Whats Going On Tonight

Well, If the Good LORD says the same, I will be at church bringing in the New Year. I have been in the House of God for New Years Eve, since 2002. God has been good to me and I am thankful for His many blessings over my life. I have struggled quite a bit this year. I made some good strides and some bad decisions. Yet, God has seen fit for me to see another year.

A co-worker of mine passed out fliers for a new years eve bash. I told a friend at my job that I would really like to go. He told me, "you never come by". Yet, it is with reason. When you understand that God has blessed you tremendously, you understand that He is worthy to be praised and honored. I love my co-workers but I love my God and His body a lot more.

So, while the champagne is flowing in some places, and the dancefloors packed in others. I will bless God because when i couldnt drink champange or dance He was right there. He is awesome and because of that. I will be in His house on tonight. Whereever you find yourself tonight, take a minute and stop and think on the goodness of God. Think about what He brought you through, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and even socially. So dont lift your glass tonight, but lift your hands in praise.

Looking Back at '09 for the Last Time

Well, Initially I thought I would put this out friday, but after some thought. I decided not too. I wanted to think about this year and look at the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent. Listed below, will be some of the highlights of this year for me personally.

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT THIS YEAR
Surviving.
NEXT GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT
Graduating with my MBA.

FAILURE OF THE YEAR.
No promotion at work.
NEXT FAILURE.
Not Publishing Visions of Heaven on time, which is my 2nd book.

BEST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
Avatar
NEXT TO BEST MOVIE I SAW.
This Is It

WORST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
Drag Me to Hell
NEXT WORST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
Crank 2

BEST EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR
Graduation Ceremony at University of Phoenix
NEXT TO BEST EXPERIENCE
Meeting Darlene

WORST NEWS I GOT THIS YEAR
My ex-wife got married.
NEXT TO WORST NEWS
Michael Jackson passing away

MY "MAN, I WISH I HAD DONE THAT DIFFERENT" MOMENT
I didnt save money like I should have really this year.

MY NEXT TO "MAN, I WISH I HAD DONE THAT DIFFERENT" MOMENT
Moving into the townhome im in. I wish I could have stayed where I was in retrospect, it was a dumb move.

BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR FOR ME
Fall
WORST SEASON OF THE YEAR FOR ME
Summer

HARDEST LESSON LEARNED THIS YEAR
Betrayal happens. Get over it.

BEST LESSON LEARNED THIS YEAR
You have a lot to do with your destiny.


'09 was filled with a lot of high points and low points. It was a tough year. 2010 will have its own challenges as well I'm sure. Yet, I am excited. I know 2010 will be a great year. I am praying that it is a year of greater accomplishments and a greater year of service.

I have already stated that I will not post my goals for 2010 because I feel I need to just be about it and not talk it up so much. I will only say, just look for great things from me as well as yourself. Build up the momentum and soar. I will be right there with you to celebrate, minister, encourage and build. LETS DO THIS THING TOGETHER. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Black Single Women

Black women are having a tough time finding suitable mates among the brothers. If you think this going to be one of those blogs where I bash Black woman, you are sadly mistaken. Instead, I have to be realistic and sympathetic to the plight of our women. Many feel they have no choice but to date outside the race. It is what it is. Now, standards are an issue and truthfully it is a real concern. Black women should not settle. However, the question is what does it mean to not settle?

Some Black women find themselves making questionable decisions based upon their past. Those sisters tend to go through dysfunctional relationship, one after the other. These sisters many times are not educated nor possess an attractive job. Just based upon their education, their choices in men are limited. Now, when you deal with a sister who has the all the education and career goals accomplished. What does a brother do to attract that sister? Many Black men do not have the jobs or the education. So, its a question of investment. Will Black men invest in their future to ensure they find a mate; One that isnt always in the clubs, one that is not working at McDonalds, one that isnt stuck in the hood mentally. One that is looking for thug passion from a thug. Basically, Black men share similar problems. We dont want to marry someone who may or might cheat on us or make our lives full of drama.

I asked a good friend of mine how she feels about the pool available to her. I ask if she would date potential. Now this sister is gorgeous. Has a MBA. Corporate job. She's high maintenance to a certain degree. Yet, she is down to earth. We talked today briefly about how she feels about the Black men available to her. She actually said that she felt she had found someone and that she was fortunate. Now, will it lead to marriage, right now the hardware is not to be found on her finger. And, yes she has set a deadline. Which as of this date is rapidly approaching.

So, while it can be said that Black women are being challenged in this area, it can be said that there are successes. Black women maybe dating outside the race, Black women may feel the pool is shrinking. However, Black women are still marrying Black men and want to marry Black men. As long as that is the case, that ray of hope will shine. As Steve Harvey alluded to in the video, many of our gender failed to grasp the real concept of family in this generation. Yet, he said from the outset that there are some good Black men out here and they are. I happen to be one of them.

I am a single father. I am a Black man. I love God. I love Black women. I have a MBA. Yet, I dont have that "corporate job" yet. Despite this economy, I cannot expect nothing to be handed to me. Whether that is a job making a high five or six figures or a even the hand of a sister in marriage. I have to work for it all. I have issues but those issues I struggle with do not have me. And yes, I had to work to get it to be that way. So for single Black men, I say this to you. Be encouraged, work hard, have faith, and pursue excellence. As I like to say from time to time. Love comes around, it finds a way. To my single sisters, I say this to you. Be encouraged, work hard, have faith and yes pursue excellence. We as a people have to think as one. The message to both genders concerning marriage and love should be and is the same. Love comes around, it finds a way.

I just wanna thank you.

Dear SO and SO and SO,

I wanna thank you for all that you do.
Whether you know it or not,
you all make a difference in my life.
Whether your motives are pure or not,
it really doesn't matter.
What matters is that you care enough,
to say something or do something to me.
Some would call you haters,
I call you misunderstood.
I call you misled.
I call you disturbed.
While I could ask you personally,
why such thoughts toward me,
I know you think, that I think,
you love me.
You would be right.
I do love you,
each of you.
I will love you close
and I will love you from afar.
I wish you well.
Whether I call you a friend or an enemy,
it doesn't matter.
I will always love you.

Sincerely Yours.

The object of your ridicule, the object of your jealousy, the object of your affection.

Sending A Blessing

A good person sent this e-mail to me, I thought it was a blessing and I wanted to share it with you.

Psalm 55:22 --- you really need to read this.
"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

This was written by a Metro Denver Hospice Physician:


I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a Gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay


When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.


At that moment, everything came into
focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me."


I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.


She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City . Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They live in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.


So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or something?"


This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people."

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.


Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...

Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."


My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, especially for the months left in 2009, and I picked you.

Please pass this to four people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me. I sent it to twenty-five people.
Here is the prayer:


"Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends, relatives and e-mail buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace, In Jesus ' precious name. Amen."


I know I picked more than four -- you can, too.
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, " Jesus , could You please get that for me.

Motivation 2010

I have seen too much drama in this year. I cried more this year than anyone I can remember. I saw some success personally, so over all it was a roller coaster ride. One thing is for sure, 2010 is and will be an incredible year. Trials will come, hard decisions will be made. Yet, my family and I will be better for it all. I have a number of goals Im shooting for. I am not even gonna list them. Yet, I will reveal them as I reach them. I dont want to look back at 2010 this time next year and be discouraged. Not 2010. Im not some next level experience. Yall gonna need a jet to catch me. I promise.

I dont know what to think

Have someone ever told you something and you didnt really know whether to believe them or not. Recently, I was told something that led me to not really believe them. This of course was based upon my history with this person. This person even told me that any possible relationship we could have is almost impossible due to an issue of trust. That is an under statement. Trust this point isn't even an issue. Sometimes damage is not repairable. You basically have to rebuild from the bottom up. Risky. Very risky.

Now, personally speaking I have to weigh the cost of taking the risk. On the surface, it just isnt worth it. I love this person, yet this person isnt worth the risk. Why? Basically because i dont know what to think. I know that the history we shared is incredible but this one thing that I cannot ignore. I dont know what to think. My heart has made some questionable decisions in the past. Yet, I feel that making this one is quite the paradox. How can I trust and put my faith in someone who has shown nothing less than betrayal and self motives? Plus, it is my guess that the green grass is found out to be astro turf.

In relationships people are motivated not by the right thing but what they feel. I dont know what to think. Especially about this situation. I want to believe them. I really do. Yet, that would be foolish. And for me. I cannot do foolish. I dont know what to think but it definitely aint foolish. It is what it is. People are a trip.

Paining

In my heart its raining.
Through my laughter I smile but its paining.
My memories are filled with pain,
Like New Edition I cant stand the rain.
But the rain falls,
and words call,
my expressions are plastered on the wall.
Sometimes I sleep,
most times I dont.
They say they love me,
but their actions wont,
convince me cause I have seen a lot of pain.
Not physically but mentally and its always a strain.

You know life aint fair,
and no one cares,
they say they there
but they really not there.
Cuz if they there,
then they would be here.
Its what you do
thats crystal clear.
Not what you say
cuz those are just words.
Seldom spoken in truth
when love is a verb.
Im just paining.

So I sit alone,
cry alone,
and nine times outta ten
I'll die alone.
Who really cares?
Only God,
so when you say you do,
its really hard
to take your words as sincere,
if you really cared then you'd be here.
I try to be there for those around.
But just like Bobby said
nobody wants you when you down.
Im just paining.

Richard J Wright (2009)

These Tears

In my life I have seen the obscene,
played out in on the big screen,
in and out of consciousness I day dream.
What's man to do,
when he feels alone?
Does he pick up the phone
and call a friend?
Who's in just as much pain,
body wrecked by sin?
I hide my emotions in the rain.
For what do I gain,
when I go against the grain?
My heart maintains it wants to be in love,
but my mind is a bully when it shoves,
all foolish ideas aside.
I rather kill my pride
than to know my life lied.
So I sit aside the road
and admire the parade and charades,
of what love became lost and what hate made.
I rather ride in a Cadillac Escalade,
on the seawall,
and ignore it all.
Allowing Bach to sooth my soul,
pursue my goals,
and play my roles.
While these tears fall.
Roll like a ball
to a slow crawl.
Ignoring the faces,
oblivious to the places.
For my mind runs like the wind,
and swims viciously like a shark fin.
Yet, still the whole time.
I unwind while I climb
Everest for the umpteenth time.
Yet in the valley,
I quietly move along.
Remain silent and calm.
While I wipe these tears,
from my childhood years.

Richard J Wright (2008)

If You Could Pick My Brain

If you could pick my brain,
you might slip on a stain.
Holding on barely to the train.
But it wants to go off the track,
I gotta pray to get it back.
And if I get it back in place,
I just look behind and see the waste,
whether it was tears or a sad face,
It will take CSI or Cold case,
to face the book or hide in my space.

If you could pick my brain,
would you desire to learn,
or grill it like Hannibal Lecter,
Did you see the specter?
He been following me, since I was a tot.
He used to masquerade as a imaginary friend,
Now he sits at the table and pretends.
He like most negroes, only comes around me when,
things are swell and the money aint thin.

If you could pick my brain,
there somethings I just cannot explain.
Like when I'm happy I still feel the pain.
They say dont worry be happy,
So I be happy and I gotta hurry,
because before I know it, here comes the worry.
Its a constant battle with myself,
I pray God hears the heart
because sometimes God moves like stealth.
And I swear just a minute ago I was by myself.
Then He shows up and shows out,
I cant take credit for all He is about.

If you could pick my brain,
I could tell you some thangs,
then it might leave you saying... dang
How deep? past the ocean floor
Shoot the devil moved out next door.
But I rather fly high than be deep.
Cause its there the idle mind sleep.
Keep it simple, ask me things like Obama,
my daughter, my dreams or even about my mama.
Other than that you might get a case of duality,
multiple messages in one word
come follow meh.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Early Morning Musings...

...Sitting here watching Chinese Super Ninjas for the umpteenth time.

...Thinking of a way to ask AJ to go out on a date.

...Wondering if I will ever get to publish VOH. Its overdue. Sheesh.

...Pondering if moving to a cheaper place will put more money in my pocket.

...Lamenting about being alone for Christmas.

...Laughing at the Cowboys beating the Saints. Monday will be a trash talking session at with Cowboy fans.

...Worrying that I will never get to use this MBA I earned to work.

When Niggas Get Wake Up Calls.

Malcolm X once remarked "what do you call a Black man with a Ph.D? Nigger"
The great comedian Paul Mooney once joked about Black men getting nigger wake up calls. Micheal Jackson. O.J. Simpson. and now... wait for it. Wait For It.
Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods has made the front page of the New York Times 20 days in a row. That is more than 9/11.

What these men have in common, Micheal Jackson, O.J., and Tiger Woods. They have been not only linked to white women but they share a distinct thought that they somehow were not Black. O.J. had a white wife which he murdered allegedly. Michael Jackson married a white woman and once sang "it doesnt matter if you are Black or White" Tiger Woods calls himself Cablasian.

Well... To white people they all were thought of as not Black but niggers. Tiger with his billion dollars has been raked over the coals something fierce. Would this happen to a white golfer? Probably not. While each of these men have and had tremendous amounts of wealth, it has not stopped white people from having some disdain for them. Tiger is probably the most hated golfer not because of his race but because of his incredible game. He has conquered a sport largedly played and adored by whites. That isnt going sit well with some whites. Now that he is down, he is getting the business something awful. He probably still believes that he is "cablasian" but dude they really see as a nigger, especially now. While whites in the media will not dare "go there", (talking about race). We in the Black community know what it is. Yes, Tiger like it or not you are being reminded that America still has a problem with race and you are causing more static than Jack Johnson is his heyday. You have receieved the wake up call. Dont worry... Your people still love you. Even though you deny your Blackness. Our Blackness will not deny you. Now you can put down the phone and move forward.

My Love Affair with Black Women

Black Women.
Umph, Umph, Umph.
I love Black women. I am a visual person and basically I watch and study Black woman all day long. Now, visually, Black women appeal to me. What's not to like about Black women? Emotionally, they are a roller coaster ride. They know how to take you high into the clouds and drop you low to the ocean floor. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, (if thats what you into) lol. Intellectually, I find them amazing, profound, and they make me laugh until it hurts. When I think of Black women, I think of the Black women in my life in way or another. So Im going to share with you some of the Black woman I have loved, admire, respect and believe in.

1. My mother. She's the big bird of my life. In fact, that is her nick name given to her by one of her sisters, Bird. Amazing woman, always have a laugh stashed away for a rainy day. Will give you tough love when you need it. My fiercest advocate. You mess with me and mama will get you. lol

2. My grandparents Johnnie Mae and Hattie Mae. Awesome women. God bless their souls. I only had them for a season and miss them more as I grow older. One was a real grinder. Johnnie owned an apartment complex, she was a licensed hair dresser, she cleaned office buildings at night... (all at the same time.. real talk) The other Hattie was a that mama who had visitors at her home every day. I learned to love Al Green because of this amazing woman. Very sweet.

3. My teachers Ms Smith, second grade. Beautiful woman, retired but serves faithfully at her church. Ms. Miller, sixth grade, first woman I knew who loved God openly and would sing at the drop of a hat. Ms. Blake. OMG 10th grade, first teacher I had a crush on. God she was beautiful.. still is. Saw her recently out shopping.

4. Teresa. The first girl who ever liked me. Kindergarten, she always shared her cookies with me. (yeah I remember the first girl who ever loved me)

5. Candie. My first real girlfriend. Yep. High yellow with big brown eyes. Jeri curl. Dont laugh. She was Ms. Universe far as I was concerned.

6. Erica. My homegirl from the hood. Still tight to this day. I have known her since the late 70s. Has the best pair of lips I have seen on a woman. High powered. High maintenance. Very sexy and funny. Masters degrees and the whole nine. A very good woman. Definitely my sister and confidant for life.

7. Christina. My other homegirl from the hood. Crazy as all outdoors. I have known her since the early 80s. I love her dearly. My sister for life.

8. Wendy. My baby's mother. Will always love her because she gave me Ashley.

9. Ashley. My one and only daughter. Reminds me of her mother and my grandmothers. She has an old woman soul. A jewel sent from God.

10. Denea. My first wife. Taught me many things. We have an incredible history. Regardless of our divorce. She has a special place in my heart.

11. Angela. My homegirl. Raised in the bloody nickel. Sweet as pie. We will always be friends because we both love God, have children and try not to go crazy in this life. You need friends you can share and pray for and with.

12. Crystal. Amazing sister. Went to school together at undergrad. Sharp as a tack. Easy on the eye. We always clashed at school over relationships, work, but at the end of the day, I love her like a sister. She's a ride or die chick. Her hubby is a lucky man.

13. Lynette. Too funny. Worked with her more than anyone at undergrad. A good natured sister who has a bright future. We still tight.

14. Tally. Amazing sister. Showed me lots of love when I was going through my divorce. Very supportive. Great networker. You dont find too many sisters like that. She is a jewel in my life. She's the big sister in my world. Men need big sisters in life.

15. Muze. Amazing writer. A cool chick from Detroit. Makes words taste like M&Ms. Plus she's a dime. Very funny as well. I admire her craft. She is going to blow up. Im sure of it.

16. My First Lady. Amazing woman of God. She's a practical and spiritual teacher. Very meek but definitely motherly in her approach. She's from New Rochelle, NY. She is very methodical and caring. One of my other mothers.

17. Mama Yancy. Neighborhood mom from back in the day. Watched me grow up. She is very sweet. I love her so much. I know she prayed for me. Somethings you dont have to even think about. That much I know.

18. Elder Moore. One of my church mothers. Awesome woman of God. Very sweet and encouraging. Men need women like that. I am blessed to know her.


These are just some of the women in my life. There are many more. Yet, these women above I can say have made a difference in my life in one way or another. I love all of these of women unashamedly. They are etched in my mind and heart. Each one providing a spice or additive to the man I am and hope to be. Some are closer to me than others but they are Black women and I love them all.

Taking Inventory

Its good to count your blessings. Sometimes one needs to just take inventory of one's life and meditate on that. While the retailers are shaking in their boots over what will probably be a mediocre spending season, you and I should take the time to just remember not only what the reason for the season is, (Jesus, by the way) we should be looking forward to a new year and new adventures. I am going to give you a sneak peek into what 2010 means for me.

1. Health Yes, I need to knock some weight off. See a dentist. Incorporate a better diet.

2. Money. I need some more of it. Whether it comes from a new job or a leaner budget, i gotta have more of it.

3. Ministry. This past year has been one of my weakest in terms of ministry accomplishments. This cannot be the case in 2010.

4. Relationships. Yeah, Im gotta shake some people and add others to the mix. A few of my friends are in for a rude awakening.

5. Keeping pace with life itself. Being proactive instead of reactive.

6. Have more fun. Life is too short.

7. Add a new hobby or two. Time to diverse my portfolio.

Wishing This Holiday

Im wishing this holiday
that you would be near me.
Snuggling underneath a Christmas Tree.
Looking deep into your eyes,
while the lights twinkle.
Giggling and humming a favorite Christmas song.
Wishing the night would last very long.
I share a secret and perhaps a tear,
thinking about the struggles of the past year.
Just someone to talk to would be nice.
No presents or stocking stuffers will suffice.
Your presence alone is all I require.
While listen to the crackling of a newly lit fire.
To hold your hand and kiss your lips,
would take me places an airplane couldn't trip.
Alas, its a fantasy in this time of year.
For it is you I am wishing for in this season of cheer.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Finding Love

Love.
Four little letters that mean so much and yet hard to obtain and hold. I am in an interesting position. I want love in my life. Yet, my search has been futile. Today I was working and saw an elderly couple walking hand in hand. I say to myself. "Man, why cant I have that?"

Recently, I felt shaken by the thought that I might die single. That is not cool. I look at people in my life and I am pissed at the fact that so many people have love, yet I dont. I hear people complain about their spouses and yet, I remind them that being in my shoes is no cigar.

Do you know what its like to hear love songs playing on the radio and have no one to think of when you hear them? Its like you are an alien. I thought I had a girlfriend but she's not thinking about me like that, for now. I guess I have one to many issues. LORD knows Im far from perfect. To say it didnt hurt my feelings would be a lie. While she desires to be in my life, its not something she is willing to commit too at this point.

I just want to have love in my life. Is that so bad? Am I not worthy of love? I hear stuff like "oh you are a great guy" "oh you are so considerate and nice" Blah Blah Blah. All of its nice stuff but it doesnt sooth my yearning heart. Its hard to be strong when you are incomplete. Now, I dont believe that I need a woman to make me complete but I know the value of a good woman in your life. Therefore, it is something I truly desire.

Truth is, I hate dating. All the time put in to find out this person aint the one. There is a chill in the air and I dont like it. My heart is starting to feel cold out here. All of its perplexing to my mind. Im hurting and no one is there to sooth this feeling. I get tired of people complaining about having some one. Try living alone without someone. Try going to bed a night with nothing but a pillow to hold. Try going weekend after weekend unsure what to do. I used to go to movies alone but now I hate it. I rarely go now. Why must it be so hard? All this confusion because im having a tough time finding love.

The Emptiness of a Broken Heart

My emotions
motion my mind.
To chain my heart,
to a small place.
Somewhere quiet and safe.
Though I stand and look like an ordinary man.
Laughing and poking fun at my friends.
Somewhere inside of me.
I am just a little boy,
clutching my teddy bear.
Rocking back and forth
shaking my head in grief.
I imagine an Angel of the Lord
cradling myself while I am in pain.
In this darkness,
it rains.
I speak and groan
in a language unknown.
All the while I work,
I read and I study.
Yet, inside I have nothing.
Though I know God is with me,
all I feel is the
nothingness of a broken heart.

In a state of flux

So much is going on with me and around me. I am kinda overwhelmed by it all. Now, being a Christian, sometimes you get to a point where your faith becomes shaken, whether it is by your doing or not. At that point, it does not help matters if you stay there. Im going to continue to blog but Im taking a breather from writing. This next project has me in a state of flux and i really need to focus on it. I lost a third book when my PC crashed. Right now, Im taking things slow and spending the rest of the holiday season reading. Im currently reading two books. Which isnt bad since I have been known to read mags, comics, books, the bible simultanously. Right now im chilling. 2010 is right around that corner. I gotta get my hustle up. Its crunch time.

Times Like These...

You know nothing hits harder than life. Right now, things are in an air of question. So many questions and not enough answers. Im trying to stay positive through it all. I am not excited about Christmas at all. Money isnt right, the relationship I thought I had is now questionable at best. I spent thanksgiving alone, Christmas will be the same most likely and the only reason I will be with people for New Years Eve is because I will be at church. Its been a crazy year. I hope 2010 is better because its been rough. Being single makes me just want to be alone at times. I wanna sit and listen to some jazz and zone out. Im finding out more and more that all I have in this world is God. Thank God because otherwise I would go completely crazy. Im not a happy camper right about now. Times like these make you just want to hide.

Love dont live here Anymore

Man. Just when I thought I had someone. They pull the plug. Well. Life Happens.
I guess, there is nothing more to do than to recognize and realize. My heart deserves better. Aint nothing else to be said.

Talk about a rough day...

Yesterday, I came home found my computer on the blink. Not good. In fact, it basically crashed. I got the same stupid message after reboot after reboot after reboot. Eventually, I came to the conclusion after going through several screens of safe mode variables that my PC basically bit the dust. There was only one choice, recovery. Recovery sucks because basically you lose all your files. For me, one particular file hurt more than the others. My 3rd book. Fortunately, I have already submitted my manuscript for my second release. Thank God. Yet, Its like starting all over again. Not cool. Yet, it is what is it and there is no use in crying over spilled milk.

What My Christmas Will Be Like This Year... Most Likely

Ah Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
This time of the year is always full of cheer...
Yeah right. Yes thats right folks, I got my grinch suit on and im kicking some cheery behind. Bah Humbug. I wish Jacob Marley would send three negroes from the past, present and future to scare me into being cheerful about a commercialized holiday. Bah Humbug.

Any way...

What will my Christmas be like? Probably uneventful. Dinner. A present or two. Maybe a movie. Another lonely Christmas. Somebody slap Prince upside the head for writing such a stupid song. Okay... that last glass of haterade got me tripping. I look forward to Christmas. More than anything, I will try to focus on the birth of my savior, Jesus. He is the REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON!

When You Cant Reach Yesterday

Yesterday is calling,
but Im stalling for time.
Knowing no matter how I feel,
I cannot rewind.
To the days of sweet love making,
bed breaking and sheet shaking.
It all left me with a heart aching.


Still, yesterday is calling.
Dare i pick up the phone,
knowing even now I am so alone.
Its like a ghost scratching at my jones.
To hear her call my name,
wash me in ectasy,
pouring lighter fluid on the flame.

Yet, I cannot not answer such a call.
For such a call does not make me whole,
It can only cause me to fall.
Back in love, back in lust,
back in pain, back in trust.
Oh, this old foolish heart of mine,
So eager to press rewind.

Yet, it is a path I cannot go.
No matter how much she tries to show.
That she still cares,
That she still is aware that I love her.
Instead I hold onto the only place i can hide.
My misguided and foolish pride.
It is the only place where the skies are not gray.
It is the only place to go,
when you cant reach yesterday.

Richard J Wright (2009)

I Wish...

I wish that she would love me,
or at least tell me.
Perhaps, the seed she gave me,
will one day become a tree.
Thoughout our laughing and playing,
there are times when I wish
she was saying,
I love you.
Yet, for now I hold to this grace.
She seems keen on occupying this place.
She has moved into the living room of my heart.
With an eye on the bedroom.
I chuckle to myself, "well, its a start".
So patiently I await
to hear those words and I will mark the date.
Until then I shall wish like a little boy.
Loving as if I already have that joy.
I will wait upon the LORD in faith.
Until then those three wonderful words,
will just have to wait.

Richard J Wright (2009)

The Unfortunate Pain of Fame

Tiger Woods. I never had a real reason to talk about Tiger Woods. Yet, the media blitz that is surrounding this brother is astounding. A billionaire athlete gets caught up in a whirlwind of scandal. While comedians, wannabes, clowns, suckers, leeches, radio talkshow hosts, from all genres throw their two cents in. The whole situation is really for the most part, unfortunate.

There has always been a mystery to Tiger Woods. How can a this Black man (regardless of his prefered ethnic heritage) swing a golf club to the point of becoming a billionaire. He has always yearned for some level of privacy. Yet, when you conquer the white man's sport because lets face it, that was what golf was before Tiger came along, everybody and they mama wasn't so happy about it. Yet, for all the criticism, he has had a cool head through it all. Until now.

Now, let me tackle the Black issue. I can see neck rolling sisters saying "thats what he gets" I can see brothers laughing at the corner store saying "that was stupid, how could he be so dumb?" So many people are commenting and saying what they think he should have did. If you ever want to know if you are a hater, then place the words "I think he should have..." In front of the sentence. One of things that is a interesting is that Black people love Tiger Woods, but its like Tiger is another part of the house none of us can go to. We shared this dynamic with Micheal Jackson. God bless the dead. Instead of us saying what he should have did and all that, we really need to pray for the brother and his family. Yall are aware he does have children. Nevermind these silly women who have taken his downfall for a chance of opportunity. That is just apart of fame. Black people, stop tripping over what has happen and ask God to help Tiger and his family because the media does not care one way or the other. The same people who admired Tiger and want Tiger to play in their cities on their golf courses are the same people right now taking shots. That is the unfortunate pain of fame. People build you up, just to tear you down. We know about that Black people dont we, we call it "crabs in a barrel mentality".

Yes, the brother has made some mistakes. However, who among us haven't. What? We expect because he has some money that he should know better? Do we think that he is flawless. Hardly, no. However, think about David. A man who was after God's own heart. He fell. He had hardships after falling. Yet, God still blessed him. Does anybody even care about Tiger's soul? Get off of Tiger. Pray for him instead of kicking him. Do you remember when you made a mistake? Im sure you have made several. We talk a good game when it comes to looking at someone else's transgressions. Yet, Christ paid for those sins Tiger committed too. He needs your prayers. Trust me, there are a lot of white people right now glad he has taken a fall. We shouldn't be listening on the radio for the latest Tiger joke or waiting the next woman to come out. We should be praying for him. Just some food for thought.

When my hand holds yours

When my hand holds yours,
I do not feel alone.
It is so personal,
so fitting,
so complimentary,
that I do not want to let go.
I feel like a man,
that has found a rare jewel.
I could never find an amount
to suffice its value,
for it is priceless.
In this moment,
I feel light,
I feel peace,
I feel alright.

Richard J Wright

The God Factor

On the local gospel station, one of the favorite songs that is played is by group called Mary Mary. The name of the song is "The God in me". Unfortunately, its one of them fishes and loaves type songs. You know the kind that thanks God for all the stuff He gives us. Now on the surface, there is nothing wrong with that. However, Jesus told us that many follow Him for that reason, the fishes and the loaves. While I will not contest what the ladies singing this song is saying, I will mention that only one lyric in the song talks about change. Its things like this that get me to thinking about what is it all about? Jesus, in His wonderful wisdom told us that life does not consist in the abundance of things. Its a sobering reminder that yes, its nice to have a decent car, lots of clothes and lots of money, but life itself does not revolve around that. Too often people associate material wealth with spiritual growth. Now dont get me wrong, in some cases they go hand in hand, however it is not the end all be all.

I cannot write everything that God is. Even the bible declares that in the book of John. What I can do is give a person reason for knowing that God exists, and that God loves all of us. We are saturated in the body of Christ with so many messages on prosperity that we tend to forget some basic things regarding our faith. We struggle with being identified as a religion versus being known for relationship. What good is it to have all this material wealth and not really give people what Christ wants us to give them, which is the message of the gospel; the death, burial and ressurection. Many people reject the thought that Jesus Christ even existed. I tell folks that for those people, life suits them just fine and that is their issue, not mine. I have had too many experiences to know that God is real. His word is real. His Spirit is as real as the words your reading.

One of the first thoughts is why the need for God? Well, for one God created everything. The next question is why do I need God in my life? Well simply stated, we are fallen creatures. We have an terminal condition called sin which needs to be dealt with. Christ came to be the perfect sacrifice. The whole idea that God would come to earth, take on a physical body and be born in a manger is a bit much for many to handle. Many would say, if He was God, talking about Jesus, why would He feel the need to come to earth in such a way. What way would you have Him to come? He chose this way because it was foretold that He would come this way in the old testament. Now, lets deal with the issue of suffering and pain. Some would say of course if there was a God, why does He allow suffering and pain in the earth? Well, that is like asking why you allow certain things to take place in your own life. If it were up to any of us, we would "make" people do things. Don't we despise that in our own relationships with people? We all have self will. God is not going to put you or anyone in a headlock and make you do anything. God is love and love does not make you do anything. If you are made to do something or feel obligated to do something, that is not freedom but slavery. Hence, wives and husbands being referred to comically being the proverbial "ball and chain". God set order for salvation through the life of Jesus. Christ was crucified and rose from the dead. Now people will try to introduce similar ancient stories, saying in part that this story is not correct because here is a similar instance taking place in this belief system. One thing I have learned is that Satan will not go to war with himself. He is not in the business of tearing down what he puts up. In fact he will promote these "stories" to disprove to the world the existance of Christ. If Satan can disprove that Christ does not exist, then salvation from a life of sin is not needed.

I close with the story of a young Christian college student who was having an exchange with an athiest professor. The professor told the student that he read the bible back and forth and he did not believe it. The young Christian scholar, simply replied "well, that's what you get for reading someone's else mail". The bible is one large love letter written to God's people. It is not for those who don't believe in it. While many make it their business to disprove the authenticity of the bible, they never have time to really focus on what they really believe. Karl Marx called religion the opium of the masses. Well, we see where communism is. The same people who claim that the bible was used to brutalize and enslave fail to admit that communism, facism, colonialism, and nationalism did the same things with the bible and with other ancient writings other than the bible. So should we through out the baby with the bath water? I dont think so.

At the end of the day, we all have to live to with the choices we make in life. The bible records that we all will have a day with God to give an account. What will your account be? Will your life testify that you served Him and loved Him. Or will it be one where you served and only loved yourself. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is LORD. That day is coming, like it or not. You are either going to do it now or then. Either, way whether you believe in Christ or not, whether you believe the bible or not does not matter. Your individual beliefs do not change that reality. John 3:16 says it perfectly. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son for whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life". John 3:17 solidifies it. "For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world but that through Him, the world might be saved". Jesus loves you. His word is the truth. Believe, repent and be baptised. As one preacher eloquently put it. "I know a man from Galilee who can set you free".

Changing Your Ways

Man... the more I look at myself, the more I dont like myself. Now, I dont suffer from self-esteem issues. However, I know that changing my ways for the better is always best. Mistakes become conscious decisions when you keep doing the same thing over and over and over. Therefore, I know a change must take place. To reflect that change I will focus on this last month of the year on change. Join me, while I do my best to embody that change. The blog will change as well, regarding appearance. So while we go into cocoon mode. Rest assured the blog will be better for it. God does not change, that is why you and I must change to be more like Him. So let it be.

The Black in Black Friday

Well. I pray the holiday was awesome. I pray that you got enough to eat. I pray that you found it in your heart to help someone. Maybe it was nothing more than helping your drunk uncle realize that he was too hammered to drive home. Either way, I hope the holiday went well. Now its "bait and switch" oops... I mean Black Friday. This day, hundreds of people will roll out of bed, stand in a ridiculous line in the cold. Why to get a good deal. Many Black people will tell themselves, man its too cold but you can find more than a few of us. A brother called me and told me that Joseph A Banks is selling Cashmere sweaters at a ridiculous price. Now this brother is very frugal and it is something he himself cannot pass up. Yeah we all have seen a sale where none of us can pass up and that really is a major problem in our community.

So are Black people who are enterpreneurs participating in the drive to make the economy gauge hiccip for about a half a second? I am willing to bet there may be a couple. However, Black businesses truthfully wont see a whole lot of action. This day is for the big boys, you know Wally World and Tar 'jay. My daddy taught me something a long time ago "you get what you pay for". So that "42 inch flat screen going for about 300 bucks is worth really just about that. Yesterday, my brother schooled me about flat screens and the quality pictures. Today people will pick up a bunch inferior product for basement products.

So, why are we so ready to spend our money? While mama's old adage rings loudly in my head "you cannot take it with you", I do know that tommorow will be another day and sometimes we are broke because we think stuff like "life is short" "laugh now and cry later". I know im sick of life being long and crying later for my stupid mistakes. Have you ever bought something that sat in the bag or on the hanger for weeks on end. Its because it really wasn't something that you needed to had to have.
That feeling really sucks.

In 2010, one of things I will working on and sharing will be our spending and investment potential. Okay, let me scratch that. I will be trying to cut my spending and invest more for the future. One of the first signs of the road to recovery is realizing you have the problem and not someone else.

Even now im tempted to get up and go see what's on sale. Yet I have pressing matters. My daughter, Ashley has already given me her wish list. I cannot say I am mad at it. Translation: There isnt nothing expensive on the list. Aint God good? Im sure I will wind up in a store today, for how long will be determined. I don't lines well. Especially ones that swing around the building. Yep. Somebody right now, is catching a cold because they just have to have that item they saw the newspaper or online.

If there is a Black business near you. Go and support it. The legal ones. Okay. Im not trying to be funny... Okay, yes I am. Anyway, spend some dough with your people. They need it. I need it. If the Black is expected to spend his or her money on Black friday, we should at least benefit somehow. Anybody got Jesse Jackson's number? I wonder what his take is on Black Friday and the Black folks that buy into this economic shell game. I dont know. The economy is down and retailers are expecting us to still spend because in less than 30 days its Christmas? Really. Maybe its about time this nation remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. Bless the Lord, we can always hope, yeah. Like President Barrack Obama said, Yes we can.

Thankful

I thank God for every trial He brought me through.
I thank God for every tear I cried.
I thank God for everytime I wanted to give up.
I thank God for bringing into a new season.
I thank God for bringing Darlene into my life.
I thank God for providing food, clothing and shelter.
I thank God for my pastor and my church.
I thank God for my parents still together going on 43 years.
I thank God for my one and only brother, Michael.
I thank God for my friend, Jack Coachman.
I thank God for allowing me to serve in His church.
I thank God for allowing me to write.
I thank God for blessing me to get a MBA.
I thank God for allowing me to be a blessing.

As you can tell Im thankful for a lot of things. I could write a thousand more lines for what Im thankful for. Yet, these standout. I struggled so much this year. I had victories and calamities. I felt so much pain and yet so much pleasure. I am just thankful that God has blessed me. I did nothing to deserve it. It feels so good knowing that I have a God that loves me and is always there to show me that He loves me.

*tears*

Why I do this thing?

Why do I blog? Well truthfully it allows me to practice writing. I didnt graduate with a degree in journalism but I can put my thoughts out here and let numerous readers and other bloggers chime in, criticize, or be inspired. I have had several blogs over the years and this one by far is my most consistant. Basically, I get bored easily. Sometimes, Im not motivated. I ask myself why don't have the number of subscribers as certain blogs. I guess my blog is boring to a certain degree. I could write about hundreds of different things but I chose to focus on love, God and inspiration. I might vent every now and then but I try to keep my focus. I am believing 2010 to be a breathrough year. I have two books on deck and I am currently mulling over third one to be release by the end of 2010; LORD willing. The campaign on these books will no doubt shift my focus but I am hoping to keep this blog flowing consistantly. I am not somebody who is going look at what everyone else is doing and just follow suit. I do this thing to exercise my craft and bless people. Nothing more and nothing less.

Dust

Psalm 103:13-16
“As a father pities his children,
So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust.
“As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
And its place remembers it no more”.

Dust. We see it everyday. We walk by it. We walk on it. Yet, we don’t think about ourselves as such. A natural inclination to do so may accuse us of suffering from low self-esteem. Yet, according to the bible, dust is what we are. In Genesis 2:7 we are reminded that God formed man from the dust of the ground. One should not just view themselves as dust. However, one should be mindful of the humble beginnings by which we originate. Surely God made us to be more than just dust. Yet, when our life is over on this planet, our physical bodies return to the dust of the ground. In Psalm 103, the bible says that man’s days are like grass or the flower of the field. When the wind passes over it and it is gone, the very place where the grass or flower grew no longer remembers it. For all the accomplishments, goals, purpose driven pursuits, we must realize that our contribution is important but not without pity from God, at least for those that fear Him. Rappers and celebrities talk about what they have and what they want and yet for all of things they gather to themselves, it will belong to someone else after they die according to Solomon in Ecclesiates. No man (gender notwithstanding) should think more of himself or herself than what is proper. We all must be sober minded when it comes to our lives. We should look upon people with deeper appreciation and understanding; knowing we are all frail beings.

Speak Life!

People in your life and mine are hurting. When we know this, it is important for us to speak a word of life to them. Sometimes a word of encouragement goes a long way. Now, it is important for each of us to have a word available and that only comes when you yourself are full of words of encouragement. The Word of God is that special body and knowledge that all of us can stand to benefit from if we draw upon it. People need to know if they come to you that you can meet them right where they are. If nothing else, you can point them to the One that knows where they are. So instead of giving them your opinion or philosophy, give them something that is light and spirit. The Word of God.

This time of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving the holiday will be here on this upcoming Thursday. Many of us will sit down with the family and eat Turkeys, Hams, rice dressing, cornbread dressing, and a few pies and cakes. Im getting hungry just thinking about it. Others will hit the movie theater and some of us will watch the Detriot Lions more than likely lose on another Thanksgiving day. Some of the radicals among us will protest silently and make comments and jokes about why we shouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving. Either way, we all know that Thanksgiving isnt a holiday really. In fact, its a life style. We should be thankful everyday of our lives and tell the Creator thank you because God is good all the time and all the time God is good. This is a time where we are all to really count our blessings and forget the complaining we find ourselves doing so much. Somebody would love to have your life. Ask the homeless guy or the kid down the street who will have to go to a shelter on this Thanksgiving to get a meal. Just for once in your life, shut up and be thankful.

I'd Rather Be With You

As peek out my window,
and smell and feel the cold air.
I wish I was there.
Telling you how much I care.
I wish I could stare,
at your beautiful brown eyes,
they are like a pool of jewels
and I can't lie,
I'd rather be with you.

In my mind I'm strategizing and thinking,
of the things I need to do without blinking.
Im so deep into this love affair,
that i dont care much for what's out there.
I gotta get my mind right,
because a good woman is worth the fight.
She pushes me to do well.
She pushes me to excel.
There is nothing I cant do.
Because I know deep down, I'd rather be with you.

I picture us holding hands,
walking down the street.
Im so sprung i cant feel my feet.
She got me levitating off the ground.
My ears hanging on every word and sound.
God be praised for the one I found.
I am grateful that love has finally come around.
This a blessing and a dream come true.
Now all I wanna do is be right there with you.

Richard J Wright

A.I. what gives my man?

A.I. Man, what is the problem? Memphis was so glad to have you. I guess you thought you was being exiled to basketball purgatory. Now, granted Memphis is not the best place in the world to play basketball but last time I checked they do have NBA stitched on their respective jerseys. 3 games. 3 games. 3. Games. Well, A.I. where would you like to go? You had it so good in Denver. Yet you blew it there. You had it so good in Detroit. Yet you blew it there. We not even gonna talk about Philly where you was worshipped. Why I don't know. When the sun sets on your NBA career. You will have two highlights.1) The day you broke Jordan's ankles. Yeah, you did that. 2) You infamous quote on practice. That's it. No jewelry. Well you got plenty of jewels but not the ring. Im still shuddering over your Hip Hop album cover. Shaq thinks its a classic. Yeah you will get into the hall. Yet, you will be remembered as a ball hog and not a competitor that made his teammates around him better. We will remember your mama, she was great. Real Talk. But dude that's it. I hope retirement for you is great. What will you do? I just hope you took care of your loot. I aint mad atcha but im scratching my head wondering A.I. what gives my man?

This Blogging Thing...

Most blogs suck in my opinion. Im just going to be honest. Why, because many of them lack originality. The best blogs do not have the bells and whistles of popular blogs. People write what they are able to relate to and that's cool. However, when you see what is being offered to people, its enough to make you yawn. Take your fashion, sex, entertainment blogs for example. There are hundreds of them. Many of them have the same posts. I wonder do any of these writers know that people are lifting their stuff. Perhaps its by permission. Yet, I am willing to bet that many of them are not given permission. As a writer that is taboo. You dont steal creativity. The idea is to enhance your own craft. Most of what I see is overrated opinions. Take African American writers in todays world. Now I have to perfectly honest. Most of what is being offered in bookstores is straight up garbage. The stories have no substance and offer no real insight in life. Infidelity and criminality seem to be what publishing houses are pushing. Many writers published under pen names, because they probably dont want to embarrass their families. While I think Black authors should be supported, especially those who are independent. I just wonder are we really offering anything worthwhile. The internet has made new media a viable and lucrative way to make a living, our stories are not reaching new heights. Like Hip Hop originally intended, creativity was the sign of going to those new heights. Now, their is no original thought or substance. Give a reader or listener something to think about. Go to the bookstore and comb through the books and CD section. Do you see anything that is new that inspires? Hardly. As a blogger, I want hundreds of followers, yet not a the expense that I wont offer something besides gossip or a number of sex positions to make you a champion lover. Cosmopolitan thinks these bloggers go way too far. Its just my opinion. I dont expect you to agree, especially in regards to this blogging thing.

All is fair in love and war...really?

You know love is a wonderful thing. It does not suck to be in love. It is the greatest gift God bestows on His children. When Christ died for the ungodly, it was because He loved us. When a man finds a wife, the bible declares that he finds a good thing. Why? Because the man finds the one thing in his life that he needs most. Somebody to love him. That is why when God saw the animals who had mates and then looked at Adam who was alone, He declared that is not a good thing for man to be alone. So God in His wisdom created woman from the man He created. That my friends is a beautiful thing.

However.

What happens when love shows up on the scene? Many people go through many different emotions all of which are related to being in love but not necessarily because of love. Think of all the songs you have heard that hail infidelity. Bobby Womack's "I wish he didn't trust me so much" comes to mind. TLC's Creep and every other third blues song ever made. Many of these songs are bits and pieces of justification to step outside the boundaries of commitment. I know people in my family who cheated on their wives and married the "other" woman and had lasting relationships. At family functions, everything is peaches and cream but whispers linger and secrets are quite comical. Yet, we believe that all is fair in love and war. Truthfully, sometimes love is war and war is love. Which leads people to believe that it may not be ethical but its fair. Take the dynamic of being single versus being married. If you single, then you are single. Oh sure, having a girlfriend or a boyfriend is nice but as I told a sister recently, what's the point? Are we just wasting our time because their is nothing better to do? The language of singles and married couples are different. Yet, we try to smear and blur those lines. We have shacking as an example. I heard a wise man once tell a brother "its hard to eat from two tables". Yet, many do all the time. We live double, triple, quadruple lives speaking in languages and dialects that do not reflect reality. Yet, we do it because we can and we think its fair.

In my divorce, I was devestated. Divorce is horrible. You may think the person you are divorcing merits leaving but that is an emotional and spiritual tearing that is not like anything you will ever feel. How did I get there? Truthfully, pride and looking at the relationship made me feel "its not fair". Nevermind that working it out was an option. Which by the way I tried, yet the other party decided to move on. Recently, this other party remarried and after only almost 6 months wants to "hook up". I guess the green grass has some brown patches. Now, in my small mind I could take her up on her offer but why? Because I could? Hell.. never. I scratched my bald head wondering why? Which leads to the old saying "you dont miss your well until its gone". Yet, I refuse to play this game because one it does not benefit me at all. Some people believe that if the sex in your relationship is mind blowing then you can get it whenever you want. While I agree that good sex is crucial in any marriage, it will not keep it together. Good sex prolongs relationships but will never keep one. Its what occurs outside the bedroom that makes that dynamic possible and leads people to cheat. I could go and get some but why? Is all really fair in love and war? Truthfully like Tina Turner said "what's love got to do with it?". Not a doggone thing.

What am I saying? Many times the things we do are not because of love. We are self driven creatures at heart. Things may seem right but we know in our heart of hearts we are just wrong. Yet, this goes on and on. Right now somewhere, a woman is meeting a man in a parking lot at a mall. She tells her husband she's going shopping. Yet, in a few minutes she will be locked in a hotel room with a man she thinks in some perverse sort of way is love or the loving she's missing at home. Somewhere there's man who is on the road talking to a woman about how horrible his marriage is. The women on the receiving end of this conversation is sympathic to his frustrations. Leading her small mind into the possibility that I would be better to you. Why? All is fair in love and war... really?

No Guarantee

There's no guarantee
that I will love you forever.
No guarantee
that I will stick around.
I have found something about me
makes me leave
makes me decieve
makes me grieve.
Hearts are made to be broken,
with words unspoken.
Silence is golden.
Yet, solitude is platinum.
I know not what I want
'till I get it.
Then I just want to forget it.
Later on perhaps I'll regret it.
I know I shouldn't have said it.
Now I guess I gotta dead it.
Destiny I've met it.
Still there's no guarantee.
I cant pretend to be
something out of a harlaquin novel,
for life is something more surreal.
So many brothers have been there.
You may not care,
you may think its not fair,
I rather let you be free,
cause with me...
There's no guarantee.


Richard J Wright (2007)

Taken for the upcoming 2010 release Anthology: The Secret Lives of Richard J Wright

I Miss You...

When she's away I just dont feel the same.
I find myself talking to myself, saying her name.
From the time I really saw her face,
something went through me in the space
in my heart, my mind, and my spirit.
Couldn't shake the feeling
and I couldn't steer clear it.
She made me feel like a king,
and that's a job solely built for a queen.
Now she's away for the holiday,
While my mind spins quietly with only these words to say.
"I Miss You"

Richard J Wright

Do we want love or lust?

I am a man.
100% male.
After I eat, drink and breathe, sex is craved.
Now honestly speaking. That is a task.
Especially trying to live life as a Christian single.



Historically, sex has been a dirty word or better yet an ignored word in the Body of Christ. Yet, millions of Christians struggle with this dynamic in life. If our thoughts were to be laid out on a table, you can bet *not that I am a gambling man* that sexual thoughts would crowd the table. In having conversations with Christian men and women, I can tell you that all of us struggle with this. If the truth were to be told, many of us would get married not because we have found somebody that we truly love and want to spend the rest of lives with. It would be so we could have sex. Which leads to the question, do we want love or lust? The body is wired in men to desire sex. Period. Ladies, you know the drill. Any guy who tells you that he isn't interested in having sex with you but a good wholesome relationship is lying. Now, do I believe that men and women can have plutonic relationships, sure. However, how many times do those boundaries get crossed through signals, signs, and thoughts? Men and women need to develop relationships with a purpose and that purpose must be communicated and followed through. I have heard sisters say "just be honest", "keep it real". Yeah right. That is about as good as the first two seconds it takes to say that and the next 5 seconds to hear it. We have to be honest with ourselves first of all. All this "make love to my mind" is poppycock. While mental stimulation is proper in courtship many men know whether or not they are serious with a potential mate. Too often, the sister gets played because she allows herself to get played. Words are powerful but actions speak volumes. Do not allow a man to spend a little cash and take you to a few sites to entice you into giving him something you cannot get back. Once you have done the deed, you cannot go back. I know women who sleep with a man and call that person their man and yet they have no jewelry on their finger, they have no reference point to stand on. If you not married, you are single. Period. I dont care how long you have been sexing the individual it is fornication at the end of the day. Then sisters get a date in their heads. If such and such doesn't marry me or give me a ring, then Im out. Out to where? Its self justification which only works in Soap Operas and sitcoms. While I hear many sisters lament that they want love, too often they find themselves entangled in lustful relationships with no direction. God meant sex for marriage but you have wrap your minds around what God wants and not what you think you need.


As a Christian man who is single. Im not perfect and I have slipped up. Yet, if we are not careful. Conviction will be felt less and less and less. Which is a dangerous area altogether. I had to reach a point where I had to ask myself the question, do I want love or lust? You have to set parameters, boundaries around your personal space and heart. Otherwise, you will be scratching your head, wondering how you found yourself in this predicament. If a person wants to please God, then you have to flee and resist the temptation. Sometimes you gotta run. Sometimes, a cold shower helps. Yet, like an elder once told me. Lust is like playing with a set of keys. You keep playing with it and eventually you will drop it, pick it up and search for a new way to play with them. You get bored with the initial playing and so you graduate to new ways to entertain yourself. You have to be honest with yourself. You know how much rope it will take to hang yourself. The idea is to not reach for that much rope. While grace will cover us it was never intended to be an excuse to sin. Where sin is, grace abounds. However, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound, God forbid. So brothers and sisters, I know they are cute and attractive but lust will keep you being blessed. God does not bless mess. Repent and return. There is no other way.

When the Bottom Falls Out... Part One

Black men where are you? Or better yet, what are you doing? It is almost 2010 and Black men are still under the scope. For the longest we have been told we are an endangered species. The statistics have shown that as many as one in four Black men are directly or indirectly supervised by the criminal court system. Statistics also show that one in twenty black males will die by way of homicide. Truthfully, as staggering as the statistics are. There is a hidden and deeper danger.

What we have witnessed before and since the 1995 Million Man March, has been an attack on Black males. This attacked was launched not from outsiders but unfortunately within. Now for some this will not be a shock and for others it will be. Black men historically have used defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from other Black men and Whites. One of those defense mechanisms is the idea of "cool". Being "cool" was a way to be popular and even mysterious. "Cool" embraced the idea of hyper sexuality and expression through a number of outwards appearances. Hence, Black men wearing earrings. A modern expression today would be tattoos. Now these expressions are ancient but carry many symbolic meanings. Historically, if one wants to study the journey of our people, one needs only to look at our music. I will deal with music in depth in the next blog. My objective in this blog is give an outline of a number of issues regarding Black men.

Music. The one thing our people have counted on and cherished in this nation. There is an enemy among us and that enemy is Hip Hop. Hip Hop started in New York City in the late seventies. One thing we know is that New York which is considered the mecca of Hip Hop as a culture, is also the place where many vices our people came to embrace. Namely, drugs which is on the surface is a pacifier. However, anyone who knows drugs from a esoteric or spiritual standpoint knows that they are occultic in nature. Vices were given to people in order to seduce them. The war in Vietnam knew all to well the power of opium. Many veterans came back to the states traumatized and addicted to Heroin. Music has been used in a similar way. Like I stated earlier we will deal with music in a greater way in the next blog.

Culture. Culture is powerful but very misleading. As we shall discover. Since Black people have been the victims of culture bandits through slavery and colonialism. Our people have tried to pick up the pieces of our humanity by bits and pieces. However, those bits and pieces many times have been detrimental to our humanity in general.

Acceptance. How is that in some of our communities that acceptance of failure is embraced and even celebrated? Our young men are caged in county, state and federal jails and are almost applauded. Many of the top commercial rappers are in jail or heading there. There is no disgust. No rebuke. Not even the proverbial scratching of the head. Then hip hop magazine journalists want to write articles and blogs about the "attack on hip hop". Our people have to learn that jail is not a place to be. It should be expressed to the people that jail is the place where they put you when you do not know how to behave. It is basically the grown folks "time-out". Felonies are hard to cope with when you are poor. Many apartment properties will not even rent to a felon. Companies do not make it a practice to hire felons. This forces many convicted felons to go back to life or practice of crime they found themselves in originally. The idea of more of our Black men are in prison than in college is a crying shame. While I will be the first to admit that college is not always the answer for everyone, I do know that education of some form whether trade school or specialized training is better than minimum wage and criminal activity.

Parenting. I could write a book on parenting alone. Reportedly 70 percent of Black households are headed by a single parent. Unfortunately, I am apart of this statistic. I have a 12 year old daughter I am raising. I was married at one point and took care of 3 children that belonged to my ex-wife. That was very hard on a number of levels. A friend of mine and I once talked about how unnatural it felt to raise children that are not your own. While I do know that love conquers all, it is challenging to say the least. Teenagers and young adults are getting pregnant at high rates. The fathers of these children tend to disappear. Whether it is because of a scorned lover or just the irresponsibility of the parent can be debated. However, it has become common place to where it is not something of a big deal to see a teenager with a protruding stomach awaiting to give birth to a child that the tax payers of the nation will have to support. While the mentality of some look at WIC and food stamps as being free. Anybody with sense knows that in America there is nothing free. One of my biggest pet peeves is to see a child with runny noses and appearance unkept while the "mothers" of these children walk around with fake designer purses and nice hair dos. Go to your local supermarket and see it everyday. It leaves me fuming. Where is the father? Instead our communities are filled with sperm donors with no education, no integrity, no sense of responsibility. We wear the name brands of many millionaires and yet we cannot find enough dough to feed, clothe, and house our children.

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Okay... Im done venting. I guess you ask what can be done? I honestly don't know. I don't have a one fix all solution. Personal responsibility of course must be taken. Yet, when the bottom completely falls out as it has. You have children raising themselves, killing one another, raping their grandmothers, raping young girls to the hooting and hollering of a crowd. As I have read the news lately, Im going to be honest. The bottom has fell out literally. Our community is at a crossroad. We are either going to live like we are supposed to live or die slowly in 25 to 30 years. Every generation seems to get sicker and sicker. Yet, this young generation that is coming up has seen war, aids, poverty, like never before. We are literally in a falling state. Nobody is crying. Instead we pay money to networks like BET and VH1 to laugh about it. Killing is big business and business right now is good. We are dying mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically and characteristically. Too bad its only the beginning of sorrows. Yeah I am saying, we have not seen anything yet. It is going to get worse. Nevermind we have a Black president in the White House. While that is to be celebrated and admired. President Obama cannot save a generation of Black children. That is our job and we are failing miserably. I only have two words left. Personal Responsibility.

Caged Masculinity

I am trapped in a cage of masculinity.
Wrapped in chains appearing in invisibility.
Tortured by the thought that I have be strong.
Not realizing what I thought was strong,
was so wrong.

To be hugged by my father was not commonplace.
Yet, even today there's barely a trace.
Knowing that he was not hugged himself.
Caused him to transfer this burden of wealth.
"Fix your face, boy dont cry"
All the time my spirit mourns silently
asking "Why?"

I have never understood the opposite sex.
It caused me to have toxic relationships and expect.
Love dont love nobody and who's gonna love me.
If love dont mean nothing and especially if I am not free.
The best things in life are free.
Then why do I suffer cost continually?

With God's help I have been able to heal.
Take the emotions and wisdom I hold and feel,
with the right mindset and perspective.
To have balance is my one objective.
Be strong, but not be ashamed of my tears.
Be faithful, though i have failed over the years.
Be sensitive when I want to be cold.
Be vibrant in all things and love bold.

I just want to be a man,
and not be defined by things.
Especially my masculinity and all the tradition it brings.


Richard J Wright (2009)

Come and See a Man

Somebody tell me when was the last time
you saw a real man?
One who is confident and does more than he can.
He may be poor financially but rich in character traits.
He may not be a model and a tad bit overweight.
He may be quiet and reserve than most.
He may be speak with a southern drawl but what is spoken
comes directly from the Holy Ghost.

He doesn't sag his jeans or wear ball caps.
He doesn't talk trash or look like he raps.
He doesn't practice looking cool, tough and all hard.
He just knows who he is.
He could never be mistaken for a fraud.
He doesn't have a lot of jewelry or cars that vary.
Instead he takes pride in his own library.

Intelligensia, Integrity, Independent are the only I's he claims.
His selflessness and labor is never in vain.
Silly women find him boring but its because they dont know.
A real man when he is seen doesn't need to show.
His muscles, his heart, he is always in control.
He cares for people, their purpose and their souls.

The woman at the well, saw Him.
Do you see Him too?
He could be an uncle, a cousin or nephew.
He could be a husband, or a preacher.
He could be an officer or maybe a teacher.
So many people are searching for Him,
but He is always there.
You can find Him in people's hearts,
He has always been there.
While man looks on the outside,
God sees the heart.
So why don't you look with God's vision in part?

Ladies dont miss your blessing looking with your natural eyes.
Brothers dont miss your blessing because you fail to realize.
Ministers, Mentors, mighty men of God.
Are all around you, if you look real hard.
How can a young boy grow up to be a man,
if he never saw one.
Understand?
So perhaps you should go on a field trip and search for such a man.
For such a man is more than what is expected and...
Seek his knowledge and wisdom for they are not his to have alone.
A real man knows his purpose for it is apart of being grown.
Age is only a number, but maturity is key.
For a man craves it, for that makes a man complete and totally free.
He learns, He earns, He helps, He cares. He creates.
He is simply a man who serves His heavenly Father.
Will you see him or not even be bothered.

Richard J Wright