Do we want love or lust?

I am a man.
100% male.
After I eat, drink and breathe, sex is craved.
Now honestly speaking. That is a task.
Especially trying to live life as a Christian single.



Historically, sex has been a dirty word or better yet an ignored word in the Body of Christ. Yet, millions of Christians struggle with this dynamic in life. If our thoughts were to be laid out on a table, you can bet *not that I am a gambling man* that sexual thoughts would crowd the table. In having conversations with Christian men and women, I can tell you that all of us struggle with this. If the truth were to be told, many of us would get married not because we have found somebody that we truly love and want to spend the rest of lives with. It would be so we could have sex. Which leads to the question, do we want love or lust? The body is wired in men to desire sex. Period. Ladies, you know the drill. Any guy who tells you that he isn't interested in having sex with you but a good wholesome relationship is lying. Now, do I believe that men and women can have plutonic relationships, sure. However, how many times do those boundaries get crossed through signals, signs, and thoughts? Men and women need to develop relationships with a purpose and that purpose must be communicated and followed through. I have heard sisters say "just be honest", "keep it real". Yeah right. That is about as good as the first two seconds it takes to say that and the next 5 seconds to hear it. We have to be honest with ourselves first of all. All this "make love to my mind" is poppycock. While mental stimulation is proper in courtship many men know whether or not they are serious with a potential mate. Too often, the sister gets played because she allows herself to get played. Words are powerful but actions speak volumes. Do not allow a man to spend a little cash and take you to a few sites to entice you into giving him something you cannot get back. Once you have done the deed, you cannot go back. I know women who sleep with a man and call that person their man and yet they have no jewelry on their finger, they have no reference point to stand on. If you not married, you are single. Period. I dont care how long you have been sexing the individual it is fornication at the end of the day. Then sisters get a date in their heads. If such and such doesn't marry me or give me a ring, then Im out. Out to where? Its self justification which only works in Soap Operas and sitcoms. While I hear many sisters lament that they want love, too often they find themselves entangled in lustful relationships with no direction. God meant sex for marriage but you have wrap your minds around what God wants and not what you think you need.


As a Christian man who is single. Im not perfect and I have slipped up. Yet, if we are not careful. Conviction will be felt less and less and less. Which is a dangerous area altogether. I had to reach a point where I had to ask myself the question, do I want love or lust? You have to set parameters, boundaries around your personal space and heart. Otherwise, you will be scratching your head, wondering how you found yourself in this predicament. If a person wants to please God, then you have to flee and resist the temptation. Sometimes you gotta run. Sometimes, a cold shower helps. Yet, like an elder once told me. Lust is like playing with a set of keys. You keep playing with it and eventually you will drop it, pick it up and search for a new way to play with them. You get bored with the initial playing and so you graduate to new ways to entertain yourself. You have to be honest with yourself. You know how much rope it will take to hang yourself. The idea is to not reach for that much rope. While grace will cover us it was never intended to be an excuse to sin. Where sin is, grace abounds. However, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound, God forbid. So brothers and sisters, I know they are cute and attractive but lust will keep you being blessed. God does not bless mess. Repent and return. There is no other way.

When the Bottom Falls Out... Part One

Black men where are you? Or better yet, what are you doing? It is almost 2010 and Black men are still under the scope. For the longest we have been told we are an endangered species. The statistics have shown that as many as one in four Black men are directly or indirectly supervised by the criminal court system. Statistics also show that one in twenty black males will die by way of homicide. Truthfully, as staggering as the statistics are. There is a hidden and deeper danger.

What we have witnessed before and since the 1995 Million Man March, has been an attack on Black males. This attacked was launched not from outsiders but unfortunately within. Now for some this will not be a shock and for others it will be. Black men historically have used defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from other Black men and Whites. One of those defense mechanisms is the idea of "cool". Being "cool" was a way to be popular and even mysterious. "Cool" embraced the idea of hyper sexuality and expression through a number of outwards appearances. Hence, Black men wearing earrings. A modern expression today would be tattoos. Now these expressions are ancient but carry many symbolic meanings. Historically, if one wants to study the journey of our people, one needs only to look at our music. I will deal with music in depth in the next blog. My objective in this blog is give an outline of a number of issues regarding Black men.

Music. The one thing our people have counted on and cherished in this nation. There is an enemy among us and that enemy is Hip Hop. Hip Hop started in New York City in the late seventies. One thing we know is that New York which is considered the mecca of Hip Hop as a culture, is also the place where many vices our people came to embrace. Namely, drugs which is on the surface is a pacifier. However, anyone who knows drugs from a esoteric or spiritual standpoint knows that they are occultic in nature. Vices were given to people in order to seduce them. The war in Vietnam knew all to well the power of opium. Many veterans came back to the states traumatized and addicted to Heroin. Music has been used in a similar way. Like I stated earlier we will deal with music in a greater way in the next blog.

Culture. Culture is powerful but very misleading. As we shall discover. Since Black people have been the victims of culture bandits through slavery and colonialism. Our people have tried to pick up the pieces of our humanity by bits and pieces. However, those bits and pieces many times have been detrimental to our humanity in general.

Acceptance. How is that in some of our communities that acceptance of failure is embraced and even celebrated? Our young men are caged in county, state and federal jails and are almost applauded. Many of the top commercial rappers are in jail or heading there. There is no disgust. No rebuke. Not even the proverbial scratching of the head. Then hip hop magazine journalists want to write articles and blogs about the "attack on hip hop". Our people have to learn that jail is not a place to be. It should be expressed to the people that jail is the place where they put you when you do not know how to behave. It is basically the grown folks "time-out". Felonies are hard to cope with when you are poor. Many apartment properties will not even rent to a felon. Companies do not make it a practice to hire felons. This forces many convicted felons to go back to life or practice of crime they found themselves in originally. The idea of more of our Black men are in prison than in college is a crying shame. While I will be the first to admit that college is not always the answer for everyone, I do know that education of some form whether trade school or specialized training is better than minimum wage and criminal activity.

Parenting. I could write a book on parenting alone. Reportedly 70 percent of Black households are headed by a single parent. Unfortunately, I am apart of this statistic. I have a 12 year old daughter I am raising. I was married at one point and took care of 3 children that belonged to my ex-wife. That was very hard on a number of levels. A friend of mine and I once talked about how unnatural it felt to raise children that are not your own. While I do know that love conquers all, it is challenging to say the least. Teenagers and young adults are getting pregnant at high rates. The fathers of these children tend to disappear. Whether it is because of a scorned lover or just the irresponsibility of the parent can be debated. However, it has become common place to where it is not something of a big deal to see a teenager with a protruding stomach awaiting to give birth to a child that the tax payers of the nation will have to support. While the mentality of some look at WIC and food stamps as being free. Anybody with sense knows that in America there is nothing free. One of my biggest pet peeves is to see a child with runny noses and appearance unkept while the "mothers" of these children walk around with fake designer purses and nice hair dos. Go to your local supermarket and see it everyday. It leaves me fuming. Where is the father? Instead our communities are filled with sperm donors with no education, no integrity, no sense of responsibility. We wear the name brands of many millionaires and yet we cannot find enough dough to feed, clothe, and house our children.

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Okay... Im done venting. I guess you ask what can be done? I honestly don't know. I don't have a one fix all solution. Personal responsibility of course must be taken. Yet, when the bottom completely falls out as it has. You have children raising themselves, killing one another, raping their grandmothers, raping young girls to the hooting and hollering of a crowd. As I have read the news lately, Im going to be honest. The bottom has fell out literally. Our community is at a crossroad. We are either going to live like we are supposed to live or die slowly in 25 to 30 years. Every generation seems to get sicker and sicker. Yet, this young generation that is coming up has seen war, aids, poverty, like never before. We are literally in a falling state. Nobody is crying. Instead we pay money to networks like BET and VH1 to laugh about it. Killing is big business and business right now is good. We are dying mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically and characteristically. Too bad its only the beginning of sorrows. Yeah I am saying, we have not seen anything yet. It is going to get worse. Nevermind we have a Black president in the White House. While that is to be celebrated and admired. President Obama cannot save a generation of Black children. That is our job and we are failing miserably. I only have two words left. Personal Responsibility.

Caged Masculinity

I am trapped in a cage of masculinity.
Wrapped in chains appearing in invisibility.
Tortured by the thought that I have be strong.
Not realizing what I thought was strong,
was so wrong.

To be hugged by my father was not commonplace.
Yet, even today there's barely a trace.
Knowing that he was not hugged himself.
Caused him to transfer this burden of wealth.
"Fix your face, boy dont cry"
All the time my spirit mourns silently
asking "Why?"

I have never understood the opposite sex.
It caused me to have toxic relationships and expect.
Love dont love nobody and who's gonna love me.
If love dont mean nothing and especially if I am not free.
The best things in life are free.
Then why do I suffer cost continually?

With God's help I have been able to heal.
Take the emotions and wisdom I hold and feel,
with the right mindset and perspective.
To have balance is my one objective.
Be strong, but not be ashamed of my tears.
Be faithful, though i have failed over the years.
Be sensitive when I want to be cold.
Be vibrant in all things and love bold.

I just want to be a man,
and not be defined by things.
Especially my masculinity and all the tradition it brings.


Richard J Wright (2009)

Come and See a Man

Somebody tell me when was the last time
you saw a real man?
One who is confident and does more than he can.
He may be poor financially but rich in character traits.
He may not be a model and a tad bit overweight.
He may be quiet and reserve than most.
He may be speak with a southern drawl but what is spoken
comes directly from the Holy Ghost.

He doesn't sag his jeans or wear ball caps.
He doesn't talk trash or look like he raps.
He doesn't practice looking cool, tough and all hard.
He just knows who he is.
He could never be mistaken for a fraud.
He doesn't have a lot of jewelry or cars that vary.
Instead he takes pride in his own library.

Intelligensia, Integrity, Independent are the only I's he claims.
His selflessness and labor is never in vain.
Silly women find him boring but its because they dont know.
A real man when he is seen doesn't need to show.
His muscles, his heart, he is always in control.
He cares for people, their purpose and their souls.

The woman at the well, saw Him.
Do you see Him too?
He could be an uncle, a cousin or nephew.
He could be a husband, or a preacher.
He could be an officer or maybe a teacher.
So many people are searching for Him,
but He is always there.
You can find Him in people's hearts,
He has always been there.
While man looks on the outside,
God sees the heart.
So why don't you look with God's vision in part?

Ladies dont miss your blessing looking with your natural eyes.
Brothers dont miss your blessing because you fail to realize.
Ministers, Mentors, mighty men of God.
Are all around you, if you look real hard.
How can a young boy grow up to be a man,
if he never saw one.
Understand?
So perhaps you should go on a field trip and search for such a man.
For such a man is more than what is expected and...
Seek his knowledge and wisdom for they are not his to have alone.
A real man knows his purpose for it is apart of being grown.
Age is only a number, but maturity is key.
For a man craves it, for that makes a man complete and totally free.
He learns, He earns, He helps, He cares. He creates.
He is simply a man who serves His heavenly Father.
Will you see him or not even be bothered.

Richard J Wright

The Cost of Moving Spiritual Things with Your Flesh

II Samuel 6:1-7

Again David gathered together all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand. And David arose and went with all the people that were with him from Baale of Judah, to bring up from thence the ark of God, whose name is called by the name of the LORD of Hosts that dwelleth between the cherubims. And they set the ark of God upon a new cart, and brought it out of the house of Abinadab that which was in Gibeah: and Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, drove the new cart. And they brought it out of the house of Abinadab which was at Gibeah, accompanying the ark of God: and Ahio went before the ark. And David and all the house of Israel played before the LORD on all manner of instruments made of fir wood, even on harps, and on psalteries, and on timbrels, and on cornets, and on cymbals. And when they came to Nachon's threshingfloor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the ark of God, and took hold of it; for the oxen shook it. And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.


The story above talks about how a man who was trying to keep the ark of God from falling off the cart it was placed on. For his apparent trouble, he was killed by God. Why? Simply put, it was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Only the priests were commanded to handle the ark and they had to carry it with poles. God instituted this in the law. However, a seemingly harmless gesture cost Uzzah his life.

How do we handle the things of God? Sometimes if the truth were to be told. We can be and are found too often neglectful. There are two dynamics in this universe, carnality and spirituality. Period. Man operates in one or both. The trouble is when a person is trying to handle godly things with a carnal mindset, confusion can take place. Uzzah was trying to do a good thing. He was trying to help but God smote him in spite of. How many times have you and I tried to do a good thing with the wrong motives? If we are not careful we can find ourselves right there. Online it amazes me how people can say something about God and curse in the same sentence let alone the same paragraph. You and I cannot handle God, His laws and His ways haphazardly. It is dangerous. It can cause stumbling blocks and make us hypocrites at the same time. In church we serve and yet sometimes in our service we find ourselves not consecrated. We want to hang out at night clubs or do foolish things then turn around on Sunday mornings and tell God how much we love Him. God gave us some food for thought. He says "If you love me, keep my commandments". Basically we can conclude that if we dont keep His commandments, then we dont love him.

How many times have you heard someone say, "God knows my heart". Usually this someone who has fell away from congregating with the people of God. Unfortunately, too many people have been burned by terrible instances in church and it causes people to leave. I teach and tell people all the time that Christ established the church and there is no salvation outside of that. While, people debate that you do not need to go to church to be saved. It should be noted that baptism and repentence only takes place at the house of God. People who read their bibles and pray and dont go to church dont realize that we are supposed to point people to the cross and the cross and gospel is only proclaimed in the very thing Christ Himself established, the church. How shall they believe in whom they do not know? How shall they hear without a preacher? You cannot. So while ministry takes place in and outside the church, it is only as good as the vessel carrying the gospel. The vessel must be prepared and can only be prepared by the word of God through diligent study. Too many people are trying to serve God outside His parameters that He set forth. Though grace covers us and God isn't quick to smite us for our errors, we should be thoughtful concerning His word and our desire to follow His perfect will for our lives. Uzzah was not appointed to the priesthood and was not authorized to handle God's ark. God wanted to show David that we can not get so happy and celebratory to where He will operate outside His word. Thank God for grace, for without it, all of us could wind up like Uzzah.

Richard J Wright

Back To the Drawing Board

I read somewhere once person said that a Black man should get his butt kicked at least once a decade. I guess the point made was that you should never get too big for your britches like my mama used to say. Failing tends to give you that kick in the butt. I have failed several times. I personally have lost count. Yet, with each failure is an opportunity to learn a great lesson. Simply put, when you fail, you just go back to the proverbial drawing board. There is nothing wrong with starting over. With a new year looming in the horizon. All sorts of thoughts about what people want to do and will do in the next year. However, it is important to think about and even begin to function as if the new year is already here.

Relationships seemed to be the place of failure too often. Lord knows I have had my share. I have learned that when people start backing up its best to back away from them as well. Now dont misunderstand me. I said back up, not leave. Sometimes people will give you the very thing you need. Whether its space, food for thought or whatever. You just flow with it. People that pursue often are met with frustration and anxiety. I dont want to be one of those people. It doesnt necessarily mean you have failed but it just tells you where you are really with people.

In my life, I have some soul searching to do. I have some interests that I need to seek in a greater way. Simply put, I gotta get busy. For me getting busy means going back to the drawing board and reconstruct a new plan. Tony Dungy once said that a goal without a plan is only a wish. Im tired of wishing. Therefore, its back to the drawing board.

I want to get closer to God. Seriously, I have fell off the wagon. Yes, I still love God. Yes, I serve at my church but I need to know Him in a greater way. I feel personally that if I get to know the Creator of life in a deeper way, then His creation and His creatures will not baffle me as much as they do. 2010 for me will be a year of focus on Him. Yes, I would like to get married. Yes, I would like to continue my writing in a greater way. Yet, I realize that my blessing lies with God and God alone. He has my future and all in it in His hands. Instead of seeking what's in His hands, I will do my best to seek His face. I gotta start over. Hell is too hot and eternity is too long to be wrong.

Let the composition begin... again.

Richard J Wright

My City, Houston, Texas

I have not written a blog about my city. That city being Houston, Texas. Or as we like to call it clutch city or screwton, texas. Yeah, its the city of syrup and candy paint. Yet, it is a whole lot more. So much more. The summers are brutal, 90 percent humidity. We wear the heat down here. Yet, the fall and winter weather is so good. Hard to believe sometimes. Right now we are coasting at about 75 degrees on average. Lows in the lower 50s. Not bad. Not bad at all. So, why do people move or live in Houston? Well, truthfully it is the money.

The money down here is sick. Texas is home to several fortune 500 companies. More than any state. Check the stats. It is one of the cheapest metropolitan cities to live in. A million dollar home in Houston would cost about 5 to 10 million in LA or New York. Remember Hurricane Katrina? Almost 150,000 people from New Orleans live Houston. You'd think we would be crowded. Not at all. Many of the people have jobs and homes right here in the city now. Many people move here because of the opportunities. Many people from Chicago live here. Go to any Astros Cubs game and you will see them representing the loveable losers.

Now traffic is ridiculous. You need a car in Houston. Yes we have public transportation. Yet, a 30 minute car ride equals to about a 2 and half hour commute by bus. We are spread out. Houston is the fourth largest city in America. Truthfully, we have probably passed Philadephia but no one is saying it. Basically, 3.5 million people call Houston home. If you can get passed the crazy traffic on any freeway, whether its 59, I-10, 290, 610 or 45, living here isnt that bad. With any major city, we have crime and lots of it. However, the good outweighs the bad by a long shot.

In Houston there is a lot to do. We have a theater and museum district that is second to none. Athletics are king, especially friday night high school football. Not to mention the Texans, Astros, Rockets and Dynamo teams. Golf courses are prevalent. Parks and recreation are superior. We have a nice city. As far as education, we have many colleges and universities. There is U of H, TSU which is a HBCU. (historically Black Colleges and Universities) and dont forget the Harvard of the South, Rice University. Yep, we got it going on. As far as churches, we are home to the largest church in America. Lakewood. Need I say more? As far food goes, take your pick. Creole, southern, Italian, Mexican, Greek, etc. We have the weight to prove its the spot. LOL

I cannot forget the surrounding suburban cities like Kingwood, Sugarland, Pearland, Missouri City and others who are close by. The diversity of our city is amazing. All continents are represented with their own respective flavors and communities. Yep, H-Town is the city. I encourage you to stop by if you are ever here. There is something for everyone because truthfully, everyone lives here. Whether they are transplants or native Houstonians, you would be hard pressed to find a city with more to do. Outside New York and Los Angeles, there isnt a city greater. Yep, I can brag. Its Houston, clutch city baby!