Visions of Heaven

Monday, May 30, 2011

Random Thoughts...


I am in a jacked up position right about now. Its only a temporary condition. Thank God for that. The fact that I am here makes me wonder, how the world did I get here?

At first I thought I would be psyched about moving to Fresno. Im not.
Maybe that couch I couldnt fit in the door had something to do with it.

At first I was excited about my second book. Im not.
I read a few pages and for whatever reason. I didnt like it. Im just fickle like that I guess.

Right now, I need some normalcy.

Im dating, but I dont know if she is the one for me, long term.

I need a bigger bed. #backache

God is good. This situation is tough. I will be fine.
Not gonna let em see me sweat.

Did I mention, Im broke this week?

Yeah, I know.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Why Black People Make Me Cry


There is something to be said about loving one's self and people. There is a burden that goes deep down to affirm and preserve legacy and life of one's self. There is this thought in the Black community that speaks to the idea that we hate ourselves. Unfortunately, that is exactly what we do in various ways.

When I look at the accomplishments of our people, I am inspired to no end. Our people suffered the worst form of servitude known to the civilized world and produced greatness inspite of the conditions and circumstances. From the bottom of the totem pole to the highest office in the world. Truly nothing to sneeze at.

Here is when this things comes off the tracks. Some think that President Obama is the antichrist. Go figure. If a Black man is going to be president, then the whole totality of evil must be behind it. As a Black man I have been called nigger by whites and nigga by my own people. Nigger, Nigga, Nicca, whatever, tomato, tomato. Same thing. Does one make me more sore than the other? Absolutely. While I hate prejudice and the pain that comes with it, I am more injured and hurt when it comes directly from my own people.

Recently, I recived an envelope in the mail from an address of a relative. The address was the address of an aunt. I sent her a copy of my book Visions of Heaven. Her son who lives with her, decides to send me a care package. Basically, it was pictures of Black people doing demonic and worldly things. There was a depiction of Uncle Sam as Satan. The whole crux of this nonsense was to "teach" me the errors of my ways. It was crazy because somebody took something so pure in my eyes and made it to be the bane of my existence. He was basically calling me out for being a Christian. Now that makes my blood boil. Dont insult my believe system because in turn you are insulting my mind. It left a bad taste in my mouth, needless to say.

I dont debate scriptures with people whose job seems to be to tear them down. I prove the scriptures through my life. If the scriptures are contridicting, it is because we are contridicting in applying them or understanding them. I respect other people's beliefs. Believe in a goat, a bottle of beer, or a football team. Its your life. However, people can cross the line. It is here when Black people make me cry.

I was talking with a friend and we were talking about this viral video of people dancing in Walmart and acting a fool. What might be considered as fun and humorous is based upon a person's perspective. Im not going to break down that foolishness other than to say that our people bled, sweated and died for freedom, the right to vote, civil rights, and human rights. Not for our youth to dance around in stores who drain our pockets day after day while we own nothing but goods from China. Sometimes funny just isn't funny.

We just lost a great poet and musician. Gil Scott Heron. The things spoke on in his day mirror what is going on today. It is what it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9woebI-td4

Friday, May 20, 2011

What I have Learned


In life, especially daily life it is a bonus if you learn something. Folks always saying "you learn something new everyday". Truth is, some of the stuff we learn isnt always worth knowing or learning. Yet, when a watershed moment comes, its precious.

In life, my life, I have learned that people are only faithful to whatever it is they believe in. Whether it is religion, politics, or people in general. It bothers me at times when I yearn to be taken seriously. Sometimes, life reminds you that people are just into themselves or things that are perhaps better in focusing on.

I am dating a young lady, someone who I really like. She is smart, funny, and cool. When I look at all the pain I have encounted through heartbreak, I realize that all of it was for this lesson. This moment. This situation. Will it yield fruit? Hard to say. However, we do talk future speak. Thats always a good thing.

So what is it that I have learned really? Well, I have learned to not let it be about me. Life needs to be about people. People need to see the mercy of God. We live a merciless society. Love needs to respond to fear and hate. My owb desires to be appreciated and affirmed, are rooted in not serving my self but others.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Random Thoughts Sunday night blues


...She is so fione. I gotta make her mine.

...God I need a breakthough in my life, like yesterday.

...I wanted to see her tonight.

...God i need you like Smokie Norful type need.

...I should have bought the new Mandisa album.

...Im going to bed alone, again.

...Someday, my queen will come.

An Open Letter to my Future Wife V


Dear Sweetheart,

I am sitting here wondering whats going on. I have been dealing with some issues with my daughter. She's 14. Do you have any advice? I could sure use it. Things are getting crazy now the book is out. I just got my first promo for the book up on facebook and twitter. I hope somebody buys my book. I hope people will tell somebody about the book. I just hope it blesses somebody.

I wish you were here. I need a hug. I feel so alone at times. Things are hectic and crazy but I still feel alone. Im trying to be patient but it just hard. I want to sit in the back seat my car with you and listen to some old school R&B. Just watching the sun set. Im going through right now. I could really use a friend. Miss you forward,

Love.

Richard.

Visions of Heaven Promo

Here is my promo for my new book, tis superduperawesomefresh!