Visions of Heaven

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The trouble with being alone


As a man, I have needs. The needs I have concerning the opposite sex is most perplexing. I want intimacy, I want sex, I want companionship. What is the problem? Women are too complex. They want so much from you. Yet, they dont take the time to fully appreciate what you do want to give them. Yes, as a man we want sex, but that isnt all we want. If a woman offers up her body, especially in fear that the man will go on to the next woman, then that is extortion and not love. Why would you believe you have love in the first place? Men try their best to not be so emotional because emotions can drive you like a slave. Emotions will make you compromise your character and even your standards. A man wants to know that the woman he is with will be there for them, good or bad. Too many women are quick to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. Yet, when the woman has the trouble, the man is expected to bear the trouble. I have tried my dear best to love women past their pains, past relationships, and baggage and all their drama. Recently i have met two women who are married, both dont live with their husbands and they have been separated for over 5 year periods. Yet, they wont get a divorce for whatever reason. Its crazy because they expect me to deal with that. At the end of the day, you pick and choose people who have problems and issues. No one is perfect but some stuff is flat out hypocritical. If I have an issue I am damned for it. Yet, I am expected to deal with females and their issues. Things like this make me wonder if I will ever get married again. Right now its a landslide in the favor of not happening.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are too complex.

While I laughed at that, I must agree it is true. Shucks!

I agree with this post. It was a good write. However, do you want marriage?

I think one difference between men and women is that women will go for what they want regardless of how unrealistic it is. Men; however, will go for what they want as long as it is reasonable. If it isn't then, oh well, they learn to deal with not having it in their lives.

Richard J Wright said...

At the end of the day, I want marriage again. However, I need it to be as you say reasonable. I cannot follow pipedreams. I have a daughter who needs to know that daddy will remain focused and not get caught up in something that will not benefit her as well. I have to be realistic in the sense that Its not just me but my daughter as well. Many women are not the motherly type and truthfully I need that type of sister to help and assist me in that area. So, who knows? I cant just follow my heart solely. If I do, its a possible that my daughter's and my heart will be broken in the process and I just cannot no longer live with those factors in my life. I am a package and the package is not up for negotiation. (dag, did i spell that right? lol)

Anonymous said...

Many women are not the motherly type, really?

Women are born to nurture, so I have a hard time considering a woman who isn't the motherly type. It simply is in our nature.

Do you think it is a choice many women are making not to be motherly? Or are you saying many women are not good role models?

Richard J Wright said...

Actually women are motherly in nature. However, many of them do not want to be mothers themselves, if they are not already. IMO. Yes, I do believe many of them are making the conscious decision to not be motherly in some cases towards men who have children. Many of them do not want the baby mama drama, which is understandable. I personally do not have that issue because my child hasnt seen her mother in several years. Its a fine line, though. Yes, I am also saying that many women do not make good role models. Truthfully, its a mature issue. Plus many women are choosing to have children later in life and some are not even thinking about marriage. It is something else, I tell you. I talked with a sister just last night and she said she wants her cake and eat it too. She just wants her way. She doesnt want marriage because that means she has to be submit to vows and have a man rule his and her home. Many women are not feeling this. Which is disturbing because she is looking for a door mat and not a man. While she claims that all she wants is a man to step up (pay some bills), when I asked her what she is going to kick in, she simply said love and something about being a man's backbone. Truthfully, she was being vague. Which leads me to believe she really doesnt know what men want versus what they need. I could have pressed her for details but seemed only to get annoyed by the whole issue. Yet, i know there are good sisters out here who want a real relationship and can be endearing to children they do not bear, I think they are the exception nowadays instead of the rule. Its just a matter of weeding out the bad ones to get to the One.

Anonymous said...

Well said. It, unfortunately, seems like you have to do a lot of weeding to find that needle in the haystack. I wish I could say my love was sufficient enough to have a man take care of me for life. LOL. Just wrong.

Richard J Wright said...

Truthfully, I dont think there is anything wrong with a man taking care of a woman fully. My father did it. My mother never has had to work during the 42 years of their marriage. I think if both parties understood their roles and the finances were there to make it happen, then i think that is what is best. If a woman wants to work, great. However, if children are involved then mom should consider nurturing the children full time. Also. I do believe you are worth taking care of. You are a queen. You are certainly worthy of that. Its just unfortunate that those brothers are like that proverbial needle in the haystack. They are simply hard to find.

Anonymous said...

Thank you.