Paining

In my heart its raining.
Through my laughter I smile but its paining.
My memories are filled with pain,
Like New Edition I cant stand the rain.
But the rain falls,
and words call,
my expressions are plastered on the wall.
Sometimes I sleep,
most times I dont.
They say they love me,
but their actions wont,
convince me cause I have seen a lot of pain.
Not physically but mentally and its always a strain.

You know life aint fair,
and no one cares,
they say they there
but they really not there.
Cuz if they there,
then they would be here.
Its what you do
thats crystal clear.
Not what you say
cuz those are just words.
Seldom spoken in truth
when love is a verb.
Im just paining.

So I sit alone,
cry alone,
and nine times outta ten
I'll die alone.
Who really cares?
Only God,
so when you say you do,
its really hard
to take your words as sincere,
if you really cared then you'd be here.
I try to be there for those around.
But just like Bobby said
nobody wants you when you down.
Im just paining.

Richard J Wright (2009)