What is wrong with some White Christians?

Lately, I have been dealing with my own issues. However, Im taking a break from that nonsense to discuss a real dangerous topic: The trouble with some of our White Christians. How is it possible in 2009 that racism is still raping the soul of America? Truthfully, racism is one of Satan's most powerful weapons. With the election of our first Black president Barrack Obama, we have seen the fangs of some whites proverbially manifest. There are cowards in the pulpit praying for President Obama's death. I am not even going to give these idiots any pub on this site. You want to know more than google it.

The health care issue has been the powder keg of choice. While many Americans grow leery of the democrats issue of having a government sanctioned health care plan for many Americans who do not have health care; It has divided the country most along race lines. However, I ask a question. Have you been someone without health care. Do you know how terrible it is to go the emergency room without health care insurance? Personally, I have been blessed most of my working life to have health insurance. There were times I thought I couldn't afford it. Yet, I still signed up for it because it is one of those things in life that is better have and not need it than to need it and not have it. I can tell you that the emergency room has been used by Americans as a first and last resort. Recently the emergence of many urgent care facilities has arise to stem this tide. Yet, again the issue is health care. It is better to pay a co-pay more than to pay a flat fee. Either way, prescriptions are also an issue. High blood pressure medicine is expensive. Yet, if you do not have insurance it could be a choice of eating or not. I am not here to debate the issue but it serves as a backdrop to one of America's oldest sicknesses, racism.

Lets be honest. Many White folks do not like Black people period. It has been that way for the longest in this nation. Electing a Black man into the highest office in the country was not the America many Whites envisioned. Yet, God and destiny had made a determination that was going to happen. Some whites have gone as far as to label president Obama as the anti-Christ. Poor stupid White folks. What is hilarious is the fact that most of our recent presidents have been labeled as the anti-Christ too. Also, let us not forget the stupid Black people who also join in on this smelly dung heap. They too will not get any pub here. You want to know about them, google them to your heart's content. What is the problem? Why is race still a factor in this nation? Well, history teaches us that Whites have a deep seeded fear. This is Satan's tricknology towards Whites. They poison their babies with their fear and the tradition of fear lives on. Do Whites think that they are closer to God possessing this type of fear? Its a running joke among people of color that White people are scared and scary in general. We run into them on our jobs alot. I have called out Whites on their political views. Do they think that right wing talk radio and ring wing media are preaching the gospel? It's funny on the surface and a crying shame at the roots.

So while many people of color enjoy one of histories greatest achievements, Whites are sitting in their cars commuting to work and sitting at the dinner table lamenting over the state of the nation. White supremacists are enjoying new found membership and status. White preachers are using the sacred desk to spew hate for a man and his "socialist" politics. Socialist politics. Yeah right. The few idiots who have a forum are using fear and scare tactics to make gun companies lick their chops. Check out who are the chief gun owners in this nation. Google it because I am not going to waste this space talking about who is afraid in this nation. Yes, White people are scared. Yet, I caution them with this statement. If White Christians believe that they are right in their backward stance of siding with the desire that the President of the United States fails or worst, even dies. You will only serve as the dumping ground of what people all over the country and the world know about Whites. They are scared and vicious. History will not record your achievements as great. History will simply record you as a people who were decieved by yourselves because you possess the weakest emotion mankind has ever known. Fear. The bible teaches that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of love and a sound mind. So, White America what do you really have and more than that, who gave you your fear? It certainly wasn't a carpenter from Nazareth. Check yourself. Those are your weakest links, your fear and your inability to check your own people. Though they are a pathetic minority among you. Like reality television, they are making good White Americans look very bad. You ought to be ashamed.

The trouble with being alone

As a man, I have needs. The needs I have concerning the opposite sex is most perplexing. I want intimacy, I want sex, I want companionship. What is the problem? Women are too complex. They want so much from you. Yet, they dont take the time to fully appreciate what you do want to give them. Yes, as a man we want sex, but that isnt all we want. If a woman offers up her body, especially in fear that the man will go on to the next woman, then that is extortion and not love. Why would you believe you have love in the first place? Men try their best to not be so emotional because emotions can drive you like a slave. Emotions will make you compromise your character and even your standards. A man wants to know that the woman he is with will be there for them, good or bad. Too many women are quick to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. Yet, when the woman has the trouble, the man is expected to bear the trouble. I have tried my dear best to love women past their pains, past relationships, and baggage and all their drama. Recently i have met two women who are married, both dont live with their husbands and they have been separated for over 5 year periods. Yet, they wont get a divorce for whatever reason. Its crazy because they expect me to deal with that. At the end of the day, you pick and choose people who have problems and issues. No one is perfect but some stuff is flat out hypocritical. If I have an issue I am damned for it. Yet, I am expected to deal with females and their issues. Things like this make me wonder if I will ever get married again. Right now its a landslide in the favor of not happening.

Was Truly

Dear So and So,

Its funny how times turns into memories.
Wonder if ever you ever remember me.
Had to admit that you leaving hurt me to the core.
But when i heard you got married my heart hit the floor.
Knew I should have closed that door long time ago.
But I left it open for you to walk through,
and what did you do?
Left me shook with the blues.
I thought about it day after day.
You had to have it your way.
So I wish you well and pray your marriage dont fail.
I had to blaze a trail
one full of fears and so many tears.
But one thing I didnt know at first,
it could have ended much worse.

But now I see the sunshine,
and things are fine.
I was in a hole but I climbed out.
Chose another route.
No more pain and hurt no longer
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Now im on some Herculean hostility.
I got my swag plus God-given abilities.

Now you can catch me in the drop top,
with the deuce in the air.
Love is hard but I know its fair.
I dont care how much you miss my daughter,
she dont need you,
she got her father.
So dont bother asking how we doing.
We lounging in a three story townhome,
God got us, so you can really just go on.

I watched God mend my heart
in the midst of the storm.
I watched God and His marvelous work performed.
Now the phone rings off the hook.
Ladies looking to pick up the one you left and shook.
But I just take my time and chill.
No rush to get hitched thats just how I feel.
Cause the grass aint greener,
it just have more weeds
and its gonna take everything you got,
to tend to its needs.
It all looks good on the surface.
But you cant tell me that for one second you aint nervous.

As for me, I hold my head.
Keep my focus and get this bread.
My eyes have bled
for the last time.
If you need to hear it again,
me and Ash are fine.
So your phone calls will go unanswered.
You chose your space,
and now its all up to fate.
As for me, I will serve the LORD.
Keep my humility and be restored.

So I say adieu for the last time.
I'll be in the H on my grind.
I aint hard to find but dont look this way.
Stay right there cause you have been took,
thats all I can say.

Sincerely,
Was Truly.

How I feel these days

This past year has been bitter sweet.
I was on my feet only to lose my seat.
Made some strides
and mistakes I wish I could hide.
My pride took a dive inside.
Even as a glide
in these city streets,
chunking the deuce
I tasted success and defeat.
When you gain much
sometimes you can lose touch.
With what made you real.
And people love what you do,
but all and still.
You feel empty.
Life is like an old Gerald Levert song,
I would do anything for love
even if means doing wrong.
But the pathway is straight,
so I try to stay straight.
Yet I confess sometimes I hate to wait.
When the rain pours outside,
and there's no one to hug you in the storm.
Sometimes I wish I could change my form.
To be invisible like Claudine's son.
I could just hide and run from,
the pains of being lonely and all it brings.
I been divorced for two years
and I just finally threw away my old wedding ring.
I'd be lying if I told you I still didnt feel the sting.
Yet when the night sky is lit,
you can catch me in the drop top meditating over all of it.
Just glad to be alive,
cause I thought about suicide many days.
When the world gets crazy,
I just think about my baby.
She needs daddy to be strong.
She needs daddy to be around long.
So I just put away the sad songs.
Yet, sometimes I do get down.
These days, hell im just glad to be around.


Richard J Wright (2009)

The Road Less Traveled

Time always puts a child on this road one way or another. Your friends leave you. Your parents leave you. Your spouse leaves you. Your children leave you. Ultimately, at the end of the day, you are always heading toward this reality. Some roads are made to walk alone. There is nothing more to do than accept the reality and embrace the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of it. Sometimes we do not know why we are alone. We may have lots of people around us but we do not know why we are by ourselves or feel that way. Sometimes, like it or not. God wants you to Himself. One way or another, He is going to get His way. Even if it means you traveling on the road less traveled in life.

Mending a broken heart.

When someone breaks your heart, you are many times left to deal with the emotional baggage. You can find yourself busy living the life in front of you and then a thought invades your mind and pummels you to the ground. Though you may have forgiven them, the ability to forget about it is twice as hard.



For myself, I have come to realize that I am in that mode. I cannot explain to anyone how I feel. I get angry and sad all at the same time. How does it feel knowing that the last several years of your life was a lie? How do you feel knowing that the person you share your space with, your secrets and your tears with has decided that they dont want to share time and love with you any longer? I have had people in my life tell me that Im better off. She isnt worth it and that I ought to be glad. Tell that to my heart. Yet it was my heart that she preyed upon.




When I start to think about how will I recover I always try to remember that I did nothing wrong. The mistakes I made were covered because I atoned for them. I did everything I could. I pleaded with her, I cried to God and opened myself up to the point where I was taken advantage of. I always thought that If I did what I could, then I would get back what I lost. Truthfully, I am not so sure. Have someone ever burned a bridge with you standing on it? It is what it is.



Now. I am facing the future without her. I know I can never kiss her again. I know I can never make love to her again. I know I can never be her friend. I know plenty of people who are friends with their ex wives and ex husbands. Yet, I cannot concieve such being the case with us. While I did speak to her recently I realize that in my heart of hearts. There could never be anything remotely similarly to a friendship. She is my enemy. While I know she is basking in the newness of a marriage and all the sweetness that it brings, I know that in the back of her of mind. I shall be there as an after thought. The day will come when she will look back and regret what she did. No lie can stand. Her new life is a mirage. Soon, the curtain will be pulled back and it will all stand naked for her and those around her to see. The seed that she sowed will spring up and its fruits will be bitterly. As for me, it is no consolation. God will mete out his justice in his own time and way. It is what it is.


While time goes by, I am convinced that love will visit my life. I am persuaded that love will touch me again. I will love just as hard and even harder. Yet that is many days from now. I will continue to serve my God at my church. I will continue to pursue my dreams. A friend of mine told me that she will come back to me. Yet, I know that will be not so, for two reasons. One. She knows what she did. Two. She knows what she did again. While I will never say never. I just assume that that miracle will be in God's Hands. God must attend to my wounds and He must restore my faith in love. It will take a lot of time. I dont have time to think about what could have been and I must focus on what will be. This is my only hope for the mending of my broken heart.

The sting of betrayal

There is tale of when Julius Caesar was being murdered that he fought vigorously until the end. Yet, the tale goes that when he turned and saw Brutus that he stopped fighting. Brutus then stabbed him with the fatal strike.


We all know of the story of Jesus betrayal by Judas. For 30 pieces of silver, he betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

Why people betray one another? Its hard to say honestly. Perhaps its greed or vengence.

I have been betrayed. It has been a terrible experience. A woman who I loved for several years relocated to a new town and married a man after only month of being there. While I questioned her the idea of moving to a new town. She insisted that it was not for a man. Yet, here I was being gullible and giving her the benefit of the doubt. A friend of both of us called me out the clear blue and told me. Before she left, she was evicted out of her home. I had love for her, so I allowed her and her kids to stay with me. We slept in the same bed. Made love in the same bed several times and yet she did not have enough love for me to stay and try to work things out. We were divorced but I believed that we could have reconciled. Yet after finding things out on her myspace page, this wedding was being planned right under my nose. People around us assumed that I knew she was getting married. I did not know and you know how that is. You are usually the last one to know. Well, even recently she tried to deny the fact that she was. Yet, why I do not know. Perhaps it was to keep me in her life indirectly. Either way, we are finished and could never be friends again. She used me and didnt even apologize for it. Which is crazy because I do not think the man she was with knew that she was still having sex with me (and trust me it was a lot). Betrayal is a strange brew. How does she sleep at night knowing that all I did was try to help her and be a blessing. Yet she now has a new last name, a new city, and a new set of issues. I confided in someone close to and they said they wish they could be a fly on the wall because she is going to get hers big time. As much as that maybe true, it is not justice for me. Instead i have heal from the wounds inflicted and move on with my life and not allow this unfortunate thing interfere with my next relationship if it is to be. Betrayal is a monster. Some can live with, and I guess she will. In retrospect I feel sorry for her. I hate what she did but what will happen to her because of it is out of my hands. It is what it is.