Dream land Occurances

Dreams.
Some folks dream and others do not.
I am one who happens to dream... alot.

Tonight, or should I say this morning I had two dreams.
Without going into detail because some stuff is just too personal and wayout after all its a dream.
All I can remember from the first dream was I was a pastor.
I was teaching, and I could see the church I pastored.

All I can really remember from the next dream was I was a gangster. I was shooting at some people and I remember my crew being under fire and us going through a small opening in a window and laying down those who attacked us.

Then I woke up.
I then heard a voice say... "choose life".
I then heard another voice say, "six millions ways to die... choose one".
Then I heard myself say... yeah, there are six million ways to die, but only one way to live".

Bizarre.
Sobering.
Truth.

Is it something I ate or more?

The Truth of One's Self

You know life is pretty interesting if you get caught trying to be something your not. Whether its being a baller on a budget, supermom, or whatever. At the end of the day. A person knows truly who they are. You can lie to yourself but you cant lie to yourself too long. Life has a way of showing you yourself through things. However, being a Christian one of the greatest things you learn is that your life is hidden in Christ. What does that mean? Glad you asked.

Now God is not in the business of putting his children to shame. From the outset, some people think that is what it means to be hidden in Christ. However, it is that but its really way more than that. Its your potential that is hidden. The bible talks about how God has plans for us, thoughts of peace, to achieve an expected end. God expects certain things to happen through Him. The trouble comes when we go outside of God's realm of protection. We sin. We struggle. We screw up. If we do not reside under the auspices of His grace.

I am learning this in my life now. I have done some stupid and ignorant things that have brought more misery than pleasure. More discomfort than comfort. I realize that apart from life just "happening" I know I have not made the best of my efforts. Well. Later for all of that.

I am returning to my first love. I am returning to the fold. 100 percent. My pastor counseled me recently and told me something I know came directly from God. To walk into my potential. It is going to take me to go a certain way. That certain way has been be boogeyman. I am scared of it. I am scared of where it will take me. When you have a calling. No matter what you do. The call has been made. I have ignored it far too long. While I do love the LORD, I have struggled to stay faithful. We all struggle quiet as it is kept. However, I am being truthful when I say that for me, I have no choice but to return to the God fully and completely. I have seen the enemy and the enemy stares at me in the mirror. Its time for a change. Time for me to focus on whats important for me and my family. I know what I need to do. I need to change me. And that my friends... is the truth of myself. What's yours?

SMH

http://guyism.com/2010/02/anti-gay-preacher-shows-gay-porn-during-church-sermon.html

SMH...

What some people do for attention or backward thinking. Uganda... you gotta do better.

This reminds me of a preacher who was talking to a group of men who were dealing with struggling with pornography. The preacher mistakenly gives out a website that hosts pornography. Thats like telling a crackhead in rehab where they can go to get some crack. Im sure dude thinks he is doing a good thing. Why are you tryin to get people executed is the bigger issue. What about redemption and forgiveness. You know the stuff that Christ created the church for?

SMH

If I Trust...

If I trust you,
could you trust me.
Or would you let my flaws define me?
Would you run to another behind me,
If I dont live up to the expectation of thee?

If I trust you,
would you promise to keep it real,
or would you tell your girlfriend
or some nigga how you really feel?
I could trust you,
just trust you to be you,
thats about as far I could go to.

What would you put me through?
The things fresh in your past.
How long could a good thing really last.
I guess when I think about it.
Im a cynic, so forgive me if I doubt it.

Richard J Wright (2010)

Lamentations: Blues Cry

They say the good die young,
but where Im from,
is just a sneeze from the slums.
We act like rats fighting for crumbs.
And if you get make middle age,
you feel stuck in the middle page.
Unsure what's the next move.
And all you want is your soul soothed.
But the bills pile up
and while the hole in your heart grows,
and if you die inside,
nobody knows.
You kick on auto pilot and flow.
And you wonder why we listen to music in Houston slow.
Cuz we tryin to slow down the time,
cuz when you survivin, all you know is the grind.
You wanna smell flowers and take showers,
in high towers,
but you stuck in the SWAT
where the water is hard and the sugar mamas are sour.
We looking for hope in God's power.
But principalities and powers prowl.
And even the sisters prey and the brothers growl.
While the hopeless never smile
and all the gangs roll hard with demonic scowls.
While the old men walk with their heads down,
because the life they led is one big let down.
Then they get lowered into the ground,
No one makes a sound,
no tears for a dead beat can be found.
Are they knockin on heaven's door
or slidin head first into hell's gates.
If you dont live the truth
then hell awaits.
We gotta learn, cause if we dont then we burn.
And while teeth are gritting,
nobody's weeping
because like the storm of century,
secrets are what people keeping.
Cuz we lose ends, we lose friends,
we lose life, while the earth spins.
So I tell you to seek Christ while He may be found.
Forget this drama that's going on all around.
I rather cry now, than cry later.
Cause we gotta believe its gonna be greater.
We else do we have or what do we want?
These games are designed to pacify and taunt.
Its a crying shame
how we losing the game.
All because we dont think in the right frame.
We left alone to just sit and cry,
can you hear the echo from years past
asking your heart and mind why?
why?
why?

Richard J Wright (2010)

A Real Valentine

After all the gifts,
red hearts and all.
After last piece of candy
and taken off the shelves and walls.
You left alone,
only to find.
Somebody tell me,
what's a real valentine?

I gave some gifts,
I got some hugs,
I got a bill,
and I all I got now is Kanye shrugs.
After its said and done,
Im back to the grind,
still wondering,
what's real valentine?

We give candy, cards, and sex,
yet after its over,
we wonder whats next?
We left perplex,
mind just vexed.
Why does my heart read LOL like a text?
Was it worth it,
I mean all the time,
Cuz im still looking
for a real valentine.

After the well wishes,
dinner and dirty dishes,
Its all suspicious.
It wasnt that delicious.
I guess in retrospect,
Love is something you protect.
Give freely but no trinkets will you collect.
Since God is love,
the rest is just fodder,
try to appreciate it
but everyday it gets harder.
I wipe my eyes,
so wont feel blind.
Yet Im stuck wondering
is there a real valentine?

Christ can only give,
and allows me to live.
He's really the only answer,
Red represents the blood,
and the heart is the spirit.
He's the only way,
I can concieve or hear it.
Jesus gave his life,
just so I could have mine.
I now know
He is really the only real Valentine.

A real Valentine gives love everyday,
its up to us,
to really see it that way.
No holiday and celebration by man
can compare to the excellence
of His divine Hands.

Dear Jesus, thank you.
As long as Im living,
You keep on giving.
Dont let me be driven,
by gifts and enticing smiles.
Let me be motivated by piles,
of love you give to me everyday,
through your word and the encouraging things that people say.
Im glad that I dont have to no longer find,
a reason to love
for you are my real Valentine.


Richard J Wright (2010)

Happy Valentine's Day

There is nothing better than to get out of your comfort zone and do something different. Especially if you find yourself alone on this holiday. Today, I'm going to spend my afternoon and evening at the movies with my favorite girl, my daughter. She's a diva at times but she's a good girl for the most part. I cannot be selfish and try to spend time with friends all the time. So this day is about her. Sure I would love to be cuddle up with a chocolate amazon eating strawberries or something like that. lol Yet, my daughter needs me today more than ever. Since Im the first man that she has ever loved in life, I must always be sure that she will always know how important and valuable she is to me.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Diary of a Frozen Heart II

It amazes me,
how somebody can show you love,
only to snatch it back.

It amazes me,
how somebody can open your heart,
and make a it snack.

I keep repelant for peasant,
trying to eat my heart like phesant,
intellectually dispose of the irrelevant
then they wanna know where I went.
And how my language changes,
in the midst of strangers.
Like a robot telling the Robinsons "Danger, Danger"

How did we go from sharing kisses in front of the fireplace,
to the place where there is no place
for relationships to grow
they wanna take it slow,
but I reside in the land of Screw,
it aint nothing to mash the gas and chop you.
Now its residue between me and you.
From treating to dutch
what you wanna do?
Now you wanna hug,
whats that between friends.
I barely look at you
is a sign of the end.
Take this half hug,
and the penance stare for a slug.
Yeah we friends but the game's unplugged.
So here's to the good guy,
getting close and got ghost no asking why.
I keep my heart frozen,
for the women who dont know,
waste my time and you gonna find
how the game really go.

Ho Blogging

Well... In the blogosphere, it seems as if people have a little substance to share. So they go with the most basic carnal idea, sex. Now, if you have some significant to say, I will take the minute or so to listen or read your thoughts. Yet, if all you have is the "freak story of the day" then I just have a proverbial yawn. Another chick who thinks she's a dime. Another dude thinks he's sex god. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Where is Ed Lover when I need him. Come On Son... Daughter...


Most blogs like this last about a good minute and then they lose steam because truthfully, you can only lie about your escapades for so long. All of a sudden we have hundreds of sexologists. Every dumb broad from across the tracks thinks they are the new Zane. What's worst... is the biting that goes on. I wont even go there. While I know there are some who find much of what these empty brains entertaining. I find it kind of sad. Hundreds of people lying on their private parts isnt cute. Perhaps Im just old school and think that some of this stuff isnt worth printing or typing. Larry Flynt thinks yall need to chill.

When I look at our culture, I try to picture or hear the music of the day. Now we all know that most of the music today is terrible. R&B has died. They talk about Hip Hop being dead. Well R&B has been dead. I cant imagine 20 years from now, people will be trying to jam some of this garbage. Blogging is the same. Hopefully, the substance will pick up. We need to lose some of this foolishness. Its not all bad but again come on son...

Reflections of Time Spent

This weekend, I went to a funeral. I went to church and watched the Superbowl. I watched it at home, undisturbed. I rested on my futon and lazily watched the game and laughed at a few commercials. It was a full weekend filled with laughter, tears, emotion and thought.

As a man, times like these remind me how precious life is. I think about how much I need to love and be loved. Since the radio isnt working in my car, I had to listen to humming of the road. In this midst of this, I tried to think clearly about the going ons in my life.

As a younger man, you dont put much stock in relationships. As you get older, you learn the importance of them. I wonder whether or not I will find love and have a happy ending. Too often, I am just disappointed at what I have experienced. Somethings self inflicted and others just a circumstance where life happens. There is no devil to blame. Sometimes I just screw up and other times, things just happen.

God... Boy do I need Him. I am struggling to keep my sanity. As a 40 something, bachelorhood is way overrated. I need to comfort of a woman. Now I dont need a woman to live, but I need a woman be made alive. At least thats what I tell myself from time to time. Well. Actually, its God that I need. Because if I have Him, then perhaps He will show me mercy and bring that special someone to my life. While I do have some choices available at this moment. Truthfully, I dont know if they are to be taken seriously. The whole situation is problematic at best.

I just dont want to be alone. That much is certain. As long as the phone is ringing. As long as there someone to talk to, I seem to be okay. Yet, there are those days when the phone doesnt ring. Those days when I scroll through my phone directory and no one is available or answering the phone. I start think then that something is perhaps wrong with me.

I have a lot of work to do. The trouble with that is, I dont know exactly what Im supposed to do. Perhaps I should just stand still and wait on God. I ask myself though, "Is God waiting on me?" Surely He knows what I need. God help me.

When You are the Good Guy, but not the Right One.

"You're a great guy. I like you a lot. But..."

How many times have I heard those words. I recently heard those words and I just cut old girl off. Women complain they cant find a decent man. They find one and its not the decent man they are looking for. While this person admits some of her issues are a result of her experiences, it is no cigar for me. She knows Im a great guy but Im just not the one for her. While she wont completely rule me out in the future, according to her words, again it is no cigar for me.

For whatever reason, women or should I say many of them dont know what they exactly want. They have these standards that are so out there to the point where it doesnt even matter how you feel. According to her, she doesnt want to hurt so she just rather back away. Well you know how I feel about that. You back away, im backing away even further. No one is perfect but apparently there are imperfect people more perfect than yours truly. I pay it no never mind. As a guy, we all been there. Which is why many guys just rather play the field, be dogs and stress the objects of their affection out. I cannot be one of those guys. I could, but i have a conscious and that conscious would kick my butt at every whim.

I guess life happens. Move around or be kicked to the ground. I just rather move around. Its much safer and makes way more sense. As for old girl, well I will give her the space she needs. Im not crowding no one or brown nosing. Im too old for that nonsense. Life sucks sometimes where you are the good guy. However, life is too short to wait upon a fickle woman. Hopefully, she will find he right good guy. I doubt it but anything is possible. I guess.

My Funny Valentine

In a few weeks, one the most popular holidays will be celebrated. Valentine's day. Its a great holiday if you have somebody, but if you dont well lets just say that you will be glad to get some good quality candy half price the next day.

I dont have a clue as to what I will be doing on Valentine's day. I just know that right now, I am so uninspired until its funny. Somebody go and do a drive by on cupid and jack him for his arrows.

Seriously, im sure I will find something to do. Probably take in a movie or something. Try to get my mind away from things or least the idea of being single. A friend of mine recently talked to me about the gift of singleness. It is a strange gift. That much is given. I am trying to be positive and have a great attitude about it but somedays make me just livid.

To all of the lovers. I say to you God bless you. Have fun, be safe. Make real memories and just enjoy the season. Otherwise you could be sulking like yours truly. To the lovers who are having a rough time, work it out. Perhaps Valentine's day, could mark a renewal.