Visions of Heaven

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

When you cannot have what you want.


In dominoes the game, there is a proverb.
"All money aint good money"
Life is the same way.
You cannot have everything you want.
It doesnt matter what it is or who it is.
Life is not about getting always what you want.
Last night I dreamed about someone.
Someone who I want.
Yet, it is someone I cannot have.
For whatever reason, life happened.
Because life happens, things are set in a way where its not to be.
You could say its like living a lie.
Have you ever tasted a fine wine
and remember how it touched the pallet of your tongue?
Do remember how it smoothly went down and gave you a warmth unlike no other wine?
How would you like to know that you would never get to taste it ever again?
Its almost tormenting.
Sometimes things you touch and taste,
are not for sale or for consumption... anymore.
Its enough to bring a tear to your eye.
Life happens.
So now you walk about aimlessly.
Confused. Conflicted. Confounded.
All of these cons.
Leave you convinced.
You been conned.
Even as you go forward.
Like Lot's wife, you just want to see what you cannot have...
again.
Yet, like the dominoes proverb says "all money aint good money".
So you make another play.
And try not remember what could or could have been.
Life happens.
Again and Again.

Richard J Wright (2010)

3 comments:

Tboo said...

I erased what I had written a couple of times, because I just didn't know what exactly to say. What is it that I want, I want a christian man who truly Loves God and who loves family and who will love me for me. This man doesn't have to be rich, drop dead hunk, or sexy as all out doors, but all of those would definitely be a plus. I want a man that will love me and communicate with me. He will do what he can to make me happy as long as it is within the guidelines of what is right. I want a man that looks at me and he sees a woman that he would love to grow old with. He sees a heart that forgives and does his best to not dissapoint. He is not afraid to tell me the truth and he is patient enough to walk with me until I am able to recieve it. I want a man that will play scrabble with me, he will inspire me to write again, he will give me a visual to think about when Gerald Levert is on my radio. He will be so thoughtful that all of the little things that I love will be a priority for him and not just an after thought. He will be trusting and trustworthy. He will be able to give as well as recieve. He can take it on the chin and he can swing back ever so gently when he needs to. He will be a man that is gentle and funny. He is adventurous and curious. He is a family man that doesn't just say he is a family man. He is involved with doing family things. He knows how to satisfy sexually and what he doesn't know, he doesn't mind asking me what I like, and do I like this and do I like that. He is not afraid to experiment. He is not perfect and he does not portray himself to be. He is comfortable in most settings because he is comfortable with himself. I want a man that is ready, willing, and able to meet these standards.Everthing that I look for in a man is what I will bring to the table. Gerald Levert said, "I'd give anything and everything, to fall in love, just this one time, i'd like to find, what Ive been dreaming of, yes I could find someone to hold me, but that wouldn't be enough, I'd give anything to fall in love.!
Yeah, I want what I want! Can I have it?

Richard J Wright said...

Interesting...
I see you have thought this out about what you want in a man. Im not mad at that.

Anna Renee said...

To Tboo: I hear you on what you want in a man. Would you be willing to forget everything you say you want in a man and focus on being everything a man wants? Yes, you said you'd bring it to the table. You said he didnt have to be perfect. Do you realize that in not being perfect, he won't bring everything that you want to the table a good portion of the time? When you want him to be strong, he may be weak sometimes. He may not be able to forgive readily, he may look at you sometimes and want to go away from you, he may hide the truth sometimes and disappoint you, he may backslide sometimes and not feel like playing scrabble, his own thoughts may be priority to him, he may be thoughtless sometimes. Would you be able to wait for him to go to God and seek His face for help to BE a better man? Could you wait for him to work through his issues, and still love him? Even if he makes you mad? If he blows it from time to time, would you have patience with him? If Yes, then you would get a man who looks at you, and will want to grow old with you, despite what YOUR issues might be!