The Normalcy of Abnormality

Have you ever felt that nothing in your life ever seems to pan out? Have you ever felt that you are doomed to fail? Guess what? You are not alone actually. Too many people walk around and feel like this. Life is not suppose to be this way. Life can be percieved as boring, uninspired, and challenging but nobody is suppose to feel depressed or be depressed all the time. Have you ever felt like things were going so right, that something wrong has to happen to make you feel okay? Yeah, its called Murphy's law. If something can wrong, it will. However, do not get it twisted. Life should not be lived as if you are waiting for things to go wrong. Failures are opportunities. Missteps and setbacks are teaching mechanisms. Nobody is supposed to fail. If one is to fail, then fail forward. I would rather fail going forward, than succeed going backwards. If things are jacked up in your life, then do something about it! Do not sit there and take it. God is too good and life is too sweet for anybody to run around feeling like its always raining.

Love is a way

Love is a way,
to past the time.
Like watching the sun set,
sipping lemonade
through the window shade.

Love is a way,
to keep the sadness away.
Like friends and family barbecues,
ribs and red beans.
Relishing the moments.

Love is a way,
to remind you that hate is a bad word.
Always heard,
but seldom thought to be absurb.


Love is a way,
to be in the way,
to walk in the way,
and following the way.
Love is the way.


Richard J Wright (2011)

What do the Lonely Do for the Holidays?

Yes, Christmas is upon us once again. Praise the name of the LORD. Yes, its another holiday season where presents and lights and trees and smiles and worst of all, depression is prevalent.

Now, I could provide a plethora of scriptures to the help encourage but im going to take the Jethro approach. You know Jethro right, no not the hick from Beverly Hillbillies but Jethro from the bible. Jethro was Moses father in law. He just gave Moses some sound advice. He didnt preach to him or offer some deep prophetic word, he just gave him some practical advice.

What am I talking about? Well, a lot singles will find themselves shut in. Watching television, wishing they had somebody to keep them company. The holidays do have a way of magnifying things in your life. So, here are few suggestions for the holiday lonely blues.

1) Hang out with family. Family is the best during the holidays. Its a chance to reconnect and bond.

2) Take a trip. A road trip, train or plane is a good thing. Seeing some new things are always a good thing. It gives you a chance to relax, reflect and recharge your batteries.

3) Make it a night on the town. A nice restaurant, poetry spots, jazz cafes, coffee shops are cool places to hang out.

4) Get together with other singles and have a little shindig. Cook some food. Go to Red Box. Great CDs and just chill. Board games, etc.

5) Volunteer. People need encouragement. Elderly and shut ins. Homeless shelters. You can even start a toy and food drive. Dont wait for someone else to do it. You start it. There is no law when it comes to pouring out love.

Now, you wont be able to perhaps do these things all the time. However, if you take the time to purpose yourself towards productivity and not having a pity party. You will be surprise how much you will accomplish.

So this holiday season, do not sit at home with the blues. Be active. Be alive. Believe.


Richard J Wright

Holiday Issues... To believe or not.

Today is Thanksgiving. Now there are many stories about Thanksgiving that give people reason to celebrate and many stories that cause people not to celebrate. What is a responsible upstanding thought provoking intelligent people to do? Celebrate or not celebrate.

To each his own.

While I can get with some revolutionaries on somethings, others I cannot. Its like the conscious fellow who has a family full of folk who celebrate together and he doesnt bother to come by because he believes he is making a statement. Let me pull your coat onto something. You not helping or hurting anyone. You are just dissing your people. While the commercial success of holidays like Thanksgiving are questionable. Take this as food for thought. Every person decides how live and think each day. If it takes a holiday to get the family together, why piss on an opportunity to build, break bread, and share?

I remember Professor X from the X Clan relating a holiday story. He was talking about how a friend of his invited him to his house. It was cold outside and there was nothing to do. He and his friend went inside and he was welcomed like family and learned a lesson. Its like the word nigger. You take what was given in venom and make an antidote. So to my brothers and sisters who are Christian, agnostic, atheists, spiritualists, thanksgiving may not be your cup of tea but there isnt nothing wrong being with family and friends over a meal.

I laugh at some of my friends because as deep as they may think they are. They are a puddle in the wilderness. I once ran in these same circles which makes me laugh and cry because you come to understand a great number of things. Often we exchange the matrix for another. You only become free of them, when you realize who has authored the matrixes of the world. The most powerful element in the universe is love. Love triumphs knowledge, information, kingdoms, pricipalities and powers. I once worked with a guy who was Jewish by family bloodlines but he was an athiest. I used to kill him with his hypocritical mindset. He didnt believe in the torah but that didnt stop him from taking Jewish holidays off at work. Then I realized something, it was his perogative to believe or not or to do whatever.

So to each his own.

Some of my Christian friends are stauch believers in not celebrating Christmas, Easter and the like. Its funny, politics make for strange bedfellows. I could put some of my friends who are on opposite sides together and they would find a common ground. No wonder the White Supremacists and Black Muslims could work together. But again.

To each his own.

Where in the Sam Hayaale U Been?

Dag, its been a minute. Where have I been? Why have I neglected this blog? Hard to say actually. If somebody was reading it, I might feel a bit guilty but since no one is banging down my email or door for it. Its been a proverbial yawn. Honestly, I haven't been really inspired to do a lot of writing. Well, that isnt completely true. I have been busy. I recently wrote the Christmas play, the youth at my church are going to perform. For the most part, my pen has been down. However, that is about to change. A sister of mine wants me to write for her ministry website. So, writing has been happening. Just not here. I am trying to change that. My computer needs work too, so thats an issue clearly. A few things have been happening. I am not going to get into them now. I will be writing all day. Needless to say, enjoy your holiday and I will be back with you a day or two. God bless until then.

Random Thoughts Birthday Edition

I watched a lot of footage from the 9/11 commemoration. A lot of tears.

Its been 15 years since Tupac died. Incredible, how time flies.

Hip Hop Videos used to be fun to watch back in the day. Now they are crap like most of the music.

I had 3 birthday wishes. Two phone calls. One text. But about 20 wishes on facebook. How ironic does technology make life.

Cant help but Im pissed at a few people.

Life is funny sometimes.

She is cute but she is not the one.

Im going somewhere after bible study tonight.

Its good to see another birthday.

Labor Day Blues

Let me tell you something, I work hard. In fact, I would say I work very hard. Roughly, im pulling 55 hours a week. Am I getting rich? No. Is the overtime appreciated, absolutely. However, I was telling a friend today that sometimes I have psych myself up for the task. While I appreciate job security, I am thinking that I am built for something much better. Hopefully, God will open that door to better things. Until then, I am going to chill, eat some barbecue, and thank God for Labor Day. Because tommorow is coming and Im a little irritated about it, lol. Nah, just kidding.

The Pulling

We are living in interesting times. God is up to something clearly. He is allowing things to be exposed. There was a time whenever somebody in the church did something, it could be covered up or worked over in regards to damage control. Well with the internet and technology, as the old saying goes, the jig is up.

Recently a well known pastor, died and the circumstances surrounding his death are peculiar. While I wont go into that situation, we all know of the bishop who was allegedly doing things to young boys. That situation is horrible.

Both of these men, had things pulling at them. The truth is we all do. If we do not deal with our issues privately, they can unfortunately become public. While I realize that we are all human, make no mistake. As Christians, we are held to a high standard. Therefore, we cannot use the human excuse. We have to fight our temptations instead of inviting them. I am guilty of this myself. I realize that there are things inside of me that are not Godly and I need to constantly work on making sure these things in my flesh do not rule my life. We all have something pulling at us. If we say we don't, then we are lying.

Happy Birthday Mama & Micheal

today is my mama's birthday. plus its also Micheal Jackson's birthday too. i spent a little time with my mommy. i gave her some roses, a card, and heath klondike bars (she loves em) i am fortunate to have a great mommy. thanks God!


as far as Micheal goes, hey what can i say. i miss him. happy birthday to the king of pop.

Would You Talk To Me

There is a conversation,
I would love to have with you.
It can be about anything.
Just as long as it is with you.

We can talk politics, war, music, religion,
sneakers, fashion, movies, or even good and bad decisions.
A good conversation is like a good jazz composition.
Everything is timing and improvising.
And with you, I can see the melody of words between you and me.

I see the hour getting late,
but the conversation getting better.
I hear the laughter in our words,
the funny in our thoughts.
I just wish we could be right here,
for a moment. Freeze it.
Replay it.
Then again for a lifetime with you,
I wouldn't have to.
But for now, I just make this request you see,
would you, could you...
talk to me?

Making Room for the "One"

People in your life sometimes prepare you for things. I honestly believe that people can be apart of your life but not in your life. What do you mean by that preacher? I think people can hold certain attention to your life but not be a force or object in your life. We can be influenced by people or we can influence people. Either way, it can be something else to know the reality of your life. What do I mean?

Being single, has offered me the company of a few women. In meeting and learning these women, I have learned much about them but more importantly, more about myself. When you first meet someone, they can sway your attention. They get prompt phone calls. They get late night conversations. They get early morning chats. Then reality sets in. You come to understand that they are not the "one".

As a man. I have to find the "one". So often, you meet people and they are cool to talk with and even hang out with but you know they are not the "one". So basically you wind up wasting your time or worst maybe even settling. Women are strange creatures. Loveable. Funny. Smart. Yet, at their worst not understandable. Complexity isnt a bad thing but for a man it can be a frustrating thing. I am not complaining. However, do not fault me for deciding to look elsewhere when you are not making it easy to understand you. So sometimes, you have to go through your phone rolodex and the one in your mind and begin to delete old numbers.

I do know everything but I do know that the one, is a space filler. You cannot entertain or consider others when she is in play. While the one may be hard to spot from initial contact, she begins to make herself seen with her fruits and she has no complications.

Complications are those things that one cannot ignore when dealing with someone. For example, baby daddy issues, or "oh you still married, after not being with your husband over five years?" Who does that? I tell you who, many women out here. Parading themselves as available but not officially. At the end of the day, we all have our issues but some stuff cannot be ignored. For women, its the same deal. If I have issues, I need to deal with my issues. I dont want my issues to be "your" issues. I met a sister a couple of years ago who was married. She was married to a guy who left her over 10 years ago. Yet, she remained married. Why? She told me, she didnt have the money to file divorce. Well, needless to say, I couldn't do anything with that because it wasnt my issue. Should a person wait to divorce until someone new comes along? That is crazy. That example has been only one a few situations that have turned me off to dating.

Right now, I am not dating. I want to, but at this moment in time. I do not feel it is best. I have friends who like me but I cannot fully be persuaded to go forward because I know they are not the one. It is what it is. Until I meet her. Its just something to do until something better comes along. That isnt fair to them, so its best that they remain unclaimed and are able to date whomever. I have stories for days but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many stories I have. All that matters is the one and that story has yet to take place.

Your Smile

Your smile,
makes the day feel brighter.
When I gaze at you,
I cannot help but feel lighter.
Your warmness,
is a peace all in itself.
It is the only thing I know.
It is the only thing I feel can help.
While I have nothing that compares,
your smile gives me an awareness.
That life is good.
That life means more.
That your smile says to me,
"I am a welcoming door"
Enter and be not afraid.
My smile is the coolness of shade.
Though it is mine,
it is a piece of artistry
for you to know.


Richard J Wright (2011)

Finding quietness in the middle of Noise

There are several things taking place in my life. For each of those things, I have several tears, several smiles, several laughs, several concerns. In the middle of this storm. I have to find quietness. Many times, its in prayer. Sometimes, its a song. Sometimes, a book. While none of us care for pain, it is apart of life. Sometimes that pain is the noise of our lives. We need to find that quietness that only God can give. This is where I am.

An Open Letter to my future wife VII

Hi Sweetie,

How you doing? I hope all is well in your world. Me, I dont know sometimes. Yet what I do know is that I miss you forwardly. After all, how can you miss someone you have not met. I miss you because I need you to get out of my mind and onto the real canvas of life. Some of my friends have found love. I am happy for them. I wish I was one of them. Even now, I want to go and take a midnight cruise with you. Listening to old school R&B or Jazz. Well, thats about it for now. Until then, I love you much, I love you more. I love you most.

XOXOXO

Richard.

Fatherhood Follies and Face Ups

You know since my child came into this world, I was smitten. My daughter is a crazy little female version of me. That is scary. I love this little girl. Well, the little girl who was snug as a bug as an infant is now a acne fighting, frizzy hair, boy crazy 14 year old. Yeah. Pray my strength. As a father it is my duty to warn, threaten, scream, prevent, and protect this female teenager from nasty little boys and perverted older boys and sick men. It is what it is.

Now, being that she's a female. She has these emotions which half the time are hard to understand. She likes boys. Ugh. Its not so bad. But with the bible, bail money and bullets. I figure, we gonna be alright. One thing is for sure, you cannot sleep on anything. The smallest inkling or crack can become a cave for carnality. There are days when I realize Im going to be the bad guy. Im not interested in being my daughter's friend. I have to be her parent. Yeah, I like being the cool dad, but too often her actions have the cool dad hotter than the fish grease at Timmy Chan's.

There is a school year coming quick fast and in a hurry. Her first year of high school. Lord help me. We should be good. Im expecting great things for her. We pushing hard this year. Sometimes you want things more for your child than they do. That's okay. I think most parents do but maybe not willing to admit it for fear that they may actually be living their lives through their children. Its important for them to let them have their life. Growing up is like that driving school car. You have to let them get in the driver's seat. But remember, the brake pedal on your side is there to help them and you. Whew! I love this life.

"Call it an agressive approach"

Just imagine, if met you this morning. Courted you this afternoon. Gave you a ring this evening. Married you tonight. Do you think it would last?

Hard to say. This is based upon a tweet I sent a few months ago.

Love is the most wonderful thing in the world.

It also is the most unpredictable thing in the world.



Its statements like the one above that make me believe as the bible says, love believes all things.
Yet, what if love came to you in that package?
Yeah, you would be looking for Aston Kutcher, thinking you were on Punk'd or something.

While I do know that is certainly too fast. Things are weird like that today.

It makes you wonder.

If somebody was to ask me whether or not if I would do something like this, I would put a smirk on my face and say, "call it an agressive approach".

An Open Letter to my Wife VI

Hey Sweetie,

Just sitting here and thinking about you. I am trying to work some new things. Yet, I gotta be honest. I dont know if they are going to work or not. I wish you were here to give me some kind of feed back. Thats thing about you, you are not here but I am wishing that you are. It is my prayer that one day, these little small letters will reach your hands and minister comfort because that is what they do for me. I have a stubborn hope when it comes to you. I forwardly miss you.

Love,

Richard.

Dude, where ya been?

Where have you been? What is the excuse now? Im so tired of this nonsense. How are you going to do the stuff you do. You disappear and reappear expecting me to understand? You dont think about nobody but yo self
Well, got that out the way.

What's up good people? I have been tripping lately. Just not here. I have been tweeting a bit and facebooking certainly. But I kinda have walked away from some of my old spots. So I decided to relaunch or restart this here blog. Now I treat my blog like a girlfriend that I dont like being around after awhile. You know she's cute and she makes you laugh but at times you just rather not be bother. It becomes work. Hello, somebody.

So, whats next? Well in the near future a new facelift. More writings. And yes, I am going resurrect my other blog Darth Asylum which has been on life support for too doggone long. So I will handling my business with that. Be patient. Until then, there a few pieces I will drop here and as the old Whodini song goes, "then we gonna get to the good part!" Until then, watch them haters especially the one who see in the mirror.

Relaunch

Greetings, its been a little while. I am currently in the stages of relaunching this blog and another I have truly ignored. Yeah, I have been too busy. Anyhoo, see ya soon!

Peace!

Random Thoughts...

I am in a jacked up position right about now. Its only a temporary condition. Thank God for that. The fact that I am here makes me wonder, how the world did I get here?

At first I thought I would be psyched about moving to Fresno. Im not.
Maybe that couch I couldnt fit in the door had something to do with it.

At first I was excited about my second book. Im not.
I read a few pages and for whatever reason. I didnt like it. Im just fickle like that I guess.

Right now, I need some normalcy.

Im dating, but I dont know if she is the one for me, long term.

I need a bigger bed. #backache

God is good. This situation is tough. I will be fine.
Not gonna let em see me sweat.

Did I mention, Im broke this week?

Yeah, I know.

Why Black People Make Me Cry

There is something to be said about loving one's self and people. There is a burden that goes deep down to affirm and preserve legacy and life of one's self. There is this thought in the Black community that speaks to the idea that we hate ourselves. Unfortunately, that is exactly what we do in various ways.

When I look at the accomplishments of our people, I am inspired to no end. Our people suffered the worst form of servitude known to the civilized world and produced greatness inspite of the conditions and circumstances. From the bottom of the totem pole to the highest office in the world. Truly nothing to sneeze at.

Here is when this things comes off the tracks. Some think that President Obama is the antichrist. Go figure. If a Black man is going to be president, then the whole totality of evil must be behind it. As a Black man I have been called nigger by whites and nigga by my own people. Nigger, Nigga, Nicca, whatever, tomato, tomato. Same thing. Does one make me more sore than the other? Absolutely. While I hate prejudice and the pain that comes with it, I am more injured and hurt when it comes directly from my own people.

Recently, I recived an envelope in the mail from an address of a relative. The address was the address of an aunt. I sent her a copy of my book Visions of Heaven. Her son who lives with her, decides to send me a care package. Basically, it was pictures of Black people doing demonic and worldly things. There was a depiction of Uncle Sam as Satan. The whole crux of this nonsense was to "teach" me the errors of my ways. It was crazy because somebody took something so pure in my eyes and made it to be the bane of my existence. He was basically calling me out for being a Christian. Now that makes my blood boil. Dont insult my believe system because in turn you are insulting my mind. It left a bad taste in my mouth, needless to say.

I dont debate scriptures with people whose job seems to be to tear them down. I prove the scriptures through my life. If the scriptures are contridicting, it is because we are contridicting in applying them or understanding them. I respect other people's beliefs. Believe in a goat, a bottle of beer, or a football team. Its your life. However, people can cross the line. It is here when Black people make me cry.

I was talking with a friend and we were talking about this viral video of people dancing in Walmart and acting a fool. What might be considered as fun and humorous is based upon a person's perspective. Im not going to break down that foolishness other than to say that our people bled, sweated and died for freedom, the right to vote, civil rights, and human rights. Not for our youth to dance around in stores who drain our pockets day after day while we own nothing but goods from China. Sometimes funny just isn't funny.

We just lost a great poet and musician. Gil Scott Heron. The things spoke on in his day mirror what is going on today. It is what it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9woebI-td4

What I have Learned

In life, especially daily life it is a bonus if you learn something. Folks always saying "you learn something new everyday". Truth is, some of the stuff we learn isnt always worth knowing or learning. Yet, when a watershed moment comes, its precious.

In life, my life, I have learned that people are only faithful to whatever it is they believe in. Whether it is religion, politics, or people in general. It bothers me at times when I yearn to be taken seriously. Sometimes, life reminds you that people are just into themselves or things that are perhaps better in focusing on.

I am dating a young lady, someone who I really like. She is smart, funny, and cool. When I look at all the pain I have encounted through heartbreak, I realize that all of it was for this lesson. This moment. This situation. Will it yield fruit? Hard to say. However, we do talk future speak. Thats always a good thing.

So what is it that I have learned really? Well, I have learned to not let it be about me. Life needs to be about people. People need to see the mercy of God. We live a merciless society. Love needs to respond to fear and hate. My owb desires to be appreciated and affirmed, are rooted in not serving my self but others.

Random Thoughts Sunday night blues

...She is so fione. I gotta make her mine.

...God I need a breakthough in my life, like yesterday.

...I wanted to see her tonight.

...God i need you like Smokie Norful type need.

...I should have bought the new Mandisa album.

...Im going to bed alone, again.

...Someday, my queen will come.

An Open Letter to my Future Wife V

Dear Sweetheart,

I am sitting here wondering whats going on. I have been dealing with some issues with my daughter. She's 14. Do you have any advice? I could sure use it. Things are getting crazy now the book is out. I just got my first promo for the book up on facebook and twitter. I hope somebody buys my book. I hope people will tell somebody about the book. I just hope it blesses somebody.

I wish you were here. I need a hug. I feel so alone at times. Things are hectic and crazy but I still feel alone. Im trying to be patient but it just hard. I want to sit in the back seat my car with you and listen to some old school R&B. Just watching the sun set. Im going through right now. I could really use a friend. Miss you forward,

Love.

Richard.

Visions of Heaven Promo

Here is my promo for my new book, tis superduperawesomefresh!

Faker than a 3 dollar bill

I hate blogs.

Yeah, I know. This is coming from someone that writes one.

I just hate blogs that are nothing more than little or large soap boxes for snitches.

Yeah, I said it. Snitches.

Cats online, are always breaking the code.

If you gotta ask what the code is, then you don't need to know.

I dont even talk about none of the stuff these cats are spitting on their blogs and I know there is certain things you dont discuss or disclose.

Why are they doing it?

One reason.

Women.

First of all, most dudes dont sit at computers all day and read blogs. Real cats have jobs, and real things to do. So who is at the computer half the day?
Women.

So cats begin to talk to these women.

Some of em brag about their conquests. For whatever reason woman like when a man brags on his sexual prowness, then get attitudes when dude cant deliver. I never will understand that. Women act like they hate players, when they really love players. Truthfully, a woman will respect you if you just be upfront and tell her the real deal. They seem to get over the fact you married or have a wife quickly. Also, quiet as it is kept, women really want to be men. You can dress like it, act like it, talk like it, get paper like it and at the of the day you still have to sit down to urinate.

I dont subscribe to many blogs because I find them very self absorbing. I am even at a point where I dont even know if I want to continue the one I have. Now, make no mistake, Im not hating on dudes that are bring something significant to the table. Yet, if you just runnin your mouth about bending some random chick over, dude condom or not, you are winning about as good as Charlie Sheen.

Women seem to like this weak kind of stuff.

Am I saying women are silly.

Yeah, that is exactly what I am saying.

Women always talk about they want a real man. When all they listen to, watch, and admire are characters faker than a 3 dollar bill. Then some em get burned and get on their blogs and want to blast cats. The game is hard but fair.

Truthfully, this is a generation of weaklings.
Cats are sissified.
Im glad I am old school.
And here is the deal, im not saying our generation is perfect or any better. But we did understand the code. With the internet of course, the code has just gone out the window. Now we have a bunch of cowards with no character masquerading as journalists. Thank God some of yall have cut and paste degrees because your blogs would suck without them.

Yeah Im dissing. Yeah Im hating.
I did mention I hate blogs, didn't I?

Yeah its Friday, but What Part of the Game is That?

Things around here are crazy. I have lost some papers and its not even funny. I have until Monday to find them. Its going to look a lot like Hurricane Ike around here. Kudos to myself for being the dumbest citizen on planet earth. Anyway, I was reading a blog this morning. The whole talk about the perfect person. The writer decides to give the women because about 90 percent of the responses came from them the opportunity to build their perfect mate.

Uh...yeah.

One thing about those kind of foolish projects. They only show how foolish we are. But, I guess some think thats what Fridays are for. What would my perfect woman be like?

Hmmmm...........

You know what, I cannot even go there today, Friday or not.

Its like me asking God to move out the way and let me do this because You dont know what you're doing.

I know... "Can't we have some kinda fun".

Thats the problem, people.

We cannot focus on people because we too busy wanting people to be like other people, physically or mentally.

And folks got nerve to wonder why they are single. No discernment. No Holy Ghost conviction.

For me, one thing I cannot stand is a dumb woman or worst a smart woman acting dumb.

You know being single is great at times but I swear some of the topics that run through our noodles are ridiculous.

All in the name of the ending of a work week.

What part of the game is that?

What do you call a Black Man...

I am a Black man. There is a lot in that statement. One of the greatest things, a person can know is themselves, particularly their identity. However, with that trip is a bag of bitter candies. Sometimes your badge of honor can be a badge of shame.


Recently, I was at a movie theater and I was leaving the theater and my car would not start. I knew I needed a jump. There were two white females in front of the theater talking. I walked up to them about half way where my car was and ask if they could help me with a jump. They simply ignored me. Was it my skin color? Was it my gender? Was it both? One lady turned and quickly walked away, while the other jumped into her car and sped off.

To say I felt like crap would be an understatement.

I called a friend and vented my frustration. Before I go further, I did ask someone else, a white guy and his girlfriend for a jump and they happily obliged. Now back to this. I called and friend and vented. She simply told me that she would have basically done the same thing. I'm like what? She was like they didnt know you and do you watch the news.

The news. Really?

So its the media's fault I couldnt get any assistance? Paranoia? Fear?

Ah, fear. The devil's biggest weapon and America's biggest cash cow.

So how does a guy in my position supposed to feel?
Am I to be understanding? Am I to be pitied? What exactly or how exactly am I supposed to think or feel? Its possible that they reacted out of fear. Yet, how am I as a Black man supposed to take that. As an insult. Or do I need to just shut up and deal with it.

I dont want to make seem like the the model citizen of the world but I am a college graduate, a bible teacher and minister. Those things of course are not visible to the naked eye. So in some jacked up way, it is what it is. Reminds me of a quote Malcolm X once made. "What do you call a Black man with a PhD? Nigger.

Not fair.

Learning 101

Too many teachers,

too many preachers,

and God bless em all,

but there are very few reachers.



The knowledge you think you know,

isnt worth salt in bread

if you can display and show.



Ya see, as long as arm chair revolutionaries,

and facebook prophets, and you tube messiahs,

and corner store sooth sayers run ruffshod.

You will never sit still to really have an encounter with God.



Because Im sorry yall.

I cant get down with the get down,

if the fruit aint blooming around.



As you learn,

the one thing you must know,

is that you dont know nothing.

And the more you learn,

the less you know.

Giving real meaning to the phrase "less is more"



And while you bask in the waters of something you think is truth.

Make sure it has properties of the elements able to produce.

Otherwise its masturbation.

Feels good, but cant create nothing but a sticky situation.

Grace is the for the humble,

while pride is a cell

in the bottom of hell.



This is the reason kings are dethroned,

the reason most prideful and arrogant are alone.

This is the reason the wise lose wisdom,

the reason singers lose their rhythm.



So learn to create and create to learn.

all the while managing to be concerned.

For what are your words, if no life is in them?

Where is grace? Where is peace? Where is love?

Not in a poem, or in a conversation.

But in a life, in someone's hands, in someone's deeds.

This is learning 101, and all of its needs.



Richard J Wright (2011)

VOH Update II

Well, well, well. Visions of Heaven has officially gone to print. The book is in now at the printing press stage of publishing. WOOHOO! Time to get to work!

Exiling the 'R' Word

Relationships.

In and of themselves, they are can be fulfilling and even great. Yet, they can be darker than the ring around the collar a two day old shirt.

I went to a singles BBQ that the singles ministry was having at my church. Except for one problem, married folk was there. (just like folks to not stay inside the lines) Anyhoo. Somebody mentioned the word men at the domino table, which yours truly was holding court of course. I interrupted the comment and said that they shall be no talk of men and women at this table. Too much estrogen and testosterone start mixing ideas and WORLD WAR III erupts. I wasn't going to let that get in the way of my trash talking, bone slamming, conquest of the game. (first game, I wound up getting up because it became 3 on 1, but I did get back on the board and won 2 games, take that #diddydance)

In relationships, there is a dirty word that people do not like to deal with and that word is expectations. When we dont meet people expectations, we tend to become disgruntled and just flat out disappointed. I have a friend who I had considerable interest in, but I haven't been sure its something I really would pursue in a deeper way. However, a situation arose where I do believe she has exiled herself to the dungeon of plutonica, TRANSLATION (i will check upon you from time to time and see how you doing, maybe do lunch, dutch of course, but that all folks). Now truth be told, I probably made my mind up about that a lot sooner than later regarding her. She just didn't help her case.




My friend and I are always talking about how it sucks to be single. Yet, we become disillusioned by the dating process altogether. We talk about how we are going to let God choose our mates. Yet, that hasnt stopped from trying to help God. I know He is just shaking His head at us. We are a hot mess. Truthfully, we just want the magic of love. That feeling and life that God gives a man and a woman. We just want to be happy with someone and want someone to happy with us. Even in our issues and problems, selfishly we want to be accepted. Because when you are trying to get yourself together, seeing couples hugging and holding hands can be sweet or sickening. Either way, we just want love.






I tweeted today about meeting a woman this morning, courting her this afternoon and proposing to her this evening and marrying her tonight. Sounds like a movie script. I will sue you if you try to make a movie. I have the tweet! (take that #diddydanceagain) Anyway, we just want that magic that God gives a couple when they are in love. Nice conversations, big hugs, sweet kisses, comforting words. Is that asking too much? I dont think so. I even write little notes to my future wife. Its just a small showing of my faith that she will come eventually. I believe it before I see it. I get discouraged but I try to keep my head up.

I will put the R word on hold. Im just tired of talking about it for now. I decided to blog about it, so I could be done with it. Maybe God will do something awesome for me regarding my desire to with someone. Until then, in the infamous words of Donald Trump "R word you're fired!"

VOH Update

Visions of Heaven is on the way. I just finished completing a second round of edits. The front and back cover is great. It is just a matter of a few weeks right now. Glory to God. Time for the marketing strategy. God help me.

What Part of the Game is That? The Myth of Black men being Intimidated by Strong Black Women

Wassup yall. You all have heard somebody say it one time or another. "He is just intimidated by a strong independent Black woman" or "He cant handle a woman like me". Some either said it to us in sour grape mode or when Black women generally talk about Black men in relationships in today's world.

Brothers we have been sold out. Sold out by the man. Sold out by some of the brothers. Sold out by our sisters. Its okay, because hey strange enough, we should expect it, given our history in the country.

Black women, we love you. We love you strong. We love you weak. Stop trying to be stronger than us. That's the problem. While I will agree that some men have dropped the ball. All of us haven't. Don't exclude us because you think that we dont fit your bill. And who told you what a real man is supposed to be like. What is he supposed to think? Where does he suppose to come from?

Ladies, seriously. Does our credit have be 800? Do we have to spend all our free time with you? Do I have give up my female friends? Must I already have a home, so I can sell it or move out of it and we buy a home together? Must I be 6 foot tall? Must I have a 6 pack? How long will good men have to hear these kind of conversations? Do you really need to know what I am doing with savings accounts. Do you really need to know where am I going to be in 5 years?

All these questions. Is this what it means to be with a strong woman? I doubt it. Truthfully, its not an issue of your strength. Some of yall just have bad attitudes. When you cannot get what you want, you pout. You call up your girls. You watch bunch men hating movies and listen to a bunch of men hating songs. Just because you can loud talk, dont make you strong. Trust me, your breath is stronger.

I say we go back to the drawing board.
After all, where you going.
You not gonna settle.
I figure to get all the things you think you want, its going to take about 5 years. Good luck trying to find Mr. Right.

An Open Letter to my Future Wife IV

Hey sweetie,

Tonight, I am so tired. God I wish you were here. The other night I was dreaming crazy. I dont know if it was the ice cream or what. Truthfully, I am missing you. Even though you are somewhere in the future, I can only pray, it isnt the distant future. I could use a back rub. lol But anyway, take care. Pray for me, and I will pray for you. God bless you hun.

Love,

Richard

There Is a Blues

There is a blues when I wake early in the morning.

There is a blues when I sit up late night yawning.

There is a blues I remember caked with tears for frosting.

There is a blues I recall,

that June afternoon

facing nothing but an empty wall.

There is a blues I believe when I open my e-mail and recieve,

rejection letter after rejection letter.

There is a blues I see when there is no one saying,

"its gonna get better".

There is blues when no one believes how you believe.

There is blues when you cant recieve

what some think is easy to retrieve.

I spend lonely days and painful nights

trying to complete a symphony,

when the notes have gone on hiatus.

And I find no solace in the latest,

gadget, toy, trending topic, and tweet.

There is blues even in the pound cake you think is sweet.

I surmise that from each sunset to each sunrise,

there will always be a blues in my life.



Richard J Wright (2011)

Finally Production Is Under Way

Visions of Heaven is finally on its way. Production has started and the book is currently being formatted. It has been crazy. This project took off and then hit a major brick wall. Finances just were not there. Even now I took a risk in financing the last portion, a large chunk by the way which went into a customized cover. (We definitely are going a different direction next go around). Lastly, I finally feel that I can officially start on the third book, now that I am in the production phase of making the second book a reality. Glory be to God. This should be interesting considering that the writings in VOH are a year old. I am going to have relearn what I wrote literally as we enter editing. That should be very interesting. Time to set a marketing plan in place. God help me. :)

An Open Letter to my Future Wife III

Hi Sunshine,

How are you these days? Me? Im trying to make it. Have you ever felt lost? You know where you are but at the same time you are not sure where you are going. I guess I will always be one of those people that need the balance and inspiration of love. With you so close and yet so far away, Im starting to believe that you dont exist. I see you sometimes in the faces of some women but other times Im not sure. I could really use a kind word and a hug. Maybe I should pray. God always has the answers. Are you praying for me? I could really use your prayers. Well sweetie, I gotta go. Until next time. Premember me.

Love,
Richard.

Wishful Thinking

There are moments when the atmosphere becomes a void.

Kinda like the day i first laid my sleepy eyes on your frame.

My peripheral vision faded into an empty canvas.

You became the elements of my life.

Earth, Wind, Fire, & Water.

You became my everything.

You were the source of my inspiration.

You are that narcotic that makes me want to tear concrete in half.

You words cannot ever be plain,

for they satin and velvet to my ears.

Gentle and soothing.

Oozing sensuality,

all the while not defacing my reality.

Always willing to help me be the best I can be.

You know I crave your kisses,

like the adrenaline rush of a thrill seeker.

Yet, I wonder in the back of my mind,

Will you become a reality or am I just a victim

of wishful thinking?

An Open Letter to the NFL Its Players and Its Owners

Dear Spoiled, Rotten, Idiotic, Millionaires and Billionaires,

You know your labor issues have made me consider that yall are some childish greedy idiots. One of your running backs have related their "struggles" as modern day slavery. I realize that everyone who plays in the NFL does not have to be a Rice graduate but in the immortal words of Ed Lover "Come on son"! That Mr. Adrian Peterson aka "i can run but i will fumble the ball from time to time" is just plain stupid.

While the meat grinder which is the NFL season is brutal and contributes to short careers. I do not think the NFL players should be looking for sympathy from fans. After all, most of us cannot relate to arguing over 9 billion dollars.

Look, I am convince that sports is this world's proverbial matrix. It keeps many families broke from going to games to buying merchandise and pay television. Sports like pop culture invades our existence like a rash we cannot easily get rid of. While the lock out is currently on and the idea of missing games looms on the horizon, I am just sick of you guys. From the players to the owner. All of you are a hot mess.

Make no mistake. I dig the NFL. Yet, you haven't produced a game that has encouraged me to miss Sunday Morning worship at my church. You guys are good, but not that good. The point Im making is that, you guys are just not that important. Now I realize that many hard working people who make close to minimum wage could be in trouble. Those are only ones I feel sorry for. I personally could care less who wins between the owners and players.

To the players, you gonna get played. After all your are players, duh. Nothing personal. It is what it is. You dont think so, go and chat with Earl Campbell, and many other superstars in the NFL from the past. They are busted up and suffer with ailments from the game. They accept the situation they place their bodies in. How can you do it? Yes, you make millions possibly but is it worth one day not being able to hold a spoon or play with your kids?

To the owners, yall know better. How you cats sleep at night? You convince your respective cities to build these stadiums, make your residents and visitors to your city pay hotel and car rental taxes, just to say you dont want to show your employees what you are really working with. Im sure you guys will win. After all, you are owners and you will own the negotiations. The players dont stand a chance. You guys know that. Your horses will be put out to pasture in a few days and you then will bring along some new colts to run up and down the field and you will continue to rake in the dough.

Oh by the way, if any fans may read this let me just say, find other things to do on sunday. Oh here is one, how about going to church. Stop praying to God that your team will win on Sunday. Especially you Texans fans. Dont let the matrix lull you to sleep and get depressed about football being delayed or cancelled. Its not that serious. Unless you get a dime of the 9 billion the owners and players are fighting over, why should you care? They dont care about you. The lock out is proof of that.

Sincerely,

A fan that could care less if you play or not, after all I worship and work for a savior that always wins. No competition.

Japan In Crisis

Japan needs our prayers. Do it.

What Part of the Game is That? The Stuck on Stupid Residents in Cleveland, Texas.

Sometimes you have to just smack your own.
- Jim Rome

You know there is something to be said about a gang of teenagers and adults having sex with an 11 year old girl.

First question.
What part of the game is that?
Second question.
Are you negroes in Cleveland that hard up?
Next question.
Why, a child?

I have been sitting on this a minute. I have chosen to not let my mind go there in regards to commenting on the situation. The situation is just that disturbing.
Now here is the pickle. I just need one Cleveland resident to answer this. Will you tell me where Cleveland is? So I wont ever have to spend a dime or a second in your greasy spot.

Now, on to these morons who were brain dead.
When the screen filled up with these pictures of these brothers, my mind said. "These are not your brothers, these are some niggers". Because only a nigger would do something so awful and then try to blame it on the victim".


I might give the Klan a pass on this one.

Let me say that first of all, any fool that was caught out there, I dont feel sorry for you. Its an 11 year old child. You are foolish for more reasons than I can write at the moment. 17 guys. 17 lives. 17 daddies.

17 fathers.

Nobody had a father that taught them any better?

Thats why I have a wild hair for Black boys without fathers.

To the upstanding citizens in Cleveland, Texas. I feel for you. You are forced to have to be the object of foolishness. I hope justice is served.

To those boys (all of yall regardless of age are boys) I FORGIVE YOU.
But dont expect me to invite you to any barbecues anytime soon. Might take a while for me to forget what has happened. I do forgive you. But I must admit, my impulses tell me to line yall up and end your miserable existance by castrating each of you. Because nobody should be that hard up for a child.

Then some of yall taped it.

ONLY NIGGERS.

It hurts me to have to refer to a slur to describe you goons who did this. I dont care if you thought she was older. Yall knew it was wrong and thats why I call you niggers. Cause only a nigger can take something that is immoral and try to make themselves look like heroes in the process.

And to those parents of those backward minded young men, major fail.

It is at this point where you have give or extend some advice.

PRAY.

Now to the parent(s) of the 11 year old. You have my sympathy.
Yet I do want to know, where were you when this was going on?

Anyway...

I must be getting old. Im being tame. Thank God for salvation. Otherwise, I might have bought a rifle and went hunting for wabbits in Cleveland.

Just Get It Over With

As I began to learn more about you.
I found myself thinking over and over again.
She's going to break my heart.
I see it in your eyes.
I hear it in your lies.
I smell it in your perfume.
I sense it, this pending doom.
And though I want to ignore the signs.
They keep flashing me blindly,
while my mind detects the danger,
my heart is unaware
because it doesnt at the moment care.
Deep down I just want to tell her
"Just get it over with"
Dont take me through years of pain,
kill me now.
Stab me now.
Choke me out.
You gonna do it anyway.
I dont wanna die slow again...
If you love me as a friend,
then you would go ahead and just get it over with,

Richard J Wright (2011)

Oh boy, not another Valentine's Day

Oh boy, not another Valentine's day. Last year around this time I went to a movie dutch with a woman I was trying to date and get back in her good graces. The movie was "Valentine's Day" Yeah, go figure. Needless to say, Im no where near where I want to be in regards to that woman. (we are still friends... just not what I wanted) I was talking with another friend and we were talking about Valentine's day and she said I was sounding like a hater. Well... I was probably being a hater, but so what. Its another year. Im still single. No one tickles my fancy. Im getting phone calls from women who dont usually call. Im not stupid and Im not doing no mercy dates. Im not spending my hard earned dollars on stuff for people who dont deserve it. I will settle for a dollar movie and a Raising Cane's run before I give Wally World or Walgreens any of my money. Ok, well maybe for my daughter... But that's it.

Im not speaking a foriegn language. You see, in relationships there are languages that people speak. Married folk have a language, people in relationships have them. When you like somebody, its easy to try to communicate your intentions or thoughts but if the other person isnt responding then one or two things are at play. This person doesn't like you like that or they want you to change communication style because they are not hearing you at the moment. The trouble in relationships start when people are not communicating properly. Unfortunately, this can happen to easily if you are not paying attention. Plus, if a person shows you something, then you need to believe it. Dont just look at things as aberations. See it for what it is. There is nothing wrong with forgiveness or forgetting things but patterns and habits are another thing.

Truthfully, I would like some candy. A balloon. A woman to smile at me. Yet, it isnt my time. I know someone right now that would like to do that for me. The trouble is, Im not feeling her like that. Dont get me wrong, she's cool. But everybody isnt for everybody. Somebody is always out here for somebody and not just anybody. That's how I feel. I want love. Yet, I want it the right way with the right woman. Im a complex brother and I need certain things. I cannot ignore who I am. I cannot settle. I wont do it. Not for some lousy holiday called Valentine's Day.

What have I been up to these days...

Its a been a real minute since I have really dedicated myself to posting a real blog post. So, the question can be asked. What have I been up to these days.

1. Holidays Not exactly my favorite time of year, especially being single and struggling with it. It has been cool however because I did really look forward to the holidays. I hung out with family and friends, so it was cool. I didnt really feel like blogging about the experience because in the back of mind, I wanted to share this season with someone special but it was not to be.

2. Busy Not exactly what I wanted to be but I have been working some very long hours. So most times Im just too tired to blog anything.

3. Dating I have been dating a little bit. Trust when I tell you its overrated. Last night for example, I got a text from a friend. The text just simply said call her. Well, I had a long day, and I went to bed early. I just stared at it and put the phone down. Whatever she had to say wasnt that important. Plus she's kinda fickle anyway and I didnt want to be bother honestly. lol

4. Its a new year and there is new opportunities. Earlier this month, I was commissioned for ministry this year as a minister. God be the glory. That is all I can say about that because the challenges of this position are significant but with God's help, managable.

5. My child the teenager Handful. She's not into her dad much more. She's into her friends. Some which I like, and some which I dont. Sad enough I feel that way about their parents the same way, some I like and some I dont. Lately we dont hangout much. It seems I am always dropping her off at one of her friend's house. Glad to see my baby growing up but its a bittersweet type deal.

So that is what I have been dealing with. There is a lot to blog about, so Im getting to work. Peace!

My Princess

This little lady is my Black pearl. Ashley Renae, my daughter. You gotta love the hair. lol She got swag as these young folk would say. But, she definitely a chip off the old block. Daddy's girl. I love her so much.

Helter Skelter Blues... A letter to some of our sisters.

hĕl'tər-skĕl'tər)
adv.
1.In disorderly haste; confusedly; pell-mell.
2.Haphazardly.
adj.
1.Carelessly hurried and confused.
2.Haphazard.
n.
Turmoil; confusion

This piece is dedicated to a post I saw in Facebook.






Dear Black women the word is out.
The word is out that some of yall want to date others.
Yall changing up the format like a radio station,
pushing aside all of the brothers.
Just because some of yall have become bitter.
But the women I know and respect aint never been quitters.
So some of yall want to leave for greener gardens eh?
Pasty complexions lead to better directions?
Sleep with the children of the slavemasters.
Can only improve racial relations?
Of course, not!

But you have become beside yourself.
Allowing your past relationships to define yourself.
So now the future is painted with rainbow glows,
hand in hand, singing African folk songs.
But how can you sing in a strange land?
How can you love a strange man?
But I guess anything is possible.
If the Boston Celtics can trot out all Black starting roster,
yall can get your Asian, European, and Mexican swerve on.
Leaving me, means you leave you.
While you cling to the Oprahisms of life.
You can have it all.
Career and children.
Commitment and charity.
You can have it all.
All except me.

So while yall run to the border.
Run to the whiteman.
And to the all the Asians.
All of those who hate me.
Those who hate my dark skin.
Those who hate my presence.
Those who hate my music.
Those who hate my passion.
Those who hate my truth.

Thats what yall want?
Have your fill.
And when you are full of the sperm of the oppressors,
and the stench of their racist overtones toward your nephews, and uncles, and male kin.
Maybe you will swallow the pride of your life.
The lust of your eyes and the lust of your flesh.
The poor decisions of your choices make for backdrop fodder concerning your personal relationships.

Perhaps the pain you feel is too much.
So much so, that you feel safer with those who exploit you and I.
That is, needless to say a bit disturbing.
But do you sister...
When it is all said and done,
we both lose.
In the streets we were killing each other.
But now we are killing ourselves
by not wanting to be with ourselves.

I guess it is what it is.
Just dont expect me to like it.
Call me paranoid.
Call me crazy.
Just dont call me traitor.


With love,

Richard J Wright (2011)

An Open Letter to my Future Wife II

Dear Future Wife,

How are you doing? I hope you are wonderful. When God brings you to me, I will be the happiest man on this here planet. I just hope I am worthy of your hand. Its a brand new year and I am just taking sometime to tell you that I am crazy about you. I know, you are probably thinking, "how can I be crazy about someone I haven't met. Well, that is the thing, I dont know if I have met you or not. At this point, it doesn't even matter because I am crazy about you and the awesomeness of God creating you just for me. I am working on myself. LORD knows its been hard. I am so alone without you. I am waiting for you. Until then, be blessed. I will be praying for you.

Love,

Richard

Watching You

I watch you with intrigue.
Wondering am I in your league?
Brown marbles for eyes,
with dark skin to match.
To see you smile,
makes you worth the catch.
Your Louisiana drawl,
makes me drool
like a fool.
I follow every word
like the bouncing ball in a song.
While my eyes discover and uncover
every curve,
every nerve.
From your pretty toes,
to your finger tips,
to your purdy lips
and your curvy hips.
Its just what I do,
when Im sitting here watching you.

Richard J Wright (2011)

They call it a new year, but it’s a really a new time

It is time to say goodbye
To a year filled with questions like why?
Why didn’t I get married?
Why didn’t I get rich?
Why I didn’t I do what I was supposed to do?
Why, why, why and why?
And what was up with all the drama?
Somebody should have followed you and me with a camera.
Reality TV don’t have anything on us.

Yet, its time to say goodbye,
To a year that has had it shares of ups and downs
Many smiles and frowns.
So in the back of our minds
We think and rewind
We meditate, and debate.
Who and what is going in
And who and what is going out.

After all some of our lives are marked up like a hallway in the projects,
Sometimes we are scarred by words,
Words like failure, words like foolishness,
Words like frustration, words like fear.
But that is when you take this living water
And wash your self in this word.
And faithfully bathe yourself in prayer.
And watch the walls of your life become white.

While we change out the calendars
and daytimers of our lives,
just remember its not so much a new year,
as it is for us a new time.
For a new time is everyday.
Its God’s gift to us.
So while we pile up resolutions,
Or like I like to say
Re- solutions. (things we doing over and over again with minimum or less success)
Stop the insanity.
And realize, that new years doesn’t begin with the clock strikes midnight.
But when the clock strikes midnight in your heart.
That could be tomorrow,
Or in two minutes.
Either way, its you who decides when there is going to be a new time
We have nothing to do with when a new year comes.
Let God bring newness to your life with gladness
And invite to your life the greatest expectation.
The new year is like the kingdom of Heaven,
Its in you.
But of course, there is something you and I have to do.

Happy New Year

Richard J Wright