The Origin of Tears

Tears come in times of pain.
Tears comes in times of rain.
Tears come in times recalled again.
From the emerging of a child from a mothers womb,
To the last day of one crawling into a tomb.
Tears are apart of our world.
Whether we are rich or poor.
Big or small, hard or soft,
We all have tears.
Some do not cry outside,
But its still the same.
Tear is a tear by any other name.
They pour from our eyes, from the wells of our heart and soul.
They sooth the pain we find ourselves apart.
Tears come and tears go.
Until Christ comes they will continue to flow.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Being Covered by Love

The bible makes an interesting declaration about love. It says that love covers a multitude of faults. When we think of the word multitude, we think of an unknown but high number. Why then are we so quick to put away people over just any old thing. The truth be told, love is often spoken of, but rarely in operation. Of course, in the context of the bible, this type of love that is being spoken of, is the love of God or the love that God has for us all.

Sometimes people wrong us in many ways and yet those same people will need your love from time to time. While we can become bitter if we do not check ourselves, it is important to remember that love isnt a passing phase or just something that we desire and dont understand. Rather love is state of consciousness that involves responsibility, compassion, understanding, passion, and willingness. Some mistake love as an emotion. The trouble with labeling love as an emotion is the idea that it only a human concept. The bible declares emphatically that God is love, so how could love be a human concept when the author of love itself is Spirit.

God in his infinite wisdom loves unconditionally. While we perhaps make strides to love the same way, we always fall short because of our human reasoning. However, there are many opportunities to share love with people that we like. However, what about those we do not like or care for. God loves everyone. There is only one case in the bible I recall where God actually said that He hated someone, that someone being Esau who traded his birthright for a bowl of lentils or beans. Yet, the truth be told, hate isnt the opposite of love as many people believe. Fear is the opposite of love. People do hateful things not because of hate itself but because of fear.

I had a situation today where someone who I once was close too, sent me a text message. The situation was of a grim circumstance and they wanted me to pray for them. This person even asked if I could find it in my heart to do so. Now, I could have honestly ignored the message but I felt it would have shown a lack of compassion if I did not. I responded to the text and even called the person. I began to minister to their heart about reminded them of God's power and to trust God in their trial. As much as love is personal, it is greater than that. When you live long enough in this world, you come to find out that it isnt about you at all. You learn that it is about the God who created us to be loving toward one another. When you think about the love God gives freely, who are we to not share that love. If God isnt bitter toward me and my foolishness throughout my life, why should I be when someone is down. Should I kick them? No. God forbid. While the pain that was in my heart for the longest due to what transpired between the two of us. I realized that today, that pain has disappeared. Simply because I understood the importance of love and covering. Sometimes you may know someone doing some serious dirt. You dont understand why they do what they do but you still have love for them because you understand clearly that love does cover a multitude of faults. People dont need snitches or a finger wagging at them. They need love. Christ said to us that we are bless them that curse you and despise you. He understands that we all need to be covered because without the covering of God. We are exposed and shamed for our deeds. Love does not shame anyone. It covers just like the God that created love does.

Identity Crisis for young Black Boys

One the worst things that has happened to Black people in this nation, aside from slavery is how one identifies themselves. Black boys in particular struggle with knowing exactly who they are. Many Black boys find themselves not knowing who they are because there isn't a father in their life to tell them exactly who they are. Too often those absentee fathers themselves do not know who they are. Therefore, it is a vicious cycle in our community that plagues many of our youth in America.

There are a number of factors that are paramount in determining who a Black boy ultimately is. I shall attempt to address some of them here.

1) History
A child that does not know their family history is a incomplete child. While the numbers are staggering, the numbers only tell half the tale. Reportedly 70 percent of children born today are born into single parent homes. There is only 1/2 of the history available to that child. Everyone wants to know who they are. They want to know why they think and feel the way they do. Everyone can trace their history today due to research and technology. Sites such as Ancestry.com help yet they do not provide the intricate details of one's parents or the history of those parents families. On a broader scale, we have seen the damage of our people lacking the knowledge of self due to high crime rates, suicide and stress related illnesses. Slavery certainly took away the history of a people and it has been a challenge to gain that knowledge and make that knowledge not only available but accessible as well. While single parents are forced to work long hours, the time to reflect upon one's purpose and design is a second thought often ignored because of the time restraints placed upon tired parents. Many parents cannot even help their children with homework because they lack the education and know how to be a help to educators.

2) Culture
The Black people in this nation are involved in many types of sub-cultures. One widely popular sub-culture, hip hop has been the mother to many of our children. The music and fashion has gripped our children to a point where the culture has inspired many but it fails to provide core truths that will build character and wisdom. Unfortunately, hip hop basically masquerades its self as a pacifier for young people with no clear direction. The criminalizing of the culture has been the dominant face of the culture. While there are success stories, there are thousands of broken dreams and hearts. Pop culture has crippled many of our youth to where honest to goodness lifestyles are shunned and frowned upon. While many of our youth are intelligent, the popular stance in the music is sex and violence. While many artists are trying to find their niche, many are forced to act as clones for record labels who only want what is considered "hot". This trendy viewpoint makes not grounds for stability. Many artists are in debt and lack the business savvy to stay current or lucrative. The videos portrayed in many artists songs do not reflect reality. While many will claim it is entertainment only, people fail to forget that people around the world believe these videos are real life. The culture is more deceptive than any pie in the sky religion. Many young Black boys see these videos and want the cars and the scantily clad women. It is unrealistic but this what they see and too often what they identify masculinity to be.

3) Knowledge
What you dont know can hurt you. The knowledge base for many young men varies but too often young Black boys do not graduate from high school. Those Black boys who do, rarely seldom enter or finish college. While college education is expensive, it is a necessary component in America. Trade schools are fine for those who do not want to study long hours but it is not valued like a college education. As a Black man, I see thousands of Black women graduating from college. As a college graduate myself, I also do see many Black men graduating but not nearly enough. In some of our communities, education is frowned upon. That is a lie. The truth is our people have always valued education but the media perception is that education is for nerds and squares. I wanted a college education so that I would have options. Most young Black boys unfortunately will not gain those options. Many of our youths are forced into a life of crime simply because they do not possess the basic skills to go to school. If one can gather the basic skills, reading, writing and math, then the higher levels of education are obtainable. Its simple. Yes, it is hard work but it pays off in relationships, knowledge and skill sets.

4) Who am I?
The discovery of self is determined by the desired person's reality. A man or woman must desire to know more about themselves to understand the potential that lies within themselves. There are ministries dedicated to helping people find their purpose in life because too often people do not know how to create the reality of their dreams. That is why we have life coaches, preachers, teachers and the like today. God gives everyone a purpose and a dream. It is up to each of us to follow that dream, cultivate that dream and manifest that dream. Will everyone succeed? No. Yet Micheal Jordan said that he gained success because of his failures. If one must fail, then one should fail with the purpose in mind of moving forward and using that failure as a spring board. Black boys need to understand failure is not an option. It is a condition in life designed to teach you a greater lesson. That lesson is that life isn't always easy and you are going to have to work hard, have faith and endure in order to get success.

Black boys can be saved. Yet, none of us can be scared of them. Many of our youth have fallen into gangs. While gangs on the surface seem to be detrimental because of the violence associated with them; it should be noted that there is nothing wrong with young people wanting to belong and wanting to be with other young people. Black men have to show young Black boys the way. Black boys need to see a Black man in full operation. A Black man cares about his community, his children and the lives of the women he comes in contact with. A Black man dresses appropriately. He is not trying to wear the garbs of a sixteen year old. Paul said it best. When I was a child, I spake as a child. When I became a man I put childish things away. This is only a symptom of the problem in our community. We have children acting men and men acting like children. The truth is we are all children of God, yet how we respond and what we know is the difference. So when you see grown men with their pants hanging off their backside, understand it is only an identity crisis on display. We have a serious problem but its nothing we cannot solve. Yet, we have to act like we want to solve the problem even to be able to pronounce solutions to the problem itself. It is what it is.

Random Thoughts

* yeah, I miss her but better off leaving well enough alone*

*she makes a strong case, but I know that I cant go there with her*

*man... as much I would like to. I better keep my head. Its not worth it*

* dag. those eyes are nothing to play with. I cant imagine lying to her with a straight face*

*what am I waiting for? The door is wide open.*

* she needs Jesus*

*man, why is my nose wide open? Its getting somethin serious*

*I got so much work to do*

* I need to sell some books*

* I dont know if I can wait that long*

* boy she just dont know*

"I hate to see yall frown but i rather see her smile"

Like the breeze of a summer evening
you gently touched my soul.
Kissed my lips and melted a heart that was cold.
Embraced me tightly and wouldn't let go.
The night ended too quickly as we said our goodbyes,
I left knowing, I met someone that will silence my cries.
We talked about music, we talked about ministry, and we talked about God.
It was a series of conversations that was truly hard,
to end, at least I didn't want it to end.
I asked God, "Lord is she the one?"
Which the Lord replied, "Do you really have ask my son?"
So now I have gone from not noticing her to missing her so much.
Feels like a eternity away from her,
got me feeling the blues, yearning for her touch.
Now Im thinking about the future I will have with her.
Just weeks ago, it never occured,
to me that I would fall hard in love again.
I found a woman to breathe next to me and be my friend.
Like Andre 3 stacks said, "i hate to see yall frown but i rather see her smile"
Love is alright and its gonna be like this for quite awhile.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Niggaz and Flies

Niggaz and flies,
always in some mess.
They dont take the time I guess,
to call you before some crap pops off.
They land in it when its hot and soft.
Then they expect you to bail em out.
Then they wonder why Black people tend to shout.
I guess that's why they niggaz,
cause they dont think any bigger.
As for me, hell I dont know why they bother,
I keeps me a big fly swatter.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Integrity as an Afterthought

Integrity. The word is scary. Its more scarier than running from Jason, Micheal Myers and Freddy Kruger in the same nightmare. I once heard a preacher say that integrity is the thing that you do when you are not being watched by people. Yet, we know that God sees everything. God sees everything, knows everything and most sobering, He knows our hearts. So often our hearts betray us. Their thoughts assault our minds daily. As a Christian, I can personally say that this is one of greatest challenges.


Adam, in the garden hid himself after disobeying God. How horrible must Adam felt when he realized he blew it. Apparently, his knowledge of who His creator was, became damaged because he believed that he could hide. So often that is what we do. Personally, there are days when I think about just wanting to give up. The Christian walk is simple yet difficult at the same time. At the end of the day, you must make a conscious decision. To go forward or go backwards.


At the job I currently have, I am a vendor for a BP. One of the divisions at BP is called Integrity. This division is design to make sure that the equipment that BP uses is fully operational and the equipment doesn't show any flaws. The company wants to be sure that the materials used cannot not be compromised. Sometimes, as individuals you have to do the same for yourself. If you are not careful, you can allow your integrity to be compromised. Truthfully, Satan prods your character to see if their are any flaws or compromising in your character.


Think about the Titanic. It was the ship that could not be sunk. The creators and owners of the Titanic bet their life on that boast. They believed that the density and durability of the ship could withstand anything. However, they did not bet that an iceberg unseen below in the waters would in fact sink the ship. So often its the unseen things that kill. Watch yourself because your integrity can be compromised if not cautious.


The last thing I will say is that, too often integrity is an afterthought. It is after a person recieves the news that they are HIV positive that they begin to reflect on why they chose not to wear or use condoms. Its after a person recieves a 25 year sentence to prison they begin to reflect on why they chose to make a terrible decision. Its is like the saying in the movie Carlito's Way, hell often is the truth learned to late. God help us all to realize the truth before its too late. You have to train yourself, discipline, and tell yourself no to certain things. Whatever you feed will live and whatever you starve will die. Your flesh and its carnal passions are not different. It is what it is.

A funny thing happened on my way...

This past weekend has been a blast. I cannot complain. Yet, the apex of this weekend happened in an instant. I was at church and we were taking up a collection. I am a deacon, so I handle in part the monies the church takes in. On this particular Sunday, a lady I met a few weeks ago came by at the end of the service. I did not have a pen, so I went to the Admin office to retrieve one. Well, I saw her and let me say that something warm went through my body. Sparks. Butterflies. I dunno. I just know I had not felt that since maybe high school. I spoke briefly with her and then trotted off to get the pen. She exited the church and was on her way to the car. Well, after grabbing the pen. I decided to go outside to see if she was still in the parking lot. Girlfriend must have known something was up because she was still out there at her car. I rushed over to her and asked her for her number, which she happily obliged. Let me say that I am somewhat shy. I dont know the negro who asked for the number, but it was in my hand. I dont want to make too much of it, but its nice to meet someone who gives you butterflies, sparks or whatever it was. LOL

"Baby, what daddy is trying to do is..."

For the past six years of my life. I have been in college. I have worked until I could not see the words on the computer screen clearly. I have called in sick at work to complete assignments. I have missed bible study and prayer meetings to attend classes that were scheduled on those respective nights. When I was married, I missed time with being with my wife and children. In short, the past six years have been crazy and ridiculous.

My mother used to remind me of something I told her years ago before I went back to school. She used to say to me, "remember you said you was going back to school". Which I would reply, "yeah mama, I am gonna go back". One of her stinging phrases to me was after my child was born and started school. "Make sure you beat your child graduating". It was a sobering reality that I had a daughter who I very much adored. I wanted to ultimately set an example.

So in September 2002, I enrolled in college. I began the process working as a security officer. I remember being this person who didn't have any skills or any title. In class that very first night, we were asked to introduce ourselves. While a vast majority of my classmates were managers at their jobs, I was just a security officer with a dream. I didn't know at one point about intimidation. It was something that my ex-wife talked about once being in school. Yet, here I was very much so. Yet, I knew I belonged. A year later, I dropped out because I did get a better job but the situation haunted me. I had to finish what I started.

In 2007, I graduated with my bachelor's degree. It was a happy occasion. My family and my church family celebrated my accomplishments. Sadly, it the same year I got divorced. I remember waiting in line to hear my name called thinking about all the pain and sacrifice it took to get to this point and I didn't have my cheerleader with me. After six months, I decided to continue my education. I had a bachelor's degree, the same as my father but I wanted to go farther for him, my daughter and my self. So I did. In 2009 on September 12th, I graduated with my masters. This degree was also bitter sweet. It was very hard and a lot work involved. It became very dark many days at the end. Yet, I survived. To God be the glory.

I had always been ashamed of my past. I was a smart kid who was picked on and bullied in school. I never got the girl. I never got any appreciation or respect. When I graduated from high school, I try going to college but I never got anywhere because I could not focus. I wound up being a depressed alcoholic and pot smoker. Yet, with God's grace He kept me. I made a whole lot of mistakes. Some of which I am still paying for. I never felt good enough. Do you know what its like to feel not good enough? Always second place. Nobody remembers second place. I remember not wanting to attend high school reunions because I was ashamed of where I was as a man. I had the skills inside but I wouldn't let them shine.

Recently, a pastor visiting my church laid his hands on me. He began to tell me that my past was over. That by the end of the summer, I would see God bring me out from it. For the first time in a long time, I feel good enough. I think about love despite the hurt I felt. This past summer has been horrible. I was depressed many days. But, God. He helped me. I think about the future. When my daughter looks at me. She can say my daddy got two degrees. She can think that education still means something. I have set the bar high. Truthfully, it should be higher. Yet, it is high enough for her to see but low enough for her to believe that she can do it too.

At the graduation, I saw some of my fellow classmates. People who I worked with. Who saw me cry and go through terrible amounts of pain and disappointment. We smiled at each other. "Yeah man, we made it!" One cat even called me, his hero. I chuckled at that. Yet he meant every word. I am not someone who can hide or mask his emotion. It comes out of my pores like sweat. So many times people saw me sad, angry, and in pain. Yet, they also saw that I kept my sense of humor. Many of my teachers remember me for a number of things. Hopefully, they also saw the one thing I wanted them to see the most. POTENTIAL. Some of my classmates even asked me if I would return to school to get my doctorate. Clearly, they saw it in me. I just brushed them off saying im just trying to enjoy this. Yet in the back of my mind. It is there. Either way, I feel good. God has blessed this old poor soul. After the graduation, I saw my daughter and father. My daddy looked me in the eye and told me he was proud of me. Every little boy, loves to hear that. That is all every little boy wants to hear from their daddy. I am proud of you son. Yes, I feel alright. I can tell my daughter that all daddy is trying to do is set an example and feel alright for himself. God be praised. I have nothing apart from Him.

Celebration of Life

Wow. God has allowed me to see another year. When I was a young man in my early 20s. I didn't think that I would see my 30s. In my 30s, I didn't think I would see my 40s. Yet, here I am 42 years young. When life is filled with many dangers and traps, you have a weird sense of whether or not you will able to escape those dangers and traps. I have battled depression which had led me to consider even suicide. Yet, God kept me going. God helped me get passed all the pain of my life. Life is amazing in the sense that you are not promised tommorow but for most of us, God gives us a tommorow to live for. I just graduated from college with my Master's degree. I have been blessed beyond measure. While it would be nice to have more money, more prestige, etc. I know that the life I do have is wonderful. Today, I dont have anything special planned. No big celebration. No big deal. Yet, inside I feel content to have life. The bible says that the dead know nothing, but it doesnt really speak on what living does know, except that God is in control and He is awesome. To all the people in my life who have wished me a happy birthday or extended their congrats on my accomplishments, I SAY TO ALL OF YOU, THANK YOU. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. YOU ARE MY CELEBRATION OF LIFE.

Kanye... dude whats up with that?

Kanye.
Kanye.
Kanye.
Man... what in the hell is wrong with you? How you gonna yank a microphone out of a winner's hand and then tell the winner she shouldn't have won? While you possess one of the nicest pens in the game, somebody needs to sit you down and tell you about yourself in a real way. Your antics are old. Dag. You are making it hard to root for you. Nobody can defend you on this one. While I know you apologized, dude some stuff is just ridiculous. While obviously MTV is scared you will throw another temper tantrum, they should have removed you from the premises. What's so odd is I dont even know the young lady you embarrassed. Dag, dude are you that full oil to the point that you dont think 30 seconds ahead of time? While your name will be trashed in the upcoming days for your behavior, Im just going to say that you need to really check yourself. I dont know what your people are telling you but Its kind of irresponsible on yours and their part. Your swagger is apart of your style which is cool. Yet, this doens't have anything to do with swag. You acted like a jerk at a party who has had one drink too many. Kanye remember a few years ago when you felt MTV was dissing you and you went off? Oh. how the mighty have fallen. Nobody is expecting you my brother to be perfect. However, you need a dose of humility. If that oil is dictating what you are doing, then its time to let that go. I hope you recover nicely. Dag, I wonder how Beyonce felt when you pulled this stunt. Then she had to show you how to have some character and help save the young lady's face. Yes. You was pulling for you big brother's wife but you probably pissed her off more than anybody. While Beyonce wont say nothing bad about you publically and privately because she just happens to be that classy, you definitely had to pull your foot out your mouth bruh. Its chess not checkers Ye. Frankie and Neffie thinks you need to chill out.

The Principle of Pain

The principle of pain,
teaches that you need the rain.
In order to appreciate the sunshine.
The principle of pain
teaches that you need to be made aware,
what is underneath here and there.
The principle of pain,
teaches that growth comes at a cost.
One that does not learn
will only know less and loss.

So while I am in school,
graduating with honors.
Instead of being in front of your honor.
Where is the well wishes,
pats on the back when you need em'
If you nuture agony,
something is going to feed em.
Everybody going through something.
So dont think its about you.
I just wish hell,
that there is something better to do.

Common sense is free and heaven sent,
but hell to pay for it.
So most of the time we all rent,
a room in heartbreak hotel.
I long for the days of Monday night with Howard Cosell.
But now the games are for sell.
Four letter networks cant see us.
So they feel like braille.
Life was so simple way back then.
Life was so nice with all my friends.
But now life got us in a matrix,
if there isnt one, they invented it to fix.
Our minds flow freely but only under conditions.
Our hearts tear constantly over positions.
And pain is my only friend.
So we spend countless days and nights playing pretend.
Like everything is cool,
when Im a sneeze away from drowning in the pool,
in my tears.

What is pain now trying to teach me.
Why is it so hard to reach me?
Maybe I just cut off my cellphone.
Maybe I just want to be all alone.
Maybe Im just tired of the same.
Maybe Im just tired of women and their games.

But pain is a friend.
There are no falsies or pretends.
She keeps it real no matter what.
She keeps it honest with no buts.
Im just wondering is life all in vain.
While I get my PhD in the principle of pain.


Richard J Wright (2009)

Taken from Anthology: The Secret Lives of Richard J Wright

Celebrating Alone.

Happy Birthday to me...





Congrats on the Graduation! ...where is everybody?




Why do I feel so alone?





Thank You Jesus.












Thanks Jesus.

The Offering

I recently had a conversation with a sister who always talks about what she wants a man to do. This same sister unfortunately has a jacked up attitude, which is why probably she doesn't have a man. I told her point blank that her attitude was on of the reasons that holds her back. Now, life sometimes can be cruel. Our attitudes are shaped by our respective histories. I told her that she needs to be more grateful for the things that she does have versus the things she doesn't have. At the end of the conversation, I asked her what can she offer a man really. She came up to the conclusion that she didn't really have anything to offer. Which is why her attitude is stank in the first place.

Sometimes you have to take the lemons that life gives and make lemonade. You may want strawberry soda but if all you have is lemons then you work with whatever you have. She then sadly decided she didn't want to talk any further. I hoped I had given her something to think about because I do beleive that your attitude determines your altitude. Hey, life isnt fair. Then again who ever said it was. You have to play the cards you are dealt but its the way you play them that make up the difference.

In relationships one of things I told her was that compromise has to take place. You cant have your cake and eat it too and expect those you are relationships with to just deal with it. Only a sucker falls for that. People too often want it to be all about them. This the reason divorce is so high in our nation. Selfishness. Selfishness never saves a relationship. It always kills them. If you want to break up with someone, then just make the whole relationship about you. My friend probably felt a sense of brokeness because at the end of day. As much as she thought about what a man should do for her. She probably hasn't stopped long enough to think about what she could do for a man. As much as sex plays in relationships, it will and has never kept a relationship afloat. I dont care how great the sex is. A woman will leave a man with good sex for a man who can provide security and comfort. While our selfishness tend to be fleeting moments in life, which is why people cheat or form emotional bonds with people outside the relationship. Staying power in relationships are about communication and sacrifice. So ask yourself, what can really offer someone. If all you think about your needs, then that is all you will have to deal with. Your needs unmet and your heart unfulfilled. It is what it is.

The Longing

I can smell your fragrance,
long after you passed me.
I can see your lips,
that chained my mind constantly.
If I can hold you,
It would be an answer to a dream.
My thoughts of you swirl of untold fantasies.
This longing I have,
simply ending with you being with me.

Richard J Wright

A Letter from my Heart

To whom it may concern, namely you.
Why limit my capacity because of what you been through?
I was created to hold love and it express it freely.
You cannot bottle up my passion and be greedy.
What ever you put in me is going to speak clearly.
You cant hide behind your mind sincerely.
Perhaps you should think about the things you have
versus what you think you lost.
You have to feed me something and count the cost.
You cannot freeze me and shut the world out.
Its better have a thicker skin and choose another route.
You cannot love every woman,
only one is enough.
Take the time to be patient,
haven't you figured out, that life is rough?
Love is the only thing in this world that makes sense.
Why put up walls and an electric fence?
Do you want to hurt people, trying to get to me?
When I want to get to them myself freely.
I am not a dog who you can chain,
I am aware that you are tired of the pain.
Yet, I was created to hold love.
Stop the madness you have been thinking of.
Instead choose wisely and dont jump the gun.
It is better to try love and walk away or run.
You think you know what is better for me?
I am like a stallion on the plains,
I was made and created to live and love freely.

Richard J Wright (2009)

What is wrong with some White Christians?

Lately, I have been dealing with my own issues. However, Im taking a break from that nonsense to discuss a real dangerous topic: The trouble with some of our White Christians. How is it possible in 2009 that racism is still raping the soul of America? Truthfully, racism is one of Satan's most powerful weapons. With the election of our first Black president Barrack Obama, we have seen the fangs of some whites proverbially manifest. There are cowards in the pulpit praying for President Obama's death. I am not even going to give these idiots any pub on this site. You want to know more than google it.

The health care issue has been the powder keg of choice. While many Americans grow leery of the democrats issue of having a government sanctioned health care plan for many Americans who do not have health care; It has divided the country most along race lines. However, I ask a question. Have you been someone without health care. Do you know how terrible it is to go the emergency room without health care insurance? Personally, I have been blessed most of my working life to have health insurance. There were times I thought I couldn't afford it. Yet, I still signed up for it because it is one of those things in life that is better have and not need it than to need it and not have it. I can tell you that the emergency room has been used by Americans as a first and last resort. Recently the emergence of many urgent care facilities has arise to stem this tide. Yet, again the issue is health care. It is better to pay a co-pay more than to pay a flat fee. Either way, prescriptions are also an issue. High blood pressure medicine is expensive. Yet, if you do not have insurance it could be a choice of eating or not. I am not here to debate the issue but it serves as a backdrop to one of America's oldest sicknesses, racism.

Lets be honest. Many White folks do not like Black people period. It has been that way for the longest in this nation. Electing a Black man into the highest office in the country was not the America many Whites envisioned. Yet, God and destiny had made a determination that was going to happen. Some whites have gone as far as to label president Obama as the anti-Christ. Poor stupid White folks. What is hilarious is the fact that most of our recent presidents have been labeled as the anti-Christ too. Also, let us not forget the stupid Black people who also join in on this smelly dung heap. They too will not get any pub here. You want to know about them, google them to your heart's content. What is the problem? Why is race still a factor in this nation? Well, history teaches us that Whites have a deep seeded fear. This is Satan's tricknology towards Whites. They poison their babies with their fear and the tradition of fear lives on. Do Whites think that they are closer to God possessing this type of fear? Its a running joke among people of color that White people are scared and scary in general. We run into them on our jobs alot. I have called out Whites on their political views. Do they think that right wing talk radio and ring wing media are preaching the gospel? It's funny on the surface and a crying shame at the roots.

So while many people of color enjoy one of histories greatest achievements, Whites are sitting in their cars commuting to work and sitting at the dinner table lamenting over the state of the nation. White supremacists are enjoying new found membership and status. White preachers are using the sacred desk to spew hate for a man and his "socialist" politics. Socialist politics. Yeah right. The few idiots who have a forum are using fear and scare tactics to make gun companies lick their chops. Check out who are the chief gun owners in this nation. Google it because I am not going to waste this space talking about who is afraid in this nation. Yes, White people are scared. Yet, I caution them with this statement. If White Christians believe that they are right in their backward stance of siding with the desire that the President of the United States fails or worst, even dies. You will only serve as the dumping ground of what people all over the country and the world know about Whites. They are scared and vicious. History will not record your achievements as great. History will simply record you as a people who were decieved by yourselves because you possess the weakest emotion mankind has ever known. Fear. The bible teaches that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of love and a sound mind. So, White America what do you really have and more than that, who gave you your fear? It certainly wasn't a carpenter from Nazareth. Check yourself. Those are your weakest links, your fear and your inability to check your own people. Though they are a pathetic minority among you. Like reality television, they are making good White Americans look very bad. You ought to be ashamed.

The trouble with being alone

As a man, I have needs. The needs I have concerning the opposite sex is most perplexing. I want intimacy, I want sex, I want companionship. What is the problem? Women are too complex. They want so much from you. Yet, they dont take the time to fully appreciate what you do want to give them. Yes, as a man we want sex, but that isnt all we want. If a woman offers up her body, especially in fear that the man will go on to the next woman, then that is extortion and not love. Why would you believe you have love in the first place? Men try their best to not be so emotional because emotions can drive you like a slave. Emotions will make you compromise your character and even your standards. A man wants to know that the woman he is with will be there for them, good or bad. Too many women are quick to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. Yet, when the woman has the trouble, the man is expected to bear the trouble. I have tried my dear best to love women past their pains, past relationships, and baggage and all their drama. Recently i have met two women who are married, both dont live with their husbands and they have been separated for over 5 year periods. Yet, they wont get a divorce for whatever reason. Its crazy because they expect me to deal with that. At the end of the day, you pick and choose people who have problems and issues. No one is perfect but some stuff is flat out hypocritical. If I have an issue I am damned for it. Yet, I am expected to deal with females and their issues. Things like this make me wonder if I will ever get married again. Right now its a landslide in the favor of not happening.

Was Truly

Dear So and So,

Its funny how times turns into memories.
Wonder if ever you ever remember me.
Had to admit that you leaving hurt me to the core.
But when i heard you got married my heart hit the floor.
Knew I should have closed that door long time ago.
But I left it open for you to walk through,
and what did you do?
Left me shook with the blues.
I thought about it day after day.
You had to have it your way.
So I wish you well and pray your marriage dont fail.
I had to blaze a trail
one full of fears and so many tears.
But one thing I didnt know at first,
it could have ended much worse.

But now I see the sunshine,
and things are fine.
I was in a hole but I climbed out.
Chose another route.
No more pain and hurt no longer
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Now im on some Herculean hostility.
I got my swag plus God-given abilities.

Now you can catch me in the drop top,
with the deuce in the air.
Love is hard but I know its fair.
I dont care how much you miss my daughter,
she dont need you,
she got her father.
So dont bother asking how we doing.
We lounging in a three story townhome,
God got us, so you can really just go on.

I watched God mend my heart
in the midst of the storm.
I watched God and His marvelous work performed.
Now the phone rings off the hook.
Ladies looking to pick up the one you left and shook.
But I just take my time and chill.
No rush to get hitched thats just how I feel.
Cause the grass aint greener,
it just have more weeds
and its gonna take everything you got,
to tend to its needs.
It all looks good on the surface.
But you cant tell me that for one second you aint nervous.

As for me, I hold my head.
Keep my focus and get this bread.
My eyes have bled
for the last time.
If you need to hear it again,
me and Ash are fine.
So your phone calls will go unanswered.
You chose your space,
and now its all up to fate.
As for me, I will serve the LORD.
Keep my humility and be restored.

So I say adieu for the last time.
I'll be in the H on my grind.
I aint hard to find but dont look this way.
Stay right there cause you have been took,
thats all I can say.

Sincerely,
Was Truly.