nation are involved in many types of sub-cultures. One widely popular sub-culture, hip hop has been the mother to many of our children. The music and fashion has gripped our children to a point where the culture has inspired many but it fails to provide core truths that will build character and wisdom. Unfortunately, hip hop basically masquerades its self as a pacifier for young people with no clear direction. The criminalizing of the culture has been the dominant face of the culture. While there are success stories, there are thousands of broken dreams and hearts. Pop culture has crippled many of our youth to where honest to goodness lifestyles are shunned and frowned upon. While many of our youth are intelligent, the popular stance in the music is sex and violence. While many artists are trying to find their niche, many are forced to act as clones for record labels who only want what is considered "hot". This trendy viewpoint makes not grounds for stability. Many artists are in debt and lack the business savvy to stay current or lucrative. The videos portrayed in many artists songs do not reflect reality. While many will claim it is entertainment only, people fail to forget that people around the world believe these videos are real life. The culture is more deceptive than any pie in the sky religion. Many young Black boys see these videos and want the cars and the scantily clad women. It is unrealistic but this what they see and too often what they identify masculinity to be.
3) Knowledge
What you dont know can hurt you. The knowledge base for many young men varies but too often young Black boys do not graduate from high school. Those Black boys who do, rarely seldom enter or finish college. While college education is expensive, it is a necessary component in America. Trade schools are fine for those who do not want to study long hours but it is not valued like a college education. As a Black man, I see thousands of Black women graduating from college. As a college graduate myself, I also do see many Black men graduating but not nearly enough. In some of our communities, education is frowned upon. That is a lie. The truth is our people have always valued education but the media perception is that education is for nerds and squares. I wanted a college education so that I would have options. Most young Black boys unfortunately will not gain those options. Many of our youths are forced into a life of crime simply because they do not possess the basic skills to go to school. If one can gather the basic skills, reading, writing and math, then the higher levels of education are obtainable. Its simple. Yes, it is hard work but it pays off in relationships, knowledge and skill sets.
4) Who am I?
The discovery of self is determined by the desired person's reality. A man or woman must desire to know more about themselves to understand the potential that lies within themselves. There are ministries dedicated to helping people find their purpose in life because too often people do not know how to create the reality of their dreams. That is why we have life coaches, preachers, teachers and the like today. God gives everyone a purpose and a dream. It is up to each of us to follow that dream, cultivate that dream and manifest that dream. Will everyone succeed? No. Yet Micheal Jordan said that he gained success because of his failures. If one must fail, then one should fail with the purpose in mind of moving forward and using that failure as a spring board. Black boys need to understand failure is not an option. It is a condition in life designed to teach you a greater lesson. That lesson is that life isn't always easy and you are going to have to work hard, have faith and endure in order to get success.
Black boys can be saved. Yet, none of us can be scared of them. Many of our youth have fallen into gangs. While gangs on the surface seem to be detrimental because of the violence associated with them; it should be noted that there is nothing wrong with young people wanting to belong and wanting to be with other young people. Black men have to show young Black boys the way. Black boys need to see a Black man in full operation. A Black man cares about his community, his children and the lives of the women he comes in contact with. A Black man dresses appropriately. He is not trying to wear the garbs of a sixteen year old. Paul said it best. When I was a child, I spake as a child. When I became a man I put childish things away. This is only a symptom of the problem in our community. We have children acting men and men acting like children. The truth is we are all children of God, yet how we respond and what we know is the difference. So when you see grown men with their pants hanging off their backside, understand it is only an identity crisis on display. We have a serious problem but its nothing we cannot solve. Yet, we have to act like we want to solve the problem even to be able to pronounce solutions to the problem itself. It is what it is.
