Whats Going On Tonight

Well, If the Good LORD says the same, I will be at church bringing in the New Year. I have been in the House of God for New Years Eve, since 2002. God has been good to me and I am thankful for His many blessings over my life. I have struggled quite a bit this year. I made some good strides and some bad decisions. Yet, God has seen fit for me to see another year.

A co-worker of mine passed out fliers for a new years eve bash. I told a friend at my job that I would really like to go. He told me, "you never come by". Yet, it is with reason. When you understand that God has blessed you tremendously, you understand that He is worthy to be praised and honored. I love my co-workers but I love my God and His body a lot more.

So, while the champagne is flowing in some places, and the dancefloors packed in others. I will bless God because when i couldnt drink champange or dance He was right there. He is awesome and because of that. I will be in His house on tonight. Whereever you find yourself tonight, take a minute and stop and think on the goodness of God. Think about what He brought you through, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and even socially. So dont lift your glass tonight, but lift your hands in praise.

Looking Back at '09 for the Last Time

Well, Initially I thought I would put this out friday, but after some thought. I decided not too. I wanted to think about this year and look at the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent. Listed below, will be some of the highlights of this year for me personally.

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT THIS YEAR
Surviving.
NEXT GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT
Graduating with my MBA.

FAILURE OF THE YEAR.
No promotion at work.
NEXT FAILURE.
Not Publishing Visions of Heaven on time, which is my 2nd book.

BEST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
Avatar
NEXT TO BEST MOVIE I SAW.
This Is It

WORST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
Drag Me to Hell
NEXT WORST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
Crank 2

BEST EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR
Graduation Ceremony at University of Phoenix
NEXT TO BEST EXPERIENCE
Meeting Darlene

WORST NEWS I GOT THIS YEAR
My ex-wife got married.
NEXT TO WORST NEWS
Michael Jackson passing away

MY "MAN, I WISH I HAD DONE THAT DIFFERENT" MOMENT
I didnt save money like I should have really this year.

MY NEXT TO "MAN, I WISH I HAD DONE THAT DIFFERENT" MOMENT
Moving into the townhome im in. I wish I could have stayed where I was in retrospect, it was a dumb move.

BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR FOR ME
Fall
WORST SEASON OF THE YEAR FOR ME
Summer

HARDEST LESSON LEARNED THIS YEAR
Betrayal happens. Get over it.

BEST LESSON LEARNED THIS YEAR
You have a lot to do with your destiny.


'09 was filled with a lot of high points and low points. It was a tough year. 2010 will have its own challenges as well I'm sure. Yet, I am excited. I know 2010 will be a great year. I am praying that it is a year of greater accomplishments and a greater year of service.

I have already stated that I will not post my goals for 2010 because I feel I need to just be about it and not talk it up so much. I will only say, just look for great things from me as well as yourself. Build up the momentum and soar. I will be right there with you to celebrate, minister, encourage and build. LETS DO THIS THING TOGETHER. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Black Single Women

Black women are having a tough time finding suitable mates among the brothers. If you think this going to be one of those blogs where I bash Black woman, you are sadly mistaken. Instead, I have to be realistic and sympathetic to the plight of our women. Many feel they have no choice but to date outside the race. It is what it is. Now, standards are an issue and truthfully it is a real concern. Black women should not settle. However, the question is what does it mean to not settle?

Some Black women find themselves making questionable decisions based upon their past. Those sisters tend to go through dysfunctional relationship, one after the other. These sisters many times are not educated nor possess an attractive job. Just based upon their education, their choices in men are limited. Now, when you deal with a sister who has the all the education and career goals accomplished. What does a brother do to attract that sister? Many Black men do not have the jobs or the education. So, its a question of investment. Will Black men invest in their future to ensure they find a mate; One that isnt always in the clubs, one that is not working at McDonalds, one that isnt stuck in the hood mentally. One that is looking for thug passion from a thug. Basically, Black men share similar problems. We dont want to marry someone who may or might cheat on us or make our lives full of drama.

I asked a good friend of mine how she feels about the pool available to her. I ask if she would date potential. Now this sister is gorgeous. Has a MBA. Corporate job. She's high maintenance to a certain degree. Yet, she is down to earth. We talked today briefly about how she feels about the Black men available to her. She actually said that she felt she had found someone and that she was fortunate. Now, will it lead to marriage, right now the hardware is not to be found on her finger. And, yes she has set a deadline. Which as of this date is rapidly approaching.

So, while it can be said that Black women are being challenged in this area, it can be said that there are successes. Black women maybe dating outside the race, Black women may feel the pool is shrinking. However, Black women are still marrying Black men and want to marry Black men. As long as that is the case, that ray of hope will shine. As Steve Harvey alluded to in the video, many of our gender failed to grasp the real concept of family in this generation. Yet, he said from the outset that there are some good Black men out here and they are. I happen to be one of them.

I am a single father. I am a Black man. I love God. I love Black women. I have a MBA. Yet, I dont have that "corporate job" yet. Despite this economy, I cannot expect nothing to be handed to me. Whether that is a job making a high five or six figures or a even the hand of a sister in marriage. I have to work for it all. I have issues but those issues I struggle with do not have me. And yes, I had to work to get it to be that way. So for single Black men, I say this to you. Be encouraged, work hard, have faith, and pursue excellence. As I like to say from time to time. Love comes around, it finds a way. To my single sisters, I say this to you. Be encouraged, work hard, have faith and yes pursue excellence. We as a people have to think as one. The message to both genders concerning marriage and love should be and is the same. Love comes around, it finds a way.

I just wanna thank you.

Dear SO and SO and SO,

I wanna thank you for all that you do.
Whether you know it or not,
you all make a difference in my life.
Whether your motives are pure or not,
it really doesn't matter.
What matters is that you care enough,
to say something or do something to me.
Some would call you haters,
I call you misunderstood.
I call you misled.
I call you disturbed.
While I could ask you personally,
why such thoughts toward me,
I know you think, that I think,
you love me.
You would be right.
I do love you,
each of you.
I will love you close
and I will love you from afar.
I wish you well.
Whether I call you a friend or an enemy,
it doesn't matter.
I will always love you.

Sincerely Yours.

The object of your ridicule, the object of your jealousy, the object of your affection.

Sending A Blessing

A good person sent this e-mail to me, I thought it was a blessing and I wanted to share it with you.

Psalm 55:22 --- you really need to read this.
"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

This was written by a Metro Denver Hospice Physician:


I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a Gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay


When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.


At that moment, everything came into
focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me."


I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.


She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City . Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They live in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.


So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or something?"


This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people."

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.


Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...

Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."


My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, especially for the months left in 2009, and I picked you.

Please pass this to four people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me. I sent it to twenty-five people.
Here is the prayer:


"Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends, relatives and e-mail buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace, In Jesus ' precious name. Amen."


I know I picked more than four -- you can, too.
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, " Jesus , could You please get that for me.

Motivation 2010

I have seen too much drama in this year. I cried more this year than anyone I can remember. I saw some success personally, so over all it was a roller coaster ride. One thing is for sure, 2010 is and will be an incredible year. Trials will come, hard decisions will be made. Yet, my family and I will be better for it all. I have a number of goals Im shooting for. I am not even gonna list them. Yet, I will reveal them as I reach them. I dont want to look back at 2010 this time next year and be discouraged. Not 2010. Im not some next level experience. Yall gonna need a jet to catch me. I promise.

I dont know what to think

Have someone ever told you something and you didnt really know whether to believe them or not. Recently, I was told something that led me to not really believe them. This of course was based upon my history with this person. This person even told me that any possible relationship we could have is almost impossible due to an issue of trust. That is an under statement. Trust this point isn't even an issue. Sometimes damage is not repairable. You basically have to rebuild from the bottom up. Risky. Very risky.

Now, personally speaking I have to weigh the cost of taking the risk. On the surface, it just isnt worth it. I love this person, yet this person isnt worth the risk. Why? Basically because i dont know what to think. I know that the history we shared is incredible but this one thing that I cannot ignore. I dont know what to think. My heart has made some questionable decisions in the past. Yet, I feel that making this one is quite the paradox. How can I trust and put my faith in someone who has shown nothing less than betrayal and self motives? Plus, it is my guess that the green grass is found out to be astro turf.

In relationships people are motivated not by the right thing but what they feel. I dont know what to think. Especially about this situation. I want to believe them. I really do. Yet, that would be foolish. And for me. I cannot do foolish. I dont know what to think but it definitely aint foolish. It is what it is. People are a trip.

Paining

In my heart its raining.
Through my laughter I smile but its paining.
My memories are filled with pain,
Like New Edition I cant stand the rain.
But the rain falls,
and words call,
my expressions are plastered on the wall.
Sometimes I sleep,
most times I dont.
They say they love me,
but their actions wont,
convince me cause I have seen a lot of pain.
Not physically but mentally and its always a strain.

You know life aint fair,
and no one cares,
they say they there
but they really not there.
Cuz if they there,
then they would be here.
Its what you do
thats crystal clear.
Not what you say
cuz those are just words.
Seldom spoken in truth
when love is a verb.
Im just paining.

So I sit alone,
cry alone,
and nine times outta ten
I'll die alone.
Who really cares?
Only God,
so when you say you do,
its really hard
to take your words as sincere,
if you really cared then you'd be here.
I try to be there for those around.
But just like Bobby said
nobody wants you when you down.
Im just paining.

Richard J Wright (2009)

These Tears

In my life I have seen the obscene,
played out in on the big screen,
in and out of consciousness I day dream.
What's man to do,
when he feels alone?
Does he pick up the phone
and call a friend?
Who's in just as much pain,
body wrecked by sin?
I hide my emotions in the rain.
For what do I gain,
when I go against the grain?
My heart maintains it wants to be in love,
but my mind is a bully when it shoves,
all foolish ideas aside.
I rather kill my pride
than to know my life lied.
So I sit aside the road
and admire the parade and charades,
of what love became lost and what hate made.
I rather ride in a Cadillac Escalade,
on the seawall,
and ignore it all.
Allowing Bach to sooth my soul,
pursue my goals,
and play my roles.
While these tears fall.
Roll like a ball
to a slow crawl.
Ignoring the faces,
oblivious to the places.
For my mind runs like the wind,
and swims viciously like a shark fin.
Yet, still the whole time.
I unwind while I climb
Everest for the umpteenth time.
Yet in the valley,
I quietly move along.
Remain silent and calm.
While I wipe these tears,
from my childhood years.

Richard J Wright (2008)

If You Could Pick My Brain

If you could pick my brain,
you might slip on a stain.
Holding on barely to the train.
But it wants to go off the track,
I gotta pray to get it back.
And if I get it back in place,
I just look behind and see the waste,
whether it was tears or a sad face,
It will take CSI or Cold case,
to face the book or hide in my space.

If you could pick my brain,
would you desire to learn,
or grill it like Hannibal Lecter,
Did you see the specter?
He been following me, since I was a tot.
He used to masquerade as a imaginary friend,
Now he sits at the table and pretends.
He like most negroes, only comes around me when,
things are swell and the money aint thin.

If you could pick my brain,
there somethings I just cannot explain.
Like when I'm happy I still feel the pain.
They say dont worry be happy,
So I be happy and I gotta hurry,
because before I know it, here comes the worry.
Its a constant battle with myself,
I pray God hears the heart
because sometimes God moves like stealth.
And I swear just a minute ago I was by myself.
Then He shows up and shows out,
I cant take credit for all He is about.

If you could pick my brain,
I could tell you some thangs,
then it might leave you saying... dang
How deep? past the ocean floor
Shoot the devil moved out next door.
But I rather fly high than be deep.
Cause its there the idle mind sleep.
Keep it simple, ask me things like Obama,
my daughter, my dreams or even about my mama.
Other than that you might get a case of duality,
multiple messages in one word
come follow meh.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Early Morning Musings...

...Sitting here watching Chinese Super Ninjas for the umpteenth time.

...Thinking of a way to ask AJ to go out on a date.

...Wondering if I will ever get to publish VOH. Its overdue. Sheesh.

...Pondering if moving to a cheaper place will put more money in my pocket.

...Lamenting about being alone for Christmas.

...Laughing at the Cowboys beating the Saints. Monday will be a trash talking session at with Cowboy fans.

...Worrying that I will never get to use this MBA I earned to work.

When Niggas Get Wake Up Calls.

Malcolm X once remarked "what do you call a Black man with a Ph.D? Nigger"
The great comedian Paul Mooney once joked about Black men getting nigger wake up calls. Micheal Jackson. O.J. Simpson. and now... wait for it. Wait For It.
Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods has made the front page of the New York Times 20 days in a row. That is more than 9/11.

What these men have in common, Micheal Jackson, O.J., and Tiger Woods. They have been not only linked to white women but they share a distinct thought that they somehow were not Black. O.J. had a white wife which he murdered allegedly. Michael Jackson married a white woman and once sang "it doesnt matter if you are Black or White" Tiger Woods calls himself Cablasian.

Well... To white people they all were thought of as not Black but niggers. Tiger with his billion dollars has been raked over the coals something fierce. Would this happen to a white golfer? Probably not. While each of these men have and had tremendous amounts of wealth, it has not stopped white people from having some disdain for them. Tiger is probably the most hated golfer not because of his race but because of his incredible game. He has conquered a sport largedly played and adored by whites. That isnt going sit well with some whites. Now that he is down, he is getting the business something awful. He probably still believes that he is "cablasian" but dude they really see as a nigger, especially now. While whites in the media will not dare "go there", (talking about race). We in the Black community know what it is. Yes, Tiger like it or not you are being reminded that America still has a problem with race and you are causing more static than Jack Johnson is his heyday. You have receieved the wake up call. Dont worry... Your people still love you. Even though you deny your Blackness. Our Blackness will not deny you. Now you can put down the phone and move forward.

My Love Affair with Black Women

Black Women.
Umph, Umph, Umph.
I love Black women. I am a visual person and basically I watch and study Black woman all day long. Now, visually, Black women appeal to me. What's not to like about Black women? Emotionally, they are a roller coaster ride. They know how to take you high into the clouds and drop you low to the ocean floor. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, (if thats what you into) lol. Intellectually, I find them amazing, profound, and they make me laugh until it hurts. When I think of Black women, I think of the Black women in my life in way or another. So Im going to share with you some of the Black woman I have loved, admire, respect and believe in.

1. My mother. She's the big bird of my life. In fact, that is her nick name given to her by one of her sisters, Bird. Amazing woman, always have a laugh stashed away for a rainy day. Will give you tough love when you need it. My fiercest advocate. You mess with me and mama will get you. lol

2. My grandparents Johnnie Mae and Hattie Mae. Awesome women. God bless their souls. I only had them for a season and miss them more as I grow older. One was a real grinder. Johnnie owned an apartment complex, she was a licensed hair dresser, she cleaned office buildings at night... (all at the same time.. real talk) The other Hattie was a that mama who had visitors at her home every day. I learned to love Al Green because of this amazing woman. Very sweet.

3. My teachers Ms Smith, second grade. Beautiful woman, retired but serves faithfully at her church. Ms. Miller, sixth grade, first woman I knew who loved God openly and would sing at the drop of a hat. Ms. Blake. OMG 10th grade, first teacher I had a crush on. God she was beautiful.. still is. Saw her recently out shopping.

4. Teresa. The first girl who ever liked me. Kindergarten, she always shared her cookies with me. (yeah I remember the first girl who ever loved me)

5. Candie. My first real girlfriend. Yep. High yellow with big brown eyes. Jeri curl. Dont laugh. She was Ms. Universe far as I was concerned.

6. Erica. My homegirl from the hood. Still tight to this day. I have known her since the late 70s. Has the best pair of lips I have seen on a woman. High powered. High maintenance. Very sexy and funny. Masters degrees and the whole nine. A very good woman. Definitely my sister and confidant for life.

7. Christina. My other homegirl from the hood. Crazy as all outdoors. I have known her since the early 80s. I love her dearly. My sister for life.

8. Wendy. My baby's mother. Will always love her because she gave me Ashley.

9. Ashley. My one and only daughter. Reminds me of her mother and my grandmothers. She has an old woman soul. A jewel sent from God.

10. Denea. My first wife. Taught me many things. We have an incredible history. Regardless of our divorce. She has a special place in my heart.

11. Angela. My homegirl. Raised in the bloody nickel. Sweet as pie. We will always be friends because we both love God, have children and try not to go crazy in this life. You need friends you can share and pray for and with.

12. Crystal. Amazing sister. Went to school together at undergrad. Sharp as a tack. Easy on the eye. We always clashed at school over relationships, work, but at the end of the day, I love her like a sister. She's a ride or die chick. Her hubby is a lucky man.

13. Lynette. Too funny. Worked with her more than anyone at undergrad. A good natured sister who has a bright future. We still tight.

14. Tally. Amazing sister. Showed me lots of love when I was going through my divorce. Very supportive. Great networker. You dont find too many sisters like that. She is a jewel in my life. She's the big sister in my world. Men need big sisters in life.

15. Muze. Amazing writer. A cool chick from Detroit. Makes words taste like M&Ms. Plus she's a dime. Very funny as well. I admire her craft. She is going to blow up. Im sure of it.

16. My First Lady. Amazing woman of God. She's a practical and spiritual teacher. Very meek but definitely motherly in her approach. She's from New Rochelle, NY. She is very methodical and caring. One of my other mothers.

17. Mama Yancy. Neighborhood mom from back in the day. Watched me grow up. She is very sweet. I love her so much. I know she prayed for me. Somethings you dont have to even think about. That much I know.

18. Elder Moore. One of my church mothers. Awesome woman of God. Very sweet and encouraging. Men need women like that. I am blessed to know her.


These are just some of the women in my life. There are many more. Yet, these women above I can say have made a difference in my life in one way or another. I love all of these of women unashamedly. They are etched in my mind and heart. Each one providing a spice or additive to the man I am and hope to be. Some are closer to me than others but they are Black women and I love them all.

Taking Inventory

Its good to count your blessings. Sometimes one needs to just take inventory of one's life and meditate on that. While the retailers are shaking in their boots over what will probably be a mediocre spending season, you and I should take the time to just remember not only what the reason for the season is, (Jesus, by the way) we should be looking forward to a new year and new adventures. I am going to give you a sneak peek into what 2010 means for me.

1. Health Yes, I need to knock some weight off. See a dentist. Incorporate a better diet.

2. Money. I need some more of it. Whether it comes from a new job or a leaner budget, i gotta have more of it.

3. Ministry. This past year has been one of my weakest in terms of ministry accomplishments. This cannot be the case in 2010.

4. Relationships. Yeah, Im gotta shake some people and add others to the mix. A few of my friends are in for a rude awakening.

5. Keeping pace with life itself. Being proactive instead of reactive.

6. Have more fun. Life is too short.

7. Add a new hobby or two. Time to diverse my portfolio.

Wishing This Holiday

Im wishing this holiday
that you would be near me.
Snuggling underneath a Christmas Tree.
Looking deep into your eyes,
while the lights twinkle.
Giggling and humming a favorite Christmas song.
Wishing the night would last very long.
I share a secret and perhaps a tear,
thinking about the struggles of the past year.
Just someone to talk to would be nice.
No presents or stocking stuffers will suffice.
Your presence alone is all I require.
While listen to the crackling of a newly lit fire.
To hold your hand and kiss your lips,
would take me places an airplane couldn't trip.
Alas, its a fantasy in this time of year.
For it is you I am wishing for in this season of cheer.

Richard J Wright (2009)

Finding Love

Love.
Four little letters that mean so much and yet hard to obtain and hold. I am in an interesting position. I want love in my life. Yet, my search has been futile. Today I was working and saw an elderly couple walking hand in hand. I say to myself. "Man, why cant I have that?"

Recently, I felt shaken by the thought that I might die single. That is not cool. I look at people in my life and I am pissed at the fact that so many people have love, yet I dont. I hear people complain about their spouses and yet, I remind them that being in my shoes is no cigar.

Do you know what its like to hear love songs playing on the radio and have no one to think of when you hear them? Its like you are an alien. I thought I had a girlfriend but she's not thinking about me like that, for now. I guess I have one to many issues. LORD knows Im far from perfect. To say it didnt hurt my feelings would be a lie. While she desires to be in my life, its not something she is willing to commit too at this point.

I just want to have love in my life. Is that so bad? Am I not worthy of love? I hear stuff like "oh you are a great guy" "oh you are so considerate and nice" Blah Blah Blah. All of its nice stuff but it doesnt sooth my yearning heart. Its hard to be strong when you are incomplete. Now, I dont believe that I need a woman to make me complete but I know the value of a good woman in your life. Therefore, it is something I truly desire.

Truth is, I hate dating. All the time put in to find out this person aint the one. There is a chill in the air and I dont like it. My heart is starting to feel cold out here. All of its perplexing to my mind. Im hurting and no one is there to sooth this feeling. I get tired of people complaining about having some one. Try living alone without someone. Try going to bed a night with nothing but a pillow to hold. Try going weekend after weekend unsure what to do. I used to go to movies alone but now I hate it. I rarely go now. Why must it be so hard? All this confusion because im having a tough time finding love.

The Emptiness of a Broken Heart

My emotions
motion my mind.
To chain my heart,
to a small place.
Somewhere quiet and safe.
Though I stand and look like an ordinary man.
Laughing and poking fun at my friends.
Somewhere inside of me.
I am just a little boy,
clutching my teddy bear.
Rocking back and forth
shaking my head in grief.
I imagine an Angel of the Lord
cradling myself while I am in pain.
In this darkness,
it rains.
I speak and groan
in a language unknown.
All the while I work,
I read and I study.
Yet, inside I have nothing.
Though I know God is with me,
all I feel is the
nothingness of a broken heart.

In a state of flux

So much is going on with me and around me. I am kinda overwhelmed by it all. Now, being a Christian, sometimes you get to a point where your faith becomes shaken, whether it is by your doing or not. At that point, it does not help matters if you stay there. Im going to continue to blog but Im taking a breather from writing. This next project has me in a state of flux and i really need to focus on it. I lost a third book when my PC crashed. Right now, Im taking things slow and spending the rest of the holiday season reading. Im currently reading two books. Which isnt bad since I have been known to read mags, comics, books, the bible simultanously. Right now im chilling. 2010 is right around that corner. I gotta get my hustle up. Its crunch time.

Times Like These...

You know nothing hits harder than life. Right now, things are in an air of question. So many questions and not enough answers. Im trying to stay positive through it all. I am not excited about Christmas at all. Money isnt right, the relationship I thought I had is now questionable at best. I spent thanksgiving alone, Christmas will be the same most likely and the only reason I will be with people for New Years Eve is because I will be at church. Its been a crazy year. I hope 2010 is better because its been rough. Being single makes me just want to be alone at times. I wanna sit and listen to some jazz and zone out. Im finding out more and more that all I have in this world is God. Thank God because otherwise I would go completely crazy. Im not a happy camper right about now. Times like these make you just want to hide.

Love dont live here Anymore

Man. Just when I thought I had someone. They pull the plug. Well. Life Happens.
I guess, there is nothing more to do than to recognize and realize. My heart deserves better. Aint nothing else to be said.

Talk about a rough day...

Yesterday, I came home found my computer on the blink. Not good. In fact, it basically crashed. I got the same stupid message after reboot after reboot after reboot. Eventually, I came to the conclusion after going through several screens of safe mode variables that my PC basically bit the dust. There was only one choice, recovery. Recovery sucks because basically you lose all your files. For me, one particular file hurt more than the others. My 3rd book. Fortunately, I have already submitted my manuscript for my second release. Thank God. Yet, Its like starting all over again. Not cool. Yet, it is what is it and there is no use in crying over spilled milk.

What My Christmas Will Be Like This Year... Most Likely

Ah Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
This time of the year is always full of cheer...
Yeah right. Yes thats right folks, I got my grinch suit on and im kicking some cheery behind. Bah Humbug. I wish Jacob Marley would send three negroes from the past, present and future to scare me into being cheerful about a commercialized holiday. Bah Humbug.

Any way...

What will my Christmas be like? Probably uneventful. Dinner. A present or two. Maybe a movie. Another lonely Christmas. Somebody slap Prince upside the head for writing such a stupid song. Okay... that last glass of haterade got me tripping. I look forward to Christmas. More than anything, I will try to focus on the birth of my savior, Jesus. He is the REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON!

When You Cant Reach Yesterday

Yesterday is calling,
but Im stalling for time.
Knowing no matter how I feel,
I cannot rewind.
To the days of sweet love making,
bed breaking and sheet shaking.
It all left me with a heart aching.


Still, yesterday is calling.
Dare i pick up the phone,
knowing even now I am so alone.
Its like a ghost scratching at my jones.
To hear her call my name,
wash me in ectasy,
pouring lighter fluid on the flame.

Yet, I cannot not answer such a call.
For such a call does not make me whole,
It can only cause me to fall.
Back in love, back in lust,
back in pain, back in trust.
Oh, this old foolish heart of mine,
So eager to press rewind.

Yet, it is a path I cannot go.
No matter how much she tries to show.
That she still cares,
That she still is aware that I love her.
Instead I hold onto the only place i can hide.
My misguided and foolish pride.
It is the only place where the skies are not gray.
It is the only place to go,
when you cant reach yesterday.

Richard J Wright (2009)

I Wish...

I wish that she would love me,
or at least tell me.
Perhaps, the seed she gave me,
will one day become a tree.
Thoughout our laughing and playing,
there are times when I wish
she was saying,
I love you.
Yet, for now I hold to this grace.
She seems keen on occupying this place.
She has moved into the living room of my heart.
With an eye on the bedroom.
I chuckle to myself, "well, its a start".
So patiently I await
to hear those words and I will mark the date.
Until then I shall wish like a little boy.
Loving as if I already have that joy.
I will wait upon the LORD in faith.
Until then those three wonderful words,
will just have to wait.

Richard J Wright (2009)

The Unfortunate Pain of Fame

Tiger Woods. I never had a real reason to talk about Tiger Woods. Yet, the media blitz that is surrounding this brother is astounding. A billionaire athlete gets caught up in a whirlwind of scandal. While comedians, wannabes, clowns, suckers, leeches, radio talkshow hosts, from all genres throw their two cents in. The whole situation is really for the most part, unfortunate.

There has always been a mystery to Tiger Woods. How can a this Black man (regardless of his prefered ethnic heritage) swing a golf club to the point of becoming a billionaire. He has always yearned for some level of privacy. Yet, when you conquer the white man's sport because lets face it, that was what golf was before Tiger came along, everybody and they mama wasn't so happy about it. Yet, for all the criticism, he has had a cool head through it all. Until now.

Now, let me tackle the Black issue. I can see neck rolling sisters saying "thats what he gets" I can see brothers laughing at the corner store saying "that was stupid, how could he be so dumb?" So many people are commenting and saying what they think he should have did. If you ever want to know if you are a hater, then place the words "I think he should have..." In front of the sentence. One of things that is a interesting is that Black people love Tiger Woods, but its like Tiger is another part of the house none of us can go to. We shared this dynamic with Micheal Jackson. God bless the dead. Instead of us saying what he should have did and all that, we really need to pray for the brother and his family. Yall are aware he does have children. Nevermind these silly women who have taken his downfall for a chance of opportunity. That is just apart of fame. Black people, stop tripping over what has happen and ask God to help Tiger and his family because the media does not care one way or the other. The same people who admired Tiger and want Tiger to play in their cities on their golf courses are the same people right now taking shots. That is the unfortunate pain of fame. People build you up, just to tear you down. We know about that Black people dont we, we call it "crabs in a barrel mentality".

Yes, the brother has made some mistakes. However, who among us haven't. What? We expect because he has some money that he should know better? Do we think that he is flawless. Hardly, no. However, think about David. A man who was after God's own heart. He fell. He had hardships after falling. Yet, God still blessed him. Does anybody even care about Tiger's soul? Get off of Tiger. Pray for him instead of kicking him. Do you remember when you made a mistake? Im sure you have made several. We talk a good game when it comes to looking at someone else's transgressions. Yet, Christ paid for those sins Tiger committed too. He needs your prayers. Trust me, there are a lot of white people right now glad he has taken a fall. We shouldn't be listening on the radio for the latest Tiger joke or waiting the next woman to come out. We should be praying for him. Just some food for thought.

When my hand holds yours

When my hand holds yours,
I do not feel alone.
It is so personal,
so fitting,
so complimentary,
that I do not want to let go.
I feel like a man,
that has found a rare jewel.
I could never find an amount
to suffice its value,
for it is priceless.
In this moment,
I feel light,
I feel peace,
I feel alright.

Richard J Wright

The God Factor

On the local gospel station, one of the favorite songs that is played is by group called Mary Mary. The name of the song is "The God in me". Unfortunately, its one of them fishes and loaves type songs. You know the kind that thanks God for all the stuff He gives us. Now on the surface, there is nothing wrong with that. However, Jesus told us that many follow Him for that reason, the fishes and the loaves. While I will not contest what the ladies singing this song is saying, I will mention that only one lyric in the song talks about change. Its things like this that get me to thinking about what is it all about? Jesus, in His wonderful wisdom told us that life does not consist in the abundance of things. Its a sobering reminder that yes, its nice to have a decent car, lots of clothes and lots of money, but life itself does not revolve around that. Too often people associate material wealth with spiritual growth. Now dont get me wrong, in some cases they go hand in hand, however it is not the end all be all.

I cannot write everything that God is. Even the bible declares that in the book of John. What I can do is give a person reason for knowing that God exists, and that God loves all of us. We are saturated in the body of Christ with so many messages on prosperity that we tend to forget some basic things regarding our faith. We struggle with being identified as a religion versus being known for relationship. What good is it to have all this material wealth and not really give people what Christ wants us to give them, which is the message of the gospel; the death, burial and ressurection. Many people reject the thought that Jesus Christ even existed. I tell folks that for those people, life suits them just fine and that is their issue, not mine. I have had too many experiences to know that God is real. His word is real. His Spirit is as real as the words your reading.

One of the first thoughts is why the need for God? Well, for one God created everything. The next question is why do I need God in my life? Well simply stated, we are fallen creatures. We have an terminal condition called sin which needs to be dealt with. Christ came to be the perfect sacrifice. The whole idea that God would come to earth, take on a physical body and be born in a manger is a bit much for many to handle. Many would say, if He was God, talking about Jesus, why would He feel the need to come to earth in such a way. What way would you have Him to come? He chose this way because it was foretold that He would come this way in the old testament. Now, lets deal with the issue of suffering and pain. Some would say of course if there was a God, why does He allow suffering and pain in the earth? Well, that is like asking why you allow certain things to take place in your own life. If it were up to any of us, we would "make" people do things. Don't we despise that in our own relationships with people? We all have self will. God is not going to put you or anyone in a headlock and make you do anything. God is love and love does not make you do anything. If you are made to do something or feel obligated to do something, that is not freedom but slavery. Hence, wives and husbands being referred to comically being the proverbial "ball and chain". God set order for salvation through the life of Jesus. Christ was crucified and rose from the dead. Now people will try to introduce similar ancient stories, saying in part that this story is not correct because here is a similar instance taking place in this belief system. One thing I have learned is that Satan will not go to war with himself. He is not in the business of tearing down what he puts up. In fact he will promote these "stories" to disprove to the world the existance of Christ. If Satan can disprove that Christ does not exist, then salvation from a life of sin is not needed.

I close with the story of a young Christian college student who was having an exchange with an athiest professor. The professor told the student that he read the bible back and forth and he did not believe it. The young Christian scholar, simply replied "well, that's what you get for reading someone's else mail". The bible is one large love letter written to God's people. It is not for those who don't believe in it. While many make it their business to disprove the authenticity of the bible, they never have time to really focus on what they really believe. Karl Marx called religion the opium of the masses. Well, we see where communism is. The same people who claim that the bible was used to brutalize and enslave fail to admit that communism, facism, colonialism, and nationalism did the same things with the bible and with other ancient writings other than the bible. So should we through out the baby with the bath water? I dont think so.

At the end of the day, we all have to live to with the choices we make in life. The bible records that we all will have a day with God to give an account. What will your account be? Will your life testify that you served Him and loved Him. Or will it be one where you served and only loved yourself. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is LORD. That day is coming, like it or not. You are either going to do it now or then. Either, way whether you believe in Christ or not, whether you believe the bible or not does not matter. Your individual beliefs do not change that reality. John 3:16 says it perfectly. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son for whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life". John 3:17 solidifies it. "For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world but that through Him, the world might be saved". Jesus loves you. His word is the truth. Believe, repent and be baptised. As one preacher eloquently put it. "I know a man from Galilee who can set you free".