Making Room for the "One"

People in your life sometimes prepare you for things. I honestly believe that people can be apart of your life but not in your life. What do you mean by that preacher? I think people can hold certain attention to your life but not be a force or object in your life. We can be influenced by people or we can influence people. Either way, it can be something else to know the reality of your life. What do I mean?

Being single, has offered me the company of a few women. In meeting and learning these women, I have learned much about them but more importantly, more about myself. When you first meet someone, they can sway your attention. They get prompt phone calls. They get late night conversations. They get early morning chats. Then reality sets in. You come to understand that they are not the "one".

As a man. I have to find the "one". So often, you meet people and they are cool to talk with and even hang out with but you know they are not the "one". So basically you wind up wasting your time or worst maybe even settling. Women are strange creatures. Loveable. Funny. Smart. Yet, at their worst not understandable. Complexity isnt a bad thing but for a man it can be a frustrating thing. I am not complaining. However, do not fault me for deciding to look elsewhere when you are not making it easy to understand you. So sometimes, you have to go through your phone rolodex and the one in your mind and begin to delete old numbers.

I do know everything but I do know that the one, is a space filler. You cannot entertain or consider others when she is in play. While the one may be hard to spot from initial contact, she begins to make herself seen with her fruits and she has no complications.

Complications are those things that one cannot ignore when dealing with someone. For example, baby daddy issues, or "oh you still married, after not being with your husband over five years?" Who does that? I tell you who, many women out here. Parading themselves as available but not officially. At the end of the day, we all have our issues but some stuff cannot be ignored. For women, its the same deal. If I have issues, I need to deal with my issues. I dont want my issues to be "your" issues. I met a sister a couple of years ago who was married. She was married to a guy who left her over 10 years ago. Yet, she remained married. Why? She told me, she didnt have the money to file divorce. Well, needless to say, I couldn't do anything with that because it wasnt my issue. Should a person wait to divorce until someone new comes along? That is crazy. That example has been only one a few situations that have turned me off to dating.

Right now, I am not dating. I want to, but at this moment in time. I do not feel it is best. I have friends who like me but I cannot fully be persuaded to go forward because I know they are not the one. It is what it is. Until I meet her. Its just something to do until something better comes along. That isnt fair to them, so its best that they remain unclaimed and are able to date whomever. I have stories for days but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many stories I have. All that matters is the one and that story has yet to take place.